Hand fasting?

Do you mean the ribbons attached to the bride and groom through the ceremony which then tie a knot when pulled through?

If so we have been to quite a few wedding with it in (all have been in Scotland not sure if it's more a scottish thing or not), tends to be a humanist ceremony thing, the registrars generally can discuss it with you, you chose the ribbons/tartan.

Yes that's what I mean, but we will be having it separate from the main ceremony as we want the fasting outdoors.

I went to one a few years ago!

First thing they found was that handfasting is generally done outdoors - so you need to find a venue with an outdoor space.

Secondly a general registrar won't really know the ceremony so you will want to find an 'independent civil celebrant'. Asking on pagan and humanist forums is a good place to start - generally these are the people that are going to know the people you want to know.

Thirdly do some research - or maybe that should be firstly - as they do vary quite a bit. From the pagan tradition of getting nekkid and hopping over a broom, to the now quite common joining by cords there is a lot of variety out there! Google is your friend.

The one I went to had a rainbow theme, and was held in a forest - unfortunately making it a religious NOT legal ceremony. They had already been 'married' in the registry office by the registrar because of this. As part of the ceremony we wrote message of love and support on ribbons and tied them to the trees so our love would grow with them. I think that was my favourite bit!

Good luck! And I bet it will be beautiful.

We're having one as part of our Humanist ceremony. We've got a reading which is going to be read as the ribbons are tied and everyone is going to be invited to join in with the ribbon winding, overseen by our celebrant.

I have shot a few and they are all different. Scottish_Sarah mentioned all the ones she had attended had been in Scotland. That might be because it can be a legal marriage there. I had a London couple get married via a Humanist ceremony in the Grooms Parents garden in Scotland because it wasn't legal to do so anywhere else in the UK!

I then had another couple who had the legal bit in a Medieval Church and then the Hand fasting back at their reception venue. It was meant to be on a beach but it was too windy on the day.

The choices are endless.

Me!

I am wearing a handfasting dress instead of a wedding dress. We are doing the legal wedding first, then we are having our handfasting ceremony as part of the evening reception. We have the ribbon and are jumping the broom, and our friend is doing the ceremony. We're going to get the guests to stand in a circle while we do the ceremony.

Thanks for all the replies, it's all useful stuff.

Crazy Rat Lady - are you doing it outside, and what will you do if it rains? We just had the realisation yesterday that all our guests would get wet! May be able to rig up some gazebos I suppose. There is a nice outside space we could use so that's not an issue. We were even thinking of asking the best man to do the reading and tying of cord/ribbon as we don't know anyone who does handfasting and I don't know if I want a stranger doing it?

I don't live in Scotland and as far as I know it's not 'usual' to incorporate a handfasting in a civil ceremony in England. They are very against anything religious. We are not religious or Pagan, we just feel it's the right thing for us as it's an ancient tradition and because of our love of the outdoors. I'd absolutely love to hear from anyone else in a similar situation, or maybe someone who had/ is having a 'toned down' Pagan handfasting?

We're having a hand fasting indoors as part of our civil ceremony, and performed by our registrar!

We're having a hand fasting indoors as part of our civil ceremony, and performed by our registrar!

I stand corrected then! I'm unsure about doing that though as we have our hearts set on doing it outside.

If it isn't raining it will be done outside, our reception is at a golf club so there are plenty of woody bits to stand in. If it rains then we will just do it in the room on the dancefloor. I am swaying towards indoors anyway as herding 80 people away from the bar to outside might be difficult!

Our Usher is doing the ceremony and the two bridesmaids are tying the ribbon, we wanted people we know too and as it is not a legal ceremony it doesn't matter.

There are various elements to Handfasting and you can have some or all. William and Kate had the "tying the knot " element in their Church service, you can incorporate jumping the broomstick indoors or out.

A full Handfasting ceremony is usually done outside as it is spiritual and relates to the elements in nature. Earth, wind, fire and water.

A registrar is unlikely to offer this ceremony and therefore would need to be held after the wedding ceremony and when the registrar has left. If you use an Independent celebrant like myself ( or a Humanist) then although we can't do the legal aspect, some of us can do a full or partial Handfasting personalised to you.

for more info please feel free to email me at ******************@*****.*** and I can help you find someone in your area if you need. I'm also happy to answer as many questions as you have. My Facebook page is www.fb.com/simplyceremoniesuk

kind regards

Karina

My brother-in-law and his wife had a pagan wedding. They've not got legally married, but they had the pagan ceremony in a clearing in the woods, then a reception in a pub garden by a meadow.

They looked into hiring a celebrant, but decided to ask my sister-in-law to do it instead, so she read the script that they'd chosen from the internet and she did the hand tying. So the ceremony itself cost them nothing - no venue fees or registrar to pay.