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Lianne
Beginner August 2026 West Yorkshire

Guests and Plus Ones.

Lianne, 27 August, 2024 at 08:42 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 1 6
Hi all, I’m having a bit of a dilemma with the whole plus one situation. I’m wondering what the etiquette is when it comes to having guests plus ones only show up for the evening? For example, if I have a guest who’s part of the bridal party or groomsmen could I invite their plus ones just to the evening to try and cut numbers for the ceremony and breakfast or could that cause some issues?

6 replies

Latest activity by Lianne, 4 September, 2024 at 19:34
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    If your bridal party members are single, then I think it's fine only to give them a plus one for the evening - during the earlier part of the day, they are unlikely to be able to spend much time with their plus one anyway, so the evening reception is the only part of the day where they will have much time to spend with their date - plus, it could be awkward for the 'plus one' during the earlier part of the day, especially if their date is the only person they know!

    If you are talking about spouses, fiance/fiancees or boyfriends/girlfriends, then they are not plus ones but partners. It could feel quite rude not to invite them to the whole day, so I would at least give the option. In this case, the best thing to do is probably to speak individually with those members of the bridal party concerned, and ask them if their partners would prefer to come to the whole day or just the evening. If they are local and/or don't know many other people at the wedding, they'll probably much prefer just to come to the evening, but if the wedding is further away and/or they know a lot of people, they might prefer to come to the whole day.

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  • Lianne
    Beginner August 2026 West Yorkshire
    Lianne ·
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    See this is the debate I was having haha. I was initially thinking that the people who I know have a boyfriend/girlfriend but may find it awkward to be at the day if they’re related to my bridal party and don’t know anyone else, like we haven’t even met them. A similar situation with some groomsmen too so i thought it would be best to give the evening option for them. I just don’t want to cause upset with the selected potential bridal party/groomsmen that have been long term/engaged etc. It’s such a conflict!
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  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    Presumably, the partners you haven't met are fairly recent ones? If so, you could probably get away with only inviting them for the evening.

    As I said, I think your best bet is to have a direct conversation with each member of your bridal party before you issue the invites. For those who are in new relationships and whose partners don't know anyone else - including you! - I would explain that you only want people you have actually met at your wedding ceremony and so you hope they don't mind if their boyfriend/girlfriend only comes to the evening - and the same explanation for any single person to whom you are offering a 'plus one'. For those in longer-term relationships, then I would ask them if their partner would prefer to come to the whole day or just the evening. That way, you avoid upsetting anyone by not inviting their long-term partner (which would be rude) but also means only the partners who really want to be there accept, instead of having people turning up for the ceremony out of a sense of obligation when they would much rather have just come to the evening.

    Whatever you decide, please don't refer to partners as 'plus ones'! A 'plus one' is technically an unnamed and unknown guest, added to the guest list so that single guests can invite whoever they want as a companion - a 'plus one' doesn't even have to be a date, it could be a sibling, parent, friend... Referring to a partner as a 'plus one' can come across as being very dismissive of the partnership, implying that you don't take it seriously or believe it will last!

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  • Lianne
    Beginner August 2026 West Yorkshire
    Lianne ·
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    Very good point thankyou
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  • Hannah
    Curious September 2025 Durham
    Hannah ·
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    I get this! What we've done is, if we know their name (they're a partner, not just bringing a person they can find in time haha) they're invited. For the most part every friend is bringing their partner, only one or two exceptions. For those who are single if by the time the wedding gets close they are no longer single, we'll just add them to the list :-)

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  • Lianne
    Beginner August 2026 West Yorkshire
    Lianne ·
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    That’s what we’re thinking to do now x
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