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A
Beginner May 2016

Getting "legally" married before the big day.

Adsco, 25 September, 2014 at 18:14 Posted on Planning 0 15

Hi all,

I was just wondering what people's opinions are on getting the legal side and the paperwork out the way before the big day? Is this a normal thing to do?

The thing is, we have our hearts set on the venue however it's not licensed to hold weddings. So we were thinking of having a romantic blessing with a celebrant there but that would be the actual wedding ceremony that everyone attends, followed by drinks reception and wedding breakfast etc.

The legal side of it would be done the week before just myself and my fiancé and two witnesses. The reason being for not having it on the day is because we wouldn't want it to get in the way of the actual day itself. Is it weird that we would be legally married before our real wedding day? We would celebrate our anniversary on the day we actually got married and the registry office day would be nothing more than signing some paper so not really anything.

Has anyone else done this or planning this? Just wondered what peoples views were.

Thank you Smiley smile

Adam

15 replies

Latest activity by Ali, 30 January, 2025 at 06:13
  • R
    Beginner December 2014
    rambosmum ·
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    It entirely depends on what would make you 'feel' married- to me it's saying vows to one I love and meaning them, when ever, wherever with whomever present. If for you it is saying it in front of all your family and friends then I see no issue in what you propose- you won't 'feel' married until the event. Have you considered a different venue for each aspect of the wedding and using your chosen venue for the WB and evening reception- I found when planning timings, having 20mins in a car with my hubby seemed like a very nice break!

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  • Gemma Lawrence
    Gemma Lawrence ·
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    Hi Adam!

    It's not uncommon for couples to get married ahead of their 'wedding day'. It gives you so much more freedom to do what you want, where you want. My brother in law got married at a registry office local to home in the UK and then went to Australia to have a 'wedding' with all his new wifes family - they convinced them that was the actual wedding.

    xx

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  • Cat In A Teacup
    Beginner August 2015
    Cat In A Teacup ·
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    We are 'getting legalled' two days before our actual ceremony. The main reason is that I wanted to get married in the woods which obviously isn't legal in England, also it works out around £500 cheaper to have a legal ceremony at a registry office and hire an independent celebrant for the main day.

    We had our concerns to begin with as we didn't want to feel like we were already married on our wedding day, but we got around this by planning to make the 'legalling' as insignificant as possible. We will have witnesses from the street (or fire station next door!), wear normal clothes and say the bare minimum legal requirement as our vows. Some family members haven't taken it very well, but they understand our reasoning.

    As someone else said, it depends on what you see as the most important part of a wedding. For us the legal aspect just isn't important, what matters is the personal vows that we make to each other.

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  • alexandrawedding@hotmail.co.uk
    Rockstar November 2014
    alexandrawedding@hotmail.co.uk ·
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    We are getting married legally a week before the wedding as we would have to pay the venue and extra £500 if we has the registrars there (something about them needing to be on site) and this was our celebrant has done us a lovely personal ceremony so it's worked out well. Not many people will even know! Xx

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  • Paula @ Ollievision
    Paula @ Ollievision ·
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    It's really normal is some other countries. I went to Holland for my friend's wedding and she & her husband were out shopping with us and said "We have to go to the town hall at xx time to do some paperwork for the wedding."

    They were gone about 10 min and then had the wedding the next day.

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  • I-go-by-many-names
    Super April 2015
    I-go-by-many-names ·
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    Totally normal these days. Apart from the fact English marriage laws are still stuck in the dark ages it seems and you can only have a legal secular ceremony in certain places, people are becoming more disillusioned with religion and are seeking non religious yet meaningful ceremonies for their big day. This is where humanist ceremonies come in, yet still are not legally recognised in England and Wales. We are doing the legal bit the day before with a humanist celebrant doing what we consider our real wedding. The only resistance I have had is from my 'catholic' stepmum who seems to think the 'real' wedding is when its legal. One thing I would say is try not to make your legal wedding ceremony a big deal. I feel like family members are already making a fuss out of ours and I don't want it to detract from our actual wedding day.

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  • A
    Beginner May 2016
    Adsco ·
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    Thank you all so much for the replies! It's really helped and made myself and my fiancé feel a bit more at ease with the decision. We just felt a little bit uncomfortable at the start with the idea of having a pre-wedding signing. But... today we have gone ahead and booked our venue and we are now so excited! We will be organising the registry office the week prior to the actual wedding day in the town hall which we will keep very low key. The only thing is my fiancé's mum wants to be there for that, which I don't really have a problem with just as long as she understands that it is not the wedding. There will be no photos, no suits and no flowers... nothing.

