Girl invited herself on stag do. I accidentally went nuts!

Nope - I'd be livid!

It would never happen though - no way H wanted a girl on his stag!

Hmm. This is a tough one (edit: no it isn't but just pondered my hen and inviting boys, just re-read and realised this wasn't actually the issue) I have a few good male friends and would love them to come on my hen, my CB (who doesn't know them) may have other ideas though as it isn't "tradition".

I think the issue here is that she's invited herself not been invited. What does your OH think?? Is it that she's invited herself or that he may have women on his stag? Personally, I would be miffed if someone invited themselves to my hen (man or woman) - well rather a bit more than miffed, they'd be a few bleeps involved!

I would go totally bonkers!! Well within your rights too as well.

Haha ive recently found out that one of my h2b female friends thinks its ok for her to go on the stag do 'because shes a mate'... i told him its not going to happen.. end of..

Its not that I dont like her or have any suspicions or anything like that, shes a really nice girl and i guess one of the lads. i just think that if a girl is there then its just another night out and not a stag do! Why do they feel like the have to get involved in everything, i wouldnt dream of having any men on my hen night because its meant to be a night for the girls, just like a stag do is a night for the men!

We havnt actually planned out nights out and are not for another year or so, so im sure it was just a passing comment and wont actually happen. I dont think h2b actually wants her there but when she asked he just said 'never thought of that, dont see why not' but hes not one to be mean to people and just say No lol

I went a bit volcanic so your reaction is totaly understandable haha xx

I'd expect my H to do the right thing and tell her NO, very firmly

Mind you, I know someone who invited his mistress on his stag do....?

Ha, did the wife to be know?! Surely you can't keep something like that a secret? One of the other guys on the stag was sure to blab?!

I think that what this girl is doing is unreasonable, and quite frankly, pathetic. It shouts desperation to me - desperation to be liked and thought of as "one of the lads". I hope your OH agrees with you and does the right thing.

I would be hoping that having a girl there might make them behave themselves a bit more!

One of my oldest friends is getting married next year and I'll be invited on the stag do with the proviso that I don't try to organise any of it ? I've hung out with that group of guys since we were all at school together - there used to be way more girls but they dropped out one by one and I'm the only one left. Whether or not I'll go on the stag do is however another thing, plus my fiancé will also be invited ... that'd just be weird! I'll probably also get an invite to the hen do but that'll definitely be in the States (his girl's American).

Sorry - just realised I've hijacked without making my point! I also don't see why the sexes can't mix but if she's not a good mate I'd definitely have an issue. The only reason I'll be invited to my mate's stag is that he's been a good mate of mine for about 15 years.

LOVING the reactions so far!

H2B just didn't really see a problem either way. Didn't care either way. Cared a LOT once he'd seen my reaction, and I pointed out how little the other wives would appreciate her presence, and that if girls are allowed I could think of a few more who should be invited! I asked whether he was invited on her hen do, he wasn't. I said I'd be happy for him not to have a stag night and just have a night out, if he wants both sexes there, but he's adamant he wants a stag do. So she'll not be going.

Honestly, I was ready to kill... mind you, within 10 minutes I was in a completely different frame of mind.

I think we might have had our first 'row' lol

No, they're not close. I've met her once for 45 seconds at her wedding reception, and they've never hung out outside of work. Same could be said of some of the male workfriends though, although with most there is *some* sort of bond/socialising.

If she's married, I'm sure her husband won't be keen on her going on a stag do with loads of lads, so it was probably just all talk!

In that case I would be livid as well. I could understand an equally balanced mix of male/female for a 'work stag' (we threw one of those for a colleague at my old job which was hilarious) but one girl in a load of blokes and not only that, but inviting herself? Bit weird. Glad she's not included!

WHAT?!! Cheeky mare!

One of my h2b's best friends is a girl but there is no way she is going on his stag do, she has said herself that as much as she would love to go she's not going to break tradition.

Wrong IMO!

Sounds like a right tag-a-long- do the boys actually want her there??

I also think wrong!

If you have only met her once for a few seconds (and I'm presuming therefore hardly know her and wont see her before the wedding) I would make a point at the wedding of saying 'oh hi! are you the one who invited yourself on his stag do but he didnt want you there?!' But then I'm just mean.............! ?

You haven't really said why it bothers you (although I am the first to admit there is not always good reason behind all my strops!)

Would you be bothered if the guys didn't all find her so attractive?!

I think I am uncomfortable that one of the (married) guys clearly has a massive crush on her, yes. That's something. Also that if the rules are being broken, it should be for someone important. I just didn't like her shoving herself in to it like that. If girls are invited en masse, I'll bloody go! We could have a big messy night out. It's either a stag night, or it's not, I guess. I did feel bad for the other women too. I trust my man (it's a feeling I'm enjoying after a crappy relationship) but not everyone has that, and I know a few of the WAGS would feel put out that it's not boys only.

