Skip to main content
ARE YOU A BUSINESS?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

R
Beginner May 2023 Inverness

Gifts for mothers?

R&C, 17 April, 2023 at 22:17 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 11
Saved
Reply
First time married so I don't know a lot about weddings.


A couple of months back MIL asked if I was getting her a corsage for the wedding. This was honestly news to me - I had never heard of this before! I quickly checked with my own mum and she said she didn't have one for my sister's wedding. My aunt (married 2019) got my granny a wall ornament, my mother (married 90s) got both mothers bunches of flowers. So consensus for our area (MIL lives away from us where fiance was brought up) is that it's not really a thing?
She said she would buy her own she didn't mind but now I'm thinking I should be getting her a present for the day? I asked my fiance what he thought and he said it's just an extra fee for us and that he doesn't understand why we'd buy her a present. But I've seen a lot of people say elsewhere it's a thing and that it makes the mums feel part of the day?
So I'm not sure? What did everyone else do?

11 replies

Latest activity by Alice, 16 May, 2023 at 10:36
  • K
    Beginner April 2023 Dumfries Galloway & Ayrshire
    Katie ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    I'm not buying my MIL a gift, its just another expense and something for them to carry around. I have written both my MIL and DIL a thank you card for raising such a good man and for all they have done to support us. Cheaper and more heartfelt.

    • Reply
  • H
    Expert November 2022 Lincolnshire
    Hayley ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    A thank you of some sort is required for those who have significantly helped with either planning or paying for the wedding. That doesn't have to be a physical gift and it doesn't have to be given on the day. It would depend on your relationship to that person.


    If your MIL hasn't contributed much to the wedding, or you have already thanked her appropriately, then you don't need to get her a gift.
    • Reply
  • R
    Beginner May 2023 Inverness
    R&C ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Yes, she hasn't helped financially or with planning at all. A lot will be due to her location, but my parents gave us some money. She has said she's got money for us as a wedding gift and we're welcome to it beforehand if we want, but my fiance wants to use it as spending money for the honeymoon.
    Thank you for the reply! My nail tech (really close with her) said she got something for her mum but that was because she helped a lot with planning etc.
    • Reply
  • R
    Beginner May 2023 Inverness
    R&C ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    This is very true! We're not bothering with wedding favours either for this reason. I think I would get a thank you for my parents as they gave us some money, but MIL (mainly due to location) hasn't helped with planning or financially.
    • Reply
  • S
    Rockstar July 2024 Cumbria
    Shay ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    You personally don’t have too at all. Come to a decision with your fiancé. My Mum is helping financially and my MIL is helping make lots of things and it’s nice quality time with the 4 of us doing things together so we are getting them a little something with a nice card and my fiancé will hand them out in his speech. Or me in my speech.
    • Reply
  • R
    Genius July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    It's usual only to buy gifts if someone has been actively involved in helping with the wedding. But I've been to a lot of weddings where the parents of the bride and groom have buttonholes, so as long as you are happy for them to wear one, it might be a nice gesture to pay for the buttonholes for the parents. Obviously, if this is going to cause financial strain then don't, but my OH buttonhole cost £7.50 when we got married, so a simple one for each parent shouldn't cost too much.

    • Reply
  • R
    Beginner May 2023 Inverness
    R&C ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message
    Yes this seems to be the case from other commenters! I'm getting my dad's buttonhole, and my fiancé's father unfortunately passed last year, but we would've got for him too. We're also paying for best man's suit and my bridesmaids outfits.
    I definitely think I'll get a thank you for my parents as they've gave us some money, and a thank you for MIL as she's taking our dogs during our honeymoon.
    • Reply
  • PhotographybyBillHaddon
    VIP January 3000 Leicestershire
    PhotographybyBillHaddon ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    If all 4 parents are the originals as -it - were then I see buttonholes and corsages for all 4 parents for about 90% of the weddings i shoot. It can get complicated when there are remarriages or partners but then I have seen cases where all 8 have them.

    Sometimes mums corsage will be on a handbag.

    • Reply
  • Georgia
    Curious February 2024 West Midlands
    Georgia ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Beautiful idea but I always think when gifting, what are they going to do with it afterwards?

    We're writing our In-Laws a letter each, so they can know how special they are, but probably won't be buying gifts. Hope that helps. X

    • Reply
  • A
    Savvy June 2023 Essex
    Alison ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    We will be getting corsages for both the brides mum and the grooms mum. Traditional in our family. Thought this was usual. We will be doing button holes for tge groom and groomsmen but not for all the guests

    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated June 2023 Essex
    Kirsty ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    For the corsage I think it's a nice gesture as it visually shows they are part of the wedding party. My dad and FH dad are wearing the same suit as the groomsmen, so it's instantly obvious they are part of the wedding. But that's not the case with the mums. So we have got them corsages in the same flowers as the button holes for the men.

    With gifts it's much more common to get the mums gifts if they have had a big role in the wedding. For example, both our mums have contributed financially to the wedding, so we feel it right to present them with thank you flower bouquets during the speeches.
    Obviously this is all up to you. There's not set standard and at the end of the day you should do what you want. It's your wedding!




    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

Mother of the Bride Shoe & Bag Sets: The Best Matching Accessories
Wedding Fashion Mother of the Bride Shoe & Bag Sets: The Best Matching... Looking for the perfect finishing touch to your mother-of-the-bride outfit? Look...
Boo Basket Ideas for Couples: How to Make the Perfect Seasonal Gift
Beauty and Wellbeing Boo Basket Ideas for Couples: How to Make the Perfect... A complete guide to boo baskets for couples, with creative ideas and inspiration...
Gifts for Women: 25 Gifts She’ll Love
Planning Essentials Gifts for Women: 25 Gifts She’ll Love Stylish gifts for your wife, sister and mum too? We’ve got you covered with our...
Read more articles

General groups

Show more

Hitched article topics