Beginner September 2015

Getting carried away with wedding planning :-/

tash&ste, 10 February 2015 at 15:00 Posted on Planning 0 5

Hi all.

With less than 7 months to go I decided to review our finances/budget and I'm ashamed to say that I've just lost the plot completely with this wedding! We went from having a very small, informal wedding of just 16 people to a moderately sized full blown do, and I've decided we simply can't afford it. H2b has been trying to reassure me; we'll manage, we'll take out a small loan, we will work more hours etc etc but the whole thing is just worrying me now. That's not how I wanted this supposedly enjoyable time to be like - full of stress and anxiety. So now I've decided to be sensible and cut out the evening do and settle for a lovely meal in a lovely venue's private dining room, with 30 family members and friends. Luckily we haven't invited anyone to an evening reception, thank god.

It's a shame we've had to let go of a few plans and tighten the purse strings, but I'd rather that than have all the trimmings and be stressed and in debt. This wedding planning lark can be dangerous haha!!

Not having an evening do won't be odd, will it? Of course, we will want to mingle with our guests in the hotel bar into the wee hours but I am worried they will be a bit disappointed once they find our there's no evening food/dancing. I'm hoping we can arrange a party at a later date to include everyone else.

5 replies

Latest activity by AprilBride15, 11 February 2015 at 21:17
  • A
    Beginner April 2015
    AprilBride15 ·
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    You are right, you can get carried away; its like being in a bubble! I don't know about you but I never dreamed of weddings and things but as soon as I starting planning this - its all I have thought/dreamed about!

    And yes it is all very costly, we have gone over our original budget; but thankfully we can afford to.

    It does seem like as soon as you say wedding you may as well double or triple the price of everything!

    I think you and you OH have done really well to come to a compromise that wont break and the bank, and you are both happy with. I wouldn't worry about not having a big evening do, the people coming to your wedding are their to share your most important day - not for the party scene!

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  • alyj66
    VIP August 2014
    alyj66 ·
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    We didn't have an evening do as such, we made a play list on an iPod and had a dance when we wanted to. We used the hotel restaurant for the meal which was served about 1800hrs and spent most of our evening mingling with guests and chatting. Everyone enjoyed it, so don't worry about being unconventional.

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  • Daisy Bell
    Beginner August 2015
    Daisy Bell ·
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    We are only doing something small as well, the ceremony with a dinner following. Nevertheless my OH wanted to take out a small loan as it helps him relax a little more and take away the pressure of having to come up with a lot of money within six months. We (he) took it out over three years but are planning to pay it back much sooner.

    We also went from wanting a registrar's office wedding to potentially having it at a historic house very close to where we live (Carberry Tower), which would of course be much more expensive. Even though we have a small loan, we know that we can afford it, even if we end up spending a little more (as long as it is within reason). Maybe a bit unusual, but it is mainly my OH who cares that our wedding will be exactly what we want, and who am I to argue with that.

    So if we go with Carberry Tower, we will be spending quite a bit more than expected, although it will still be a small wedding by most standards. But the venue is an absolute dream (at least from the outside, will be visiting the inside on Friday) and so close to home too, just a 10 minute drive which will make everything less stressful.

    We have also gone from wanting to elope to having a wedding with 4 guests (parents and my brother) to now 8-9 guests (two uncles and aunts that he's very close to and potentially my brother's new girlfriend as well).

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  • 2
    Beginner March 2015
    2ndtimeforever ·
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    I think you can make your wedding as amazing as you wish. Its about you and H2B celebrating the rest of your lives together.

    Not having an evening do wont be odd, having a debt that brings stress and worry at the outset of a marriage would be odd....

    Maybe you could compromise and have a very small selection of sandwiches/ evening nibbles brought out to your guests that you will be socialising later during the evening? Maybe like an afternoon tea selection ?? Not everyone will want to eat if they have already been fed and watered earlier lol.

    We are only having 28 guests to our wedding I have flatly refused to budge on this even when nearest and dearest have expressed that great aunt Edith who I haven't seen since I was 2 should be invited... We cant and refuse to have any debt attached to our day so we have planned a late ceremony with a lovely 4 course meal at a restaurant and then sandwiches and tiny cakes at about 8ish for guests .

    Im sure your day will be fabulous x x

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  • A
    Beginner April 2015
    Aquiescence* ·
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    I think it depends on your values around debt. We have been very fortunate to have some money given by parents, and to have been able to save each month. Despite this we have both had to put around £2-3k from our savings in and I have just taken out an interest free credit card - we will be able to pay this off before the interest free period expires by continuing to save the amount we are now each month. So for me, this feels fine, even thought it is getting into debt for a short period.

    It sounds like you need to meet in the middle somewhere with your OH. If you will be financially ok with a small load, extra hours etc, and it will make all the difference to him then maybe consider spending a bit more...if he can come round to your way of thinking then maybe not. You only do it once! I don't think it will be odd not having a big evening do if that's not what you want, unless you are big dancers/partiers and it would feel weird to you on the day.

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  • Nims
    Beginner July 2015
    Nims ·
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    It's all about what suits you. For us, we're having a midday ceremony followed by lunch in a restaurant; it'll all be over by 4pm! We may or may not all head to a pub afterwards, who knows, we've wrote on the invitations though that the festivities finish approx 4pm. Nobody has said anything negative, in fact most are glad they can go home that night lol!

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