Has anyone else ever made MAJOR changes to their wedding plans and lost deposits?

Hi heavenly_elephant! I say move on and don't look back, we all make mistakes but it's better to realise in good time than have an expensive wedding that you don't enjoy! You might also have ended up spending a lot more than you have budgeted, to ensure the wedding lived up to the venue?! In the long term I'm sure we can all waste £1,500 on booze or takeaways or clothes in the sales that we never wear!

I hope that helps, sounds you like you definitely made the right decision! Helen x

Don't worry about it too much. So many people have dress wobbles and spend a lot of money changing, a venue wobble is understandable. And if it will save you money in the long run then that's even better. Just remember with all the other suppliers to really sit down and think about what you want before you book so you don't have this problem again. I hope we get to hear all about your plans as they progress.

Aww, don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sure everyone on here has lost money thinking they've got what they want the first time, but once the excitement has worn off a bit and they've thought about it, it's maybe not, so they find a replacement.

At least you're saving money, even with losing the deposit lol. I didn't think I wanted the whole white dress thing, this is second marriage, and always said I would love to marry again in bright red. I've gone from thinking I wanted a lovely dark blue ballgown (I'm currently trying to sell it), to gorgeous burgundy slinky number (that at least I will wear in the evening), to a cheap white Chinese ebay copy (lovely dress, needs work, but would have been happy with until I played dress up in a bridal shop... Have no idea what to do with this one). I'm now having to find an extra £600 to buy a 'proper' dress which I haven't budgeted for ?. I was trying not to be extravagant too, and telling myself I couldn't justify it lol. So much for those ideas ?.

It was a joint decision, your fiances on your side, just enjoy what you have now and learn from it so you make sure what you book from now on is what you're really comfortable with. Happy planning ?

Thank you for the kind words, It's a sting when you think 'ahhh we should never have got that venue in the first place' but at the time we thought it was the best option for us, and then it didn't feel right. We changed our vision of the wedding and even though its a big amount in one go, you just got to forgive yourself and think positive. Better to do it now than have a wedding where we won't like the venue and be just wishing we changed

Totally understandable. You've nothing to feel guilty about, especially if on balance its left you better off. I was decided on a Village Fete, garden party, posh picnic DIY wedding. I booked a venue in July last year and cancelled it about two weeks ago (if anyone in East Sussex would like a stunning modern barn village hall on 22nd August I can put you in touch!).

I found a small, very small Botique Hotel on midweek dates a few days earlier and have now booked that and changed plans. It means we can't have the evening friends do we'd originally planned, but we have two days of family and friends do either at home or down the road on 22nd.

Mine wasn't as big a deposit by any means, but after I factored in my time, it being 2 hrs away from where we live and not having a cohort of friends to help me I just couldn't do it - oh, nor do I drive. The place we got is perfect for us and after all those consideratioms, there, plus the friends party are a lot less financially and stressily than the original.

Good luck with yours.

Thanks sparkling tea cups! I also think we would actually need to decorate the village hall less as the original venue was so full of character and quirks and would have been more effort to decorate that one! My friends said we're brave for just changing and not looking back. My fiance said that if you went through with planning a wedding you didn't like and a genie granted you a wish of loosing deposit and going back in time to change it, you probably would. He's been so incredibly sweet about the whole thing. I just feel odd cos I've never met anyone who made such a drastic change (although I know a couple who had a seem less wedding and split up 2 months later, so sad :-( ) We everyone's story is different I guess. Good luck with all your plans too

Yup we did. We found a lovely little chapel with stunning gardens was going to have a marquee. Paid deposits etc then the venue started messing us around with dates etc so lost deposits we made. we was having a summer fete theme in July. Then we completely changed everything. We are now having a november church wedding i(what I really wanted) and a village hall. We brought the wedding forward also from 2016 to 2015. Honestly don't worry about it, enjoy what's really you. Like what's been said I bet all brides have waisted money whether it be a small or large amount.

you will be so much happier now you have changed to what you really want.

