Guest list nightmare

I've got a big family on my mums side with over 20 cousins. I've only invited four of them to the day do, the ones I was closest to growing up. In some cases this has meant inviting a brother but not a sister etc. Tough!

Also, mu aunty is getting married in September. She's invited me but not my brothers. I don't think they're that bothered to be honest!

We don't have much family at all. We're having an intimate (tiny) wedding with 20 day guests & that's including us & our son. There's relatives we barely know & hardly see, they're all being invited to the evening do. Strictly immediate family & a few close friends. If the rest don't like it they can just not come to the reception. No point in both spending money on people you barely know and having them there for daytime when you barely see them. Don't worry about offending people, I did to begin with and now I just don't care. It's your day so do what you both want and that's it.

Welcome to hitched btw

I had a cousin that got married and didn't invite me but invited 2 of my 3 sisters. My uninvited sister and I were quite upset and I don't want to put anyone out, the idea of running away is becoming very appealing.

For this reason we're not inviting any cousins etc and leaving out brothers and sisters. Either a whole family or none of them, in our case they're all going to the reception as its better for as than them all coming to meals etc. They can like it or lump it.

Thanks A local hotel does a great package for the couple http://www.grandeastbourne.com/second-weddings very tempted by this as would be a great excuse to have very minimal guests. Have enquired about an evening do for extra family and friends

Yeah you should go for something like that then
As I say ours will be a church wedding, moving onto our venue for meals upstairs then head downstairs and by 7pm/7:30pm the evening guests will be arriving.
Just don't want any hassle with invites etc so it was either keep it minimal or invite everyone and we weren't prepared to please everyone (and pay for them) so small wedding it is, like I say don't have a huge family anyway and we're quite shy people so the day will suit us perfectly

I don't feel particularly bad because the ones I've invited are the ones I'm close to and speak to regularly. The others I see occasionally but most are a lot older or younger than me.

Thanks for your replies ladies, hope it will all come together. Good luck to both of you for your big days

And you. I hope you work it out

No probs, you too You should stick around hitched. Get some of your plans and flashes up Good bunch of people, I love it !

I don't know if this will be helpful or not, but will answer anyway! My personal approach to this is, it is YOUR day, and you have to invite whoever you choose. I fully understand that is easier said than done but a lot of people understand that numbers are limited at weddings and it is never going to be possible to please everyone.

We have a similar situation in that my OH's family is quite extended. His cousins are closer in age to his mum (due to an age gap between her and her brothers) - so they have children - three boys and a girl in their 20s, plus a girl who will be 11 when we marry and will be a bridesmaid. We wanted to draw the line at cousins (apart from the 11 year old bridesmaid), but we think the 20-something girl would like to come (being a girly girl she loves a good wedding). So we now have a situation where we will be inviting her, but not her brother and her two cousins. OH is going to speak to their mothers to explain our reasoning - we are crossing our fingers that three 20-something boys won't be too upset about missing the actual wedding!!

Aggh sorry just realised this may not be at all helpful - just wanted to empathise and let you know you're definitely not the only one!! Good luck deciding ?

We have also had this stress mainly on my fiances side, he has family all over the world, and we have just had to be strict. Its your day, the venue will have max numbers and you have not to even worry what guests will think. I had a stress though as some of my friends at work were invited to the day and others to the evening. I think they all expected day invites as I have been talking about the wedding at work. Oh well, I get on better with some than others. You have to be ruthless even if its out of character. Just because a group of people ie cousins or nieces etc are close to each other doesnt mean you're close to all of them so you're bound to want some there and not others. Go for it, invite who you want.