Get married in 12 days and I am sick to death of it.... (anyone not wanting a dampner on their day, skip this post :)

I went through this last week, me and OH had a massive row over his sister! I think you just have to try to let it wash over you and get back to enjoying the fact you and your oh are getting married.

Unfortunately the reality of weddings is that they are very stressful and expensive, and for most of us, with the exception of a mortgage, will never and have never spent that amount of money in one go.

It's all too easy to lose sight of the reason you are getting married in the first place - that you want to be with your partner, and to get bogged down in the details. Of course, crap from suppliers, bridesmaids etc only adds to it as you expect everyone and everything to actually be helpful.

What is on your "to do" list? I'm sure that many of us are happy to try and help if there's something that can be done to help.

It's all very overwhelming, and I know that without everyone else here at Hitched that has helped with our planning and bounced ideas off, I'd still not have half the stuff we have organised done, and we've got just under 4 weeks to go.

Most guys actually don't know how much planning a wedding takes, I know I'm very much the exception to the rule, and I have a lot of respect for the brides that 'go it alone' when it comes to the planning. Many think they just grab a suit out of the wardrobe, drive down to the venue, and hang around waiting for you - and that's all they need to do.

We've had an awkward bridesmaid, initially disinterested parents and irritating guests (such as the distant relative who I haven't seen for 20 years, whined about not getting an invite, then when we sent one he hasn't replied, not even to say he can't come), plus the chasing non rsvp's (the date was there for a reason), the budget that went to pot, etc etc etc.

Keep with it. You've got this far. On the day you'll walk down the aisle and reach the front, turn to your h2b who will have the biggest grin on his fact as he sees you in all your finery, and all the crap you've been given all round the last few weeks will go completely out of your mind.

xxxxx made me cry xxx

In a good way, I hope... if not, sorry

Seems a good time to post again something my grandfather wrote about his wedding in 1945, which I'm putting in my speech too.

“I don’t know why it is but a woman looks her finest on her wedding day, she positively glows, - whereas the groom apart from the silly grin on his face, looks the same. The thing I remember is standing at the altar, with brother George as best man, and hearing the rustle of a wedding gown and the footsteps of my future wife – and life – coming closer to stand by my side.”

awwww, your future wife is very lucky!!!!!!!! What a beautiful thing to say :-)

x

I am so sorry to hear this, i really really hope things improve. Felt i had to write more but AJ has said it all - well done AJ.

Go home cook dinner pour a glass of wine for you both (or beer or your tipple of choice!) and start afresh when your hubby to be gets home.

Good luck x

thanks date twin!

...And remember the most important bit is you and h2b getting married. Sod the rest of the issues.

Please report back tomorrow and tell us all you're feeling a bit better!!!!???

Put on your favourite happy tune and dance around like a lunatic. I always find that helps. *

(*yes i probably am a litte crazy)

Can I ask what you meant by "Done nothing but row about wedding crap with my h2b"?

I'd ahve thought all the big decisions would have been made weeks, months ago, and there isn't a great deal left to do?

He might well be feeling stressed, nervous or whatever about the day but most guys find it hard to express emotions like that - and lashing out may be a way to disguise that.

I agree with Anniepie - sounds like you both need at least a day off from talking/thinking/planning the wedding. I know you only have 12 days but you will be much mroe efficient if you approach it all feeling refreshed rather than haggard. My OH and I went away for a night back in July for his birthday and I insisted we switched off phones for the whole time and it was bliss - came back feelign rejuvenated and ready to start again.

Good luck - just think of the day after the wedding when you will be husband and wife if that helps remind you why you're doing this.

Sounds like you need a night off with your h2b - order a take away or cook something you both enjoy, have a nice drink of whatever tickles your fancy, switch off your phones and watch a film or do somehting you enjoy and remind yourselves why you are doing all this i.e. because you love each other!

How are things now Natalie?

Hope you're feeling a bit better today. Wedding planning can be ridiculously stressful and sometimes it's really hard to step back and remember why you're doing it.

Make yourself a list of what still needs doing and give yourself a realistic timeframe to do them but make sure you schedule in some 'you' time and also some time to give your OH a big hug and to tell him you love him x

Hi Everyone

I'm back and all is good in natalie-ville

thanks for being there guys xxxxxxxx

Good to hear

I think the wanting to get it over and done with hits most people !! I certainly got to the point of wanting to just get to the day and get on with it all. I got so i was so stressed of it all, bored of thinking about it, as well as the worry/hope that everything would go ok on the day (as well as hoping there'd be no last minute problems/hiccups!).

Your wedding day is described as being the best (or one of the best) days of your lives, but it's also one of the most stressful things you can do as well.

We thoroughly enjoyed every minute of our wedding day in April, and whilst it all went perfectly and looking at the photo's and thinking back to the day itself makes us very happy - we are more than happy that it's over and done with. I don't think i'd want to go through it all again in a hurry ! I think a big part is the expectations and other people's views/opinion's/their expectations. Whilst it's your day and it should only be about you, you also want the other people there to be happy and enjoy themselves too (and to think your hard earned cash has been used in a good way). It is very hard when those around you begin to seem rude/ungrateful for the gesture of their role/invite!

For me, i got the the point where i had to make sure i knew exactly what was still left to do, got on with it, then said to myself "i've done all that i can". It's annoying to think that there are loose ends to tie up and you want to be in control of everything BUT on the day itself, whilst you will have an element of checking that everything is right, once you've had the ceremony everything will fall into place and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about !!

I'm just thinking forget all the fluffy stuff! I want to be his wife!!

that sent shivers through me but amazing..

didnt want to read and run, to be honest me and my OH have a massive to do with a week to go, we both said horrible things and said we wanted to cancel the wedding.. after a few cool down hours we realised sod everyone else this is our day and only our day just remember your marrying the person you love and make sure you two and ONLY you two are happy buggar everyone esle thats what i say