Getting married in secret

There's no rule anywhere that says you need the big celebration to follow the actual 'getting married' part (which is essentially just signing a piece of paper in front of witnesses - tick, married, sorted, done). The party bit afterwards is 100% optional. If you want to have it two years after you sign the marriage papers then that's absolutely your call and there's no reason why you can't do it that way if you feel that's best for your situation.

But I don't think you'll be able to keep being married a secret for all that time. Something is bound to slip out. Your friends and family would probably completely understand that you want to be married ASAP but that the party will have to wait a while...but they very likely won't appreciate being kept in the dark for two years. That would be a pretty big shock for them when you did finally come clean. At the very least you should probably tell your parents about your plan, and your reasons for wanting to do it this way.

Just one thought though...when you say you want to avoid the hassle and fuss, bear in mind there will still be hassle and fuss when you start planning the party two years later. You're not avoiding it, just delaying it a bit!

x

You could get married in secret, not change your name and if you can keep secrets who would know. However as said when it's time for the big party you still get all the stress and possibly more so as people will think it's your wedding and expect it to be a certain way.

An alternative is to say we want a low fuss wedding now with just immediate family and a meal in a restaurant afterwards.

We eloped in Lapland with just two friends as witnesses. We still had a suits and a wedding dress for me, and arrivall by reindeer sleigh and yes it felt like a proper wedding but without guests and bidesmaids etc but there was no Uk family party afterwards, no stress and no hassle. Anther option. Lqplqnd2015 also married in Lapland but her immediate family went with her. I think she would definitely say the stress was the uk party afterwards.

There is possibly pressure being the first wedding however it should be about what you want and the good thing is others will probably follow and I'm sure one of them will want what's considered the more traditional big wedding. It doesn't have to be you if it's not what you both want.

So. Your wedding day is the day you become "married"... You'll at this point be married and have had your marriage ceremony. I would feel disrespected if I was lied to like this. Your entitled to your personal ceremony, but you get one ceremony. Fair enough if for example your venue couldn't legally marry you so you pop down the registery office before to do the legal bit then have a blessing. If you don't get married, you have a celebration party, and you shouldn't register etc.