Hi Jesikabu, so your venue messed about your dates, that's weird. So glad you got it sorted though. Did you feel stressed whilst changing it? I'm gradually coming to terms with not making the right decision sooner, I've been kicking myself, need to stop and forgive myself for rushing into the wedding planning.

Yeah it was because it was a house, with massive land and a very small chapel on it. She only done about 4 weddings a year so guess she didn't really care too much about dates as she would get the custom else where.

yes it was so stressful at the time. But since that stressful period we haven't looked back we are so happy with our change.

When it's what you really want you stop having that niggle in the back of your mind :-)

Hi Jesikabu. Did you have many things to cancel or just the venue? Sorry just been nosy :-) I never realised it could be so stressful and really never anticipated changing venue, and so early on too! But I think the long term memories mean it will be worth the agro. I read of some brides that don't like their venue anymore but won't dare change cos money is already invested and too much is organised. Every situation is different I guess

We had booked the registra, venue and had booked the date with our tog. We was luck that our tog had 1 space left in November the month we wanted and that was the 21st. She was really good with all our changes.

i have also seen that , I think it's the best thing We could have done. Even though our first venue was stunning compared to what we have now, we have just found it's more us and we haven't been messed around once with them.

you will find everything will flow now you are much happier :-) you will enjoy the organising more.

Hi all,

On the theme of changes.. We've always said we'd have a small wedding and no fuss ( we are just having closest family and v close friends) and that's still what we're planning on doing. I'd originally planned on not having bridesmaids but having been enjoying the planning and have changed my mind and think having bridesmaids who I'm really close to would be nice. I personally don't think that having bridesmaids will add more fuss but some in my family have said that having bridesmaids makes it a bigger fuss on the day and they've been telling those not invited we're having a no fuss wedding and small do. If there's more fuss they think we should be inviting more people. What do you think? Xx

I've made mistakes too though not so costly. I went from eloping in Lapland wearing my ski gear to no I want a wedding dress so I will just buy one off ebay, to not loving it so I donated that one to weddingwishingwell. Went to a bridal shop and bought a dress I love although it was a sample so not too costly in the end. I'm also on my THIRD fur jacket having bought two off ebay that weren't quite right so bought a wallis one brand new in the end. Again ebay so didn't lose a lot and will try to sell them. Oh and I'm on my second pair of boots! I bought two fur headbands to match the unused jackets expecting not to have much hair and won't be wearing either as my hair has grown back so I don't need one and they don't match the jacket I'm now wearing. I ordered a cream brolly that turned out to be lemon! All in all I've lost about 200.00 that's all but it still rankles that I didn't get it right the first time. However I now love my dress and whole outfit so like your change of venue it will all be worth it in the end. Don't beat yourself up. Move on and enjoy the place you now love. X

Don't feel bad we all make mistakes it's just unfortunate wedding ones can cost a lot. I haven't lost deposits but I have spent around **** that I could have done without spending in all honesty but I did it to please others and not myself. It's not with cancelling the bits for us as it's more decorative so seems daft to lose the money when we can just keep the service. You both made a decision you thought was right but rather change now than when you have everything else booked! Just take your time over other decisions and you will forgive yourself! ?

First of all, what they think you should do is irrelevant - it's your wedding.

We had a small wedding but we still went all out, with a good photographer, hired vintage car, beautiful venue, lovely flowers etc. We could have easily had a bigger wedding for the same budget (about £7k not including our rings). We only had very close family and my two best friends with their partners attend. We had invited 12 guests and 10 attended.

I didn't have bridesmaids, but still discussed a lot of the wedding planning with my best friend, and she joined me and my mum at the hotel a wee while before the ceremony to help me mainly with the dress.

She wasn't a bridesmaid in the sense that she wore a dress that coordinated with the wedding colours and she didn't walk in in front of me at the ceremony but she and her fiance were our witnesses.

So she wasn't a bridesmaid but she kind of was. If you want bridesmaids but without the "fuss" maybe this would be an option but if you want proper bridesmaids, that is completely up to you. I think it's perfectly understandable to want your best friend(s) to be there for you on the wedding day.

By the way, it might have been better to create a new topic rather than reply to an old one, people might not realise and still reply to the original poster rather than you.