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Beginner March 2025 Berkshire

Guest list

Katie, 10 January 2022 at 02:00 Posted on Planning 0 8
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So me and my partner have been discussing more and more about our guest list.
I have people I want there for the day but not at the actual ceremony. Where we are getting married is very small and can only fit a very small amount of people.
This would mean 3 guest lists I suppose, 1 for the ceremony, reception and evening, 1 for the reception and evening and 1 for just evening. Is this really odd? How would I do this without offending people?

8 replies

Latest activity by RomanticGreenStationery27135, 17 January 2022 at 13:56
  • Charlotte
    Super April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    If you have a small ceremony space I would say keep your meal list to that number. I think it would be a bit odd to get an invite to a meal when I am not attending the ceremony personally Not sure on your times but could you maybe have a small ceremony and meal and then have your evening start from 5 or 6 so you can then invite all the others to that and have more time with people. It is so hard to cut the lists down, but remember it is your day and you should do what you want, not aim to please others. An invite to a wedding is a gift and should not be an expectation, and no one should be offended by your decision on your day.

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  • Jane
    Dedicated June 2022 Bristol
    Jane ·
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    Is there anyway you could stream your service? I went to a wedding once where the ceremony took place in a tiny chapel so they had close family there and everyone else was in other room watching a live stream. That way people are still there for it all and I’m sure they will understand not being in the same room if it is purely for physical space reasons.
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  • S
    Beginner September 2023 East London
    Sam ·
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    Three lists feels a bit unusual can you not just do wedding and evening x
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  • Chloe
    Dedicated July 2023 Cornwall
    Chloe Online ·
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    I think three lists is totally fine! Alternatively, how many more people are you planning on inviting to just the evening - could it be that you have your small ceremony but then all your other guests are invited to everything meal onwards? That way it's only two lists and keeps it a bit simpler for you.

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  • A
    Beginner November 2022 Berkshire
    Alice ·
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    I'm doing something similar. I have a tight ceremony space but plenty of space for the wedding breakfast. I'm saying to people who I know either understand or aren't that fussed about the actual ceremony if they wouldn't mind. Then we can have just a few more people at the wedding breakfast.
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  • H
    Dedicated May 2022
    HappyGoldBridesmaid18836 ·
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    I think the streaming idea sounds like a good one if that is possible to set up. Although I don’t think having 3 lists will be a huge issue as long as your reception guests are aware of the reason they can’t come to the ceremony.
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  • L
    Beginner July 2023 Greater Manchester
    Lisa ·
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    What would you like to do? It’s your day after all, and people should want to celebrate however you decide to celebrate it, if they love you.


    Depending on your timings, the ceremony itself is only 30-40 mins of a 8hr day after all (plus transport time if it’s not on site), so just explain to those not at the ceremony that they are invited from drinks reception/ wedding breakfast (depending what you have).
    Are you doing physical invites? Or going through a wedding website?
    Either way, I’d put something along the lines of: We’d love to have you join us on our special day. Our ceremony venue is very small so please join us straight after for drinks, feasting and partying. - If you have a website you can more obviously highlight this times is all I was thinking.


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  • R
    Super July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    If you are only having a handful of people to witness your actual wedding ceremony, then I would just invite them verbally. Then issue your invitations to a 'wedding breakfast for' or 'celebration of the marriage of' to everyone else.

    It's going to get very complicated having three different invites, and since the numbers are so small for the ceremony, it's not really necessary.

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