Savvy September 2023 Lincolnshire
FH and I are getting married next September on a Thursday and have recently sent out save the dates to give people plenty of time to organise any accommodation/child care if they need it and if they can come of course.
We have invited a couple of his parents friends who I have met a few times and are very lovely people and he spent a lot of time with them growing up. Yesterday FH was asked by FMIL why he hasn’t invited the mother of this friend (she is 96!). Now he did spend time with her also whilst growing up but as I’m sure everyone here gets, weddings are expensive and we’ve had to cut down on numbers to try not to spend a small fortune. I have taken away plus ones from a few of my guests including my sister who is bridesmaid to try to keep number as close to 70 as possible.
A little bit of back story - FH has 45 daytime guests and I have 35 as I made some of my guests evening guests for a few reasons (firstly cost but also because I couldn’t invite one without inviting all 8 and that made our numbers too high). We had a heated debate let’s say 😅 a month or so ago about inviting his cousins - aunties and uncles are invited on both sides but no cousins on my side. Nothing personal to them but we don’t ever see or speak to them plus that would mean 16 extra guests. The same for his cousins really (although there are only 8 of them) but he’s been to their weddings so felt obliged to invite them and after many disagreements we sent save the dates to them. There was also pressure from FMIL to invite them.
I just feel like first the cousins and now this and when will it end?! It’s not supposed to be a people pleasing exercise and FMIL is the first one to say ‘do what you both want’ but then comes out with this yesterday! I had said previously that as it’s quite a way for her to travel we could go and see her the weekend after the wedding but that fell on deaf ears. There’s every likelihood we will get some no’s anyway once we send invites out at which point then of course we could invite her but it’s just difficult at this point in time.
I know if I speak to my parents they will both say don’t give in if you’re both just being guilt tripped so I just wanted an unbiased opinion or two! Thanks ☺️
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