Granny wants to stay with me the night before the wedding!

Oh wow this sounds really tough. Has she given a reason why she has to be with you at all times? As I just...What? I can't understand why she thinks this is okay?

I think this seems like one of those times where you can use 'reasons are for reasonable people', and your gran doesn't see very reasonable. I don't think you can suddenly make your gran see the light and be a nice person, so focus on keeping her out your house! I'd start with a casual "Oh Gran, word has got to me that you think you're staying at my house the night before the wedding. I thought I'd been clear that I would be too busy to be a good host, which is why you're staying at parents AirBNB." This removes and possible confusion or doubt, and gives her one last chance to gracefully resolve the situation. I imagine that won't stop it tho. At that point when she starts with the "Oh but I have to stay with you because FAAAAMILYY", "Having you stay over doesn't work for me + {subject change}. Or "But why are you sooooo selfish" "I'm saddened you think that about me, anyway {subject change - have you tried the grey stuff?}. Other good things to say are "Wow, that's not a nice thing to say/I'm sorry you feel that way/I have to go now". The key is being flat and consistent, she will argue with every reason you give, so don't give reasons, and limit how much time you talk to her.

Do you have any family/friends you can have help out? My MoH was amazing and if I was talking to Ancient Relative she would sweep in with "Oh Sorry, Bacchant has to go check on the cake/collect some chicken wings/go stand over here and talk to someone who is not you." She was also excellent at backing me up on decisions, and would loudly and firmly say "Bacchant really likes Thing, I like Thing, please stop saying Thing is hideous/not traditional/not what you want".

Also for the collection from the airport, could you book her a taxi to collect her? ie someone with a placard to meet her? I'd book it now, then then a few days before tell her you have super urgent wedding meeting with a supplier/nail appointment/hot bath so can't pick her up, but a taxi will collect her. She may be upset/hurt/etc and it may be the worst insult ever, but hold fast. The short answer is you are too busy to collect her (It may be that you're too busy having a bath, but she doesn't need to know that). Just keep going like a broken record!

No offence here but I am probably going to say something you don't like.

You sound like a real bridezilla. This is your Gran she is 80 regardless of how much you dislike her treat her with some respect. She has been around a long time, is allowed to be stubborn and set in her ways. You will be the same at her age. And really how much time do you spend with her anyway? If she is travelling in, it doesn't sound like you spend much time with her.

If she wants to stay with you maybe make a night of it at the venue and have your mum, Gran and bridesmaid there. It would make a lovely evening with the ladies. It would also be something your Gran would appreciate.

Spend the time with your Gran once she is gone you will realise and miss all the wonderful opportunities you could have shared. Stop being a selfish bridezilla and grow up!

I don't think you're being a bridezilla at all! I don't think you're being unreasonable to not want her to stay with you the night before the wedding - i'm sure you have lots of friends and family that all want to spend time with you and as important as your granny is to you she might need to realise that it isn't all about what she wants as i'm sure you'd be pulled in many different directions is you tried to please everyone the day before your wedding.

Have your parents spoken to her at all? If this was may situation. i'd be asking my mum and dad to have a word just to say that you will be really busy and have lots to do so she will be staying with them the night before and arrangement have already been made.

I hope you manage to sort this one out

As above - arrangements have been made by you, and it's up to everyone including your granny to go with the arrangements; it's your damn wedding. From what you say about her turning on the waterworks etc, there may be a history of her being a little manipulative? Anyway, it's not bridezilla in any way shape or form to have a plan, and stick to it, especially when your plan is totally reasonable and obvious - go spend evening with her son. I'd agree that you should ask your parents to take over and discuss it with her (aka tell her what's been planned!), and while you might go and pick her up from the airport, head straight for that airbnb after and then gracefully retire from the field of battle!

Good luck! :-)

Can you get extra room at the hotel and ask if there is anyone that will help support you looking after your granny so your granny feels like she is with you but someone else - your bridesmaid or parent for instance can see to everything she needs.

Personally I would give my right arm to be in this situation as I don't have my gran with me anymore and we are getting married in October, I do understand your stress however and you should speak to your parents about this as they need to step in as you don't need any more pressure, maybe spend the evening with your granny then depart with your bridesmaid to get sorted at the hotel. Also our master of ceremony's is fabulous - have you spoken to yours - they will be able to ensure granny feels extra special without you having to worry about who is looking after her.

I hope both you and your granny have a stress free time, and remember she just wants to be with you because she loves you so much x