Guest list family problems....Please help me!!!!!!!!!!!

We had the same problem our numbers were 180 for the day, but now the rsvps are in and its 124 are yes's, remember not everyone will say yes.

Are you inviting more people in the evening?

Can you not have aunts and uncles during the day and cousins in the evening?

Thankyou, I hadn't thought of that. But what if ebryone does come? Can i leave their invites til ive had everyone elses rsvps?? lol

what is it with Dad's having huge families!?? Aw well I'v a few cousins in Canada, who arent coming so that was them out. I also have some cousins who live a couple of hours away and I wasn't at any of their weddings, so again ppl ruled out. However My Dad's sister has 9 kids...most married or have a partner (those they change quite a bit), and V jealous of eachother! Well my mum and I decided that I would just invite the girls to the wedding with their hubbies. And if their BF isn't official, he aint comin!! So that cut things down to 8 People! Sorted! I have invited all the aunts and uncles tho!

I suggest you could do similar...what about inviting the uncles and aunts just. if there are 1 or 2 cousins you get on with...well you could invite them. But the ones you dont know...dont bother!!

I would sit down with your dad, shwo him your guests list and possibly where they come from, eg our friends, my work collegue, OH sister, OH aunt etc) so that he can see you are not being unreasonable saying he can have 20 people. Hopefully he will see that he can not have everyone there.

My OH has a massive family and we have turned fround and blatantly said that loads of them cant come, we are sorry but this is the wedding we want so tough. My Oh has 2 cousins he would like to come (out of 4) and both of them have kids, he is goign to phone both of them adn ask if they woudl like to come and explain that numbers are tight and if they come they come without their kids or not at all.

Good luck, hope it doesnt stress you out too much

So difficult, really feel for you and your Dad - cos I know it's hard for him with family politics and all that jazz! But ultimately, it is your day - wish more people would remember that when they get funny about not being invited!

I have a big family on my mum's side with 40 cousins!! They are all older than me and when they got married started a sort of wedding policy because it is such a big brood, that when getting married, all aunts and uncles are invited but cousins aren't as it just isn't poss to accommodate them. Everyone has accepted it as cousins aren't usually that bothered - it tends to be the aunts and uncles that get offended - don't know if this is case - that they are the ones that would take issue with your Dad? (this is in my family anyway!) It works really well, then if there is a cousin or 2 that the bride is close to, they will get invited and everyone understands cos they're friends as well as cousins.

So we've done that and just invited 2 cousins out of the 40 and not had any complaints so far.... Even then though people can be cheeky - like my aunt never brings her husband (he just isn't interested in weddings!) and the other day her daugher - so my cousin - apparently said 'well I could come as your guest...' Er, no you can't! It's not a free for all, and my lovely mummy is a widow and has never tried to get me an invite to all of their weddings - some people are so cheeky!

Sorry for ramble but feel your pain! hope you get sorted x

I've got a similar problem, as we've got quite a big family. I've invited aunties and uncles to the day, then cousins and their partners and children to the evening. With a couple of exceptions, 3 cousins will be there during the day as 2 live a few hours away and aren't old enough to make their own way (13 & 17) and the other is helping my uncle do the photography.

This however hasn't been broken to my Nanna yet so no doubt she'll kick up a stink when she finds out!! x

Hi

I had a similar thing, I have a very big family, we had already decided we didnt want anymore than 75 in the day. We started doing our list and we included my H2b's family, my family and the relatives on my mums side and our friends that had to be there and then it dawned on me that I hadnt invited any family from my dads side....oops but i had invited our parents friends...

So what I have done is just invited family from my dads side to the evening. (there is only 10 of them)

I have explained to my parents that I obviously only had a certain amount of numbers and that i had to work out when doing the day guests who i would be really embarrassed to tell that they wasnt coming to the day. I also said that as i dont see his family very much by having them in the day it would mean that i couldnt have people to the day that i acutually wanted to be there out of choice rather than repsonsibility.

i do feel slightly bad but my venue is costing me a fortune and i have got to do what is right for me and h2b.

So in a nutshell forget about pleasing everyone and just please yourselves and invite the people that you want or would be too embarrassed not too!!!

lol

Martyne xx

Hi kj82,

My name is Lynn Enright and I'm writing a newspaper article on the subject of drawing up a guest list and the family politics that come in to play when planning a wedding. I'd love to hear how you got on in the end - both positive and negative. You can email me on ***********@*******.***.

Thanks,

Lynn

Ive put my foot down and have only invited 1 auntie and 3 cousins from my mums side of the family as there the only ones i see. im not inviting any more as i never see them. They will not be happy but why invite them if i haven't seen them for like 5 years!!!

Argh, I hate bumped old threads!

Me too ?

My word, SamSam, 3 DAYS?! That's crazy, eeeeekk!