Future stepdaughter's role in wedding

At almost all weddings I've been to, bridesmaids/best men/etc. sit down during the actual ceremony so it's just the couple standing with the officiant. She could stand up with him before the ceremony and even whilst you are walking down the aisle, but then sit down at the front when all the guests sit down. She could also be one of your witnesses so she would be invited up to participate in the legal bit. You may choose to have readings during your ceremony so she could read one of those. Then during the reception she can give the "best man" speech.

I agree with Hayley. The best man usually stands with the groom until the bride arrives, and then either sits down or stands to one side. He then steps forward to hand over the rings and again for the signing of the register. He also usually gives a speech during the reception and is the groom's support and 'gofer' throughout the day. I've never seen a best man or bridesmaid who stayed standing right by the bride and groom throughout the ceremony, so Lucy taking on this role doesn't mean she will be standing up there with you.

As you're not having a bridesmaid, you could also put her in charge of holding your bouquet during the vows, so she has a role supporting both of you in the ceremony. That might be a nice way of symbolising her support of you joining her family.

During the ceremony she will be seated like any other bridal party role, such as best man. maid of honour etc so you dont need to worry about her being stood there during the vows. Is not the same as my stepdaughter was only 8 but she walked me down the aisle my dad has passed away) nut it was a a symbol of us joining as a family. She also did a small reading about families coming together, so could Lucy maybe do one of these things? It was important for me to include her, but like you, i didn't want it to all be about her. As she is older and being her dads BM I think that is more than enough of a role in your day but a couple o other ideas if you wanted to include her more.

Thanks, Charlotte. I like the idea of her doing a reading. I definitely want her to have an elevated role but prefer that it not be too prominent.