Guest list - colleagues and plus-ones

I think the only solution is to be consistent. For plus ones (and children) make a rule and stick to it. For our first round of invitations, I am not inviting plus ones. Some people will be invited with their partner but that is because I know them both - e.g. my uncle's wife, or the couple where I went to school with both of them. But, although I said be consistent (!), there are two exceptions we have had to concede:

• We have a lot of guests travelling from abroad, who will want to make it a proper holiday to the UK with their partner. In that case, they can both come.
• If we are inviting someone who does not know any one else at the wedding, they can bring someone to keep them company.

It is a bit harsh, and it means even my cousins cannot bring their girlfriends etc. But I would rather spend the money on a guest I want to see, rather than a person I have met once or twice before.

I agree with you on not inviting someone if you are not giving them any food.

Don't worry - wedding guest lists are a nightmare, and anyone who has been involved in planning one will understand!

We're planning on inviting some colleagues though will invite them closer to the time as we are both considering job hunting and decided that it may be awkward to end up with ex colleagues to the wedding. Even so, we won't be inviting plus ones for them as like you say, I've never met them and I figure that they will all know each other.

As for other guests, we're inviting couples (such as cousins who are married or engaged) but we aren't specifically "giving" plus ones to everyone.

Our guest list is rather small by wedding standards, I think w're looking at 70 if everyone invited can come.

I'd even invite everyone with plus one or all without to avoid upsetting anyone and to be consistent, which is what people respect. I'm sure your colleagues will understand if you decide to go for no plus one.

Ignoring my personal opinions because it's your wedding, and your decision, I would offer a plus 1 to those that are in serious relationships because I would be upset if I was invited to a wedding without my OH and I'd probably decline the invitation if I was to go alone.

Personally though I wouldn't invite work colleagues at all. I'll have been at my job 2 and half years when we get married and my OH will have been at his job nearly 7 years and we're not inviting colleagues from either job. Having said that though we don't socialise with our colleagues outside of work except for the christmas do, if you socialise with your colleagues outside of work then they're more friends you met through work....

I've been invited to a colleagues wedding without a plus 1 and wasn't offended at all. We kind of had a work group invitation emailed to us individually but with our names on and had a 'work' table. We all knew each other so weren't sat with strangers and partners are never invited on works events so nobody minded. Our general feeling was that if our partners were there you would feel like you had to look after them as they wouldn't know anyone else.