Getting married abroad grooms parents can't attend

My brother got married in Africa. Our family were never actually invited as it was just assumed we wouldn't go. His wife's parents were running a hotel out there and that's where they got married. Our family was very effectively excluded. It broke my mum's heart at the time. There was no fall out or anything like that but it was quite a heartless thing to do. But it's what they wanted so hey ho. I'd say by all means do what you want to do, just think of other people's feelings that's all. I wouldn't say don't do what you want but just think about how to handle to minimise upset etc.

hth

x

I had a similar situation only it was my parents who couldn't afford to come to Barbados. Whilst we were happy for it to be just us, I knew it would upset my mum not to be there & so we compromised and are getting married abroad still but closer to home. However, we're just wanted to get married, share it with our family & as shallow as it sounds have a nice holiday.

My partners parents cannot attend our wedding either so we are skyping them during the ceremony so they can watch the whole thing. We have also agreed to save speeches and have a cake at our uk reception so they don't miss everything. In fact they are really chuffed we are having the wedding we want with them still being a part of it :-)

As someone who's sister got married abroad in Maritious when I was finishing my midwifery degree so I couldn't afford to go and as someone who is hoping to get married in Vegas I thought I would share my experiences.

when my sister said she was getting married abroad at first I was really upset. However once I realised that this is something that she had dreamed of since she was a little girl who was I to take that away from her and make her feel bad? She's my sister I love her regardless. I'm proud she had the wedding of her dreams. I went to her UK hen do and they had a reception in the UK afterwards which I was a 'bridesmaid' at. Looking back now (this was 3 years ago) did it really effect my life? Not really. She had the wedding of her dreams which she totally deserved! What's the point of having a UK wedding if that's not what you want? Especially if your saving up to pay for it. Family should understand it's not personal or meant to be excluding it's about choice and in the modern world things are changing and weddings are becoming much more personal to couples choices.

my partners family won't be attending our wedding not because we don't want them there but because of finances but guess what they love us they want us to be happy and understand that a UK wedding isn't our dream. After all it is just one day of the whole of our lives. We live away from our families so it's already acknowledged that certain things we won't be able to attend and vice versa. I think you have to think about you and what you ultimately want. It's not about being personal against certain family members it's about your vision for your day and you can organise things to keep your family involve in the UK perhaps a blessing which we are considering.

i hope this helps. Good luck with your wedding planning ?

I know that a lot of people may disagree with this but I've got to be honest, I think it's quite selfish (not saying you, just in general) to get married abroad or at a destination that they can't attend if they are wanting to unless there isn't a great relationship there in the first place. I think we get too focused on the attainment of a 'dream wedding', with sunny skies and an exotic location when really the main focus should be making a commitment to your life partner. If it is going to cause upset and you would want them to be there then why not look a bit closer to home?

I'm saying this as someone who has seen the upset that it has caused in families, when immediate family members have been unable to attend their wedding abroad due to finances/health.

Hi there,

Don't be upset and stick to your plan, its your big day and don't compromise! They will appreciate that you are thinking about them but I totally agree that you can chose a location that has wifi and you can have a laptop or ipad and transmit the entire ceremony so they can take part and then celebrate with them when you get home if they can't come. I have no idea where you are going but I live in Mexico and my daughter is getting married next year (she is having a wedding here and another one in the UK, that's why I'm on here to check things out) and I went to a wedding in May here where the aunt of the bride needed hospital treatment too. She even flew out with an oxygen tank and she doesn't speak a word of Spanish but it was no problem at all. The hospital staff and doctors here all speak English and they are awesome, its more like a hotel than a hospital. If your father in law is up for it, check out the hospitals where you're going (maybe call a travel insurance company, they should know) and let him decide. I saw my niece's wedding on skype because she got married in Hawaii and I couldn't go and it was great. They also had a videographer and afterwards they sent out copies of the video to those who couldn't attend. Don't stress too much about it and if its your dream, go for it, you only live once!

I think you need to way up how important it is to have family there and if you really want them to attend then get married in the UK and then maybe go and renew your vows at your overseas location

Robx