I do see what you mean about the other WAGs, I would think it weird if my OH went on a stag do with girls, especially if I didn't know them.

Could you suggest that she doesn't come on the stag do but he has perhaps another night out where she can join in? When a good male friend at work got married a few years ago we threw him a work bachelor party and boys and girls went. Really it was just a good excuse for a night out and because we all wanted to wish him well. The boys refused to call it a stag party as girls were there so we settled on bachelor party as a compromise.

I had guys on my hen do and H had a girl at his stag.

I think the thing that would annoy me most about your situation is the fact that she invited herself which is just rude, especially to an event which is traditionally all male.

at least your OH knows how you feel and is going to put a stop to it now.

His best mate works in the same organisation, he got married 2 months ago and they had a team day where they all got together directly from work (lunchtime onwards) and went a bit crazy, took loads of photos etc. There was drinking and silliness. I know they'll be doing that at some point to, for the ones who can't make/afford the stag do or don't want to etc, and that's even nicer for them as it'll be 100% work folk, no outsiders, he'll love it! So I don't think she'll be excluded, though she feels she's missing out, obviously. I can see her point too, but it's just how it goes.

For example, H2B has invited me on his works Xmas do, but AFAIK there are no other non-work people going, so as much as I'd LOVE it, and they'd make me feel welcome, out of respect for them I won't be going. Let them do their work thing, in-jokes etc.

When my best boy friend got married, he apologised for not inviting me on his stag. I would never have dreamed of going anyway, even with an invitation. We had a mini-stag do with dinner and drinks instead!

She does sound like a bit of a desperate hanger-oner. Like some of the others have said, she might be all talk and not actually go in the end.

Having said that, if I was in your situation I don't think I'd be that bothered by it. You've said you trust your OH. If the wives and girlfriends of the others attending can't say the same then it's a shame but it's not really your problem to worry about.

Agree with this.

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest that she's female. The guest list was entirely up to H he could have invited anyone he wanted. Really don't understand why it's a problem.

I'd be annoyed on H's behalf that she'd invited herself though.

It sounds like she just wants male attention and she can't think of any way except no other women being there. How pathetic!

To me a 'stag night' is a groom going out with friends before a wedding, so nothing stopping girls going but I agree he should either have girls inc ones he's closer to or not have them.

My OH best friend is a girl and she was insisting she was going on his stag but oh said no to her !!! although i trust him 100% i wouldnt be happy them sharing a room for three night in magaluf!

i wouldnt be happy at all!

Really? As long as they weren't sharing a bed I don't think it'd bother me as long as I knew the girl and trusted her as well.

Most of my friends are male but it turns out I'm way more traditional than I thought and I'll be having a girls only hen do. I go out with my male friends all the time anyway and it'd just end up being a normal night out if they were there.

My OH's sister who happens to be a bridesmaid repeatedly tried to invite herself to his stag do despite him telling her no several times and despite me being stood next to him at the time. For some reason my hen do clearly isn't good enough for her. This is why I prefer the company of men, women can be a pain in the arse! Most of the women I know anyway. Maybe I will invite men on my hen do after all!

Yeah, I'd be annoyed that she'd invited herself, but not fussed about the presence of a girl on a stag night. Even regarding the self-inviting, it's not really your problem to get annoyed about - it's your OH's stag do and if he doesn't want her he can tell her himself.

OH had a couple of girls (including his ex-gf) on his stag night, and I really wasn't fussed. In fact, it meant they were less likely to go to a strip club, so that's a win from my point of view!

Now I wish I'd thought of that and invited girls for him, could have saved us a whole lot of money. ?

I went on my male friends stag do.... I didn't invite myself though ! Had an amazing time & I was the only girl there, and his fiance/wife didn't mind. Think it is the fact that he is not good friends with her and the fact he did not invite her that is the problem!

Most of my good friends are male, and I am panicking at the thought of a hen do. The most I've agreed to is a bit of afternoon tea with my future in-laws and sisters. I really don't want one.

I keep asking OH if I can come on his stag night, since most of my favourite people will be there! Haha, he informs me he will be going to strip clubs etc so NO! And he wants to be 'traditional'.

My argument back to him is that he didn't want to be so traditional when it came to being virgins when we got married!

Haha, no really, I would rather have no hen or stag do's since hanging out with a bunch of women only isn't my thing. But I get why you;d be a bit peeved. Let your OH deal with it, I guess it's really up to him.

Perhaps I might have my own *stag night* with all of my male friends but not OH. And I'll wear a stick-on moustache or something

Pre children, 90% of my friends were male. I've been on three stag dos. Really, what's the problem?

Stag do is a celebration for the groom to be with his friends. Does it matter if they are male or female?

See above