http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/men/article4790198.ece
----------------------------------------
GILES COREN
Once
upon a time, a man on the hunt for a wife would set great store by a
woman who could cook. But things have changed. And to be honest, I’ll
settle for a woman who can eat. A woman who doesn’t poke her food
around the plate and hide things under her knife and claim to have a
thousand intolerances and allergies. A woman who isn’t “off carbs”,
“not drinking this year”, “toying with the macrobiotic thing” or made
to “feel funny” by red wine. I don’t want to sound narrow-minded. If I
truly love her, then I guess we could always work the food thing
through. As long as she isn’t always “tired”. Men are either awake or
asleep, but women are always “exhausted”. What the hell is that? If
you’re tired, woman, go to bed.
Also, I want a woman who is
prepared to admit that what she wants from a man is a big *** and a
lot of money. I am fed up with women always claiming that what they
find most sexy is a sense of humour. Because it isn’t true. I know this
because I am hilarious. Way more funny than most of the slack-arsed,
car-obsessed, office wonk baldies you’ll meet in a wine bar on a Friday
night, and yet I practically never get laid. If it were true that women
are turned on by a man who makes them laugh, Woody Allen wouldn’t have
had to marry his own daughter.
As for a woman with a sense of
humour, that’s fine, as long as it simply means that she will laugh at
my jokes. Most women only laugh at their own jokes. Shut up. If you say
something funny, I’ll let you know. And don’t give me “career”. Only
women have “careers”. Men have jobs, to get money, and if we could stop
and have babies while someone else earned the loot, believe me, we
would. We don’t need a “career” to feel validated. We don’t want to
feel validated. We just want to feel boobs. As many as possible. And
then, at the last minute, quickly have babies and then die.
Post content has been hidden
To unblock this content, please click here
Related articles
Beauty and Wellbeing
Already Wedding Ready: I'm a Bald Woman With Alopecia
As part of the Hitched #AlreadyWeddingReady campaign, model Yasmin explains her...
Beauty and Wellbeing
Already Wedding Ready: I'm a Plus Size, Curvy Woman
Influencer Chloe explains her journey to finding love, practising self-love and...