    Thanks again for your replies!

    Adam Smiley smile xx

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  • hjc87
    Beginner September 2015
    hjc87 ·
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    My friends did this and it worked really well for them. They actually did the legal bit in the morning with haribo rings, which they then ate!! They had a ceremony in an orchard in a field and were "married" by a friend of theirs. It was really beautiful and that was the most important bit to them, was definitely right for them too!

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  • alyj66
    VIP August 2014
    alyj66 ·
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    I did this and the ceremonies were a year apart, I was legally married last year but felt married this year after our blessing in church. You can now do what you want to do and so long as it suits you there is no right or wrong way of doing it. I really enjoyed both ceremonies as they were totally different and I enjoyed having 2 totally different dresses!

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  • FallBride2018
    Beginner October 2018
    FallBride2018 ·
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    I really like this idea, as I don't like the wording used by registrars and I'm getting married 43 miles from home so don't want to locate a church...I think I'd probably not tell any of my family or his about the legal bit being earlier as they'd cause a fuss....

    I'm going to pitch this to OH now Smiley smile

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  • Gabriel
    Beginner March 2025 North Carolina
    Gabriel ·
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    I think it’s a wonderful idea! Many couples choose to take care of the legal side in advance to ensure everything goes smoothly on the big day. This allows you to focus on the celebration without any added stress. If you're ever looking into any legal information related to arrest records in South Carolina, feel free to check out SC Police Arrests for reliable resources and updates.

    Best wishes for your wedding day! 🎉

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  • Amy
    Beginner August 2025 Shropshire
    Amy ·
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    I am looking for abit of reassurance...we have planned a wedding ceremony exactly how we want it & making it very personal to us. OH proposed on christmas day and wedding ceremony is end on August so lots to do. The registrar can't do the legal aspect until 3 weeld after the wedding day. We were fine about this as the day we have planned, saying our vows to each other infront of everyone we love is the most important thing. But my mom has just said to me today she doesn't agree with it and it's putting on a false front 😪 I am very close to my mom and this has really upset me. I feel that now when we have our ceremony it will be in the back of my head what she's said 😔😪
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  • Isabella_Harris
    Beginner January 2025 Idaho
    Isabella_Harris ·
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    Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Getting legally married before the big day is a perfectly normal thing to do, especially if your venue isn't licensed to hold weddings. This way, you can focus on celebrating your love with your family and friends on your wedding day without having to worry about the legalities.

    If you're looking for information on Canyon County marriage licenses and the legal process, you can visit the

    Canyon County Jail Roster. They have a wealth of information on their website that can help you get started.

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  • Ava_Johnson
    Beginner February 2025 Maryland
    Ava_Johnson ·
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    It’s not uncommon for couples to handle the legal side of marriage before the big celebration. It can help avoid any logistical stress on the wedding day. For example, some couples choose a private signing before the ceremony with just a few witnesses, making the actual celebration all about the love and joy of the day. If you're curious about how this process might be similar to how some handle official matters, like checking for records or getting details on legal matters, you might find useful information about the Weston County Jail inmates and related records online. It's always nice to have the process sorted in advance to ensure the big day is smooth!

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  • Amelia_Johnson
    Beginner March 2025 New York
    Amelia_Johnson ·
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    Hi Adam, I think it’s a great idea if you want to keep the focus on your celebration without the legal side being a distraction. Many couples do the legal paperwork beforehand, especially when the venue isn’t licensed for weddings. It's all about what makes your day special! If you’re looking for guidance or need information on any legal matters, you can check out LeFlore County Jail details for any specific documentation or procedures. Whatever you choose, I’m sure it will be an unforgettable day!

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  • Ali
    Savvy January 2025 Pakistan
    Ali ·
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    " Trolley coins offer everyday convenience, just like planning important milestones. Getting 'legally' married before the big day ensures everything runs smoothly when celebrations arrive. Handling paperwork early removes stress, allowing couples to focus on memorable moments. Proper preparation avoids last-minute surprises, ensuring a seamless experience. Whether for shopping or life events, smart choices make everything easier. Stay ahead by organizing essentials in advance for a hassle-free journey!"

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