Gifts! Am I just a massive cheapskate?!

Its completely up to you but we gave presents to everyone who helped us out in some way.

3 bridesmaids

2 flower girls

1 best man

1 usher

my parents

MIL

Grandfather in law

My nan.

I feel a bit like you claire, cos we have had no help off anyone really, my mother hasnt even been to look at my dress yet!!

but me being me i feel as tho we cant leave anyone out it just isnt in my nature

Lol jojo

i hadnt thought of that for the MIL!!

may give mine a gag so dont have to hear her all day!!?

Lol!

I have issues with flowers in that they will be left in the venue all day, probably overnight if everyone stays (which they probably will because it's quite a distance). Plus, mil2b hates flowers because "they are messy and they die so are a waste of money" ?, so no can do! Having said that it is a nice idea in theory, so if I do cave in and get something for everyone just for the sake of it, I may ask my florist if she can knock something up since her flowers are artificial!

Hi There,

We got presents for the following:

Bestman

2 Ushers (they were a major part of the day and a very big help. I would consider gifts as they are the ones that will seat guests and generally look after any little issues).

Pageboy

Bridesmaids

both dads / mums

church readers

Every person is different but for me each and every one of the above helped to take the stress away from myself and my husband, and there were a few minor hiccups on the day which one of the ushers sorted out for us ?

Hello

well personally i dont think anyone will moan if you dont get everyone or anyone presents if they do they are certainly people you shouldnt care about if they moan....plus its your wedding you do what you want to do....we are just buying for bst man and moh and flowers for both parents and even they are going to be some lovely bouquet from tescos.

we havent got the money to buy for everyone and even if we did i wouldnt choose to get them for our ushers etc as i would prefer to put the extra money to something else in the wedding

this is all obviosuly my own opinion. xx

We're getting gidfts for everyone involved:

- 2 bridesmaids

- 1 flower girl

- 1 page boy

- 1 bestman

- 2 ushers

- both sets of parents (we've got each set a joint present as I would have felt bad giving the mum's something and not the dads so they have got a silver photo frame each and we'll put an i.o.u in there and will buy them a photo from the day.

- two of my friends will also get gifts as one is making our cake free of charge and the other is doing our flowers at cost price and taking two days off work to do them!

It's completely up to you who you get gifts for. They don't need to be huge though, just a little token to say thanks.

I have been thinking exactly the same thing! I know what I am getting my BMs (x3), and I expect we will buy for the best man and probably the 2 ushers and OHs brother who is being MC - but that said they are all going to be working hard during the day and definitely deserve some thanks.

I then don't know what to do about the parents - my relationship with my dad is shakey, so not overly inclined tio buy anything, they have had no involvement, but he may give a speech. My mum has been as involved as she can be given she is 300 miles away, and his mum is going to do some bits and pieces too, his dad helped massively with the budget....

And then there will be people doing readings in the ceremony too... I love gift buying so knowing me we will buy for them all.... better get thinking about what will be suitable!

We bought for 4 adult bridesmaids, my mum, 2 nans, MIL, and H took out all his ushers and best man for a curry after the wedding, we didnt bother with presents for our Flowergirls or Pageboy, we just couldn't afford it but we spent a bit more on them at Christmas.

It's up to the two of you who you buy gifts for but it's seems a bit unfair to buy gifts for bridesmaids and not the ushers.

A simple and not too expensive gift for parents could be a nice photo frame with the intention of them putting a wedding pic in it.

You don't have to give out the presents in front of everyone, such as during the speeches. Personally, I hate when people do that. It takes ages and takes some of the feeling and intimacy of the thank you out of it IMO.

Buy for who you wanna buy, but remember they're not taking part in your wedding for a free gift. They're doing it because they love you.

Agreed. We gave gifts in private, I guess if people assumed we didn't give any and thought less of us then that's their doing!!

We gave presents to our best man, bridesmaids and usherettes. Just little things, cost less than a tenner each although we did buy the dresses for our BMs and paid for the best man's suit hire. For the parents we gave nothing on the day but we paid for their wedding photo albums and I put a lot of time, love and effort into 'designing' them too (on Photobox) which personally I wouldn't have been able to do before the wedding as I wouldn't have been able to commit the time.

We are buying gifts for both my bridesmaids and my flowergirl, our son who is our paigeboy, BM, my mum, h2b's parents, my brother as he is driving me to our venue and giving me away, our friend who is a photographer and doing all our photos for us as a wedding present and h2b's nan as she is making our bridesmaids dresses for us.

We are also paying for h2b's dad's suit, my brothers suit and BM's suit, and my bridesmaids and flower girl will all have jewellery for the day which will be another gift, plus they will have their dresses too.

I just want to show the people who are helping us with our special day how grateful we are and also so they have something to keep as a reminder of the day. I won't be getting flowers for anyone as they don't last. I will be getting personalised gifts for everyone with their names and the date of the wedding on them.

I see where you're coming from, but traditionally ushers are given gifts. We had a lot of ushers and only a few of them really did anything for us but they all got the same gift. With the mums, if your MIL hasn't really been bothered or contributeed much, could you both give them the same gifts at the wedding (flowers?) then maybe later in the evening pull your mum to one side and give her something a little extra as a proper thank you? We didn't give any of our gifts out infront of others and do a whole presentation during speeches as we thought it would be a bit awkward, so we just said our thank yous that were very heartfelt and got each one of them on their own later to give them their gifts and a hug!