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Having a civil ceremony first then big ceremony in a year

FancyB, 24 February, 2020 at 12:10 Posted on Planning 0

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Hi,

So my OH and I are in a long distance relationship and planning to get legally married (in 3 months) when I go over and then have a bigger ceremony with all our family together a year later.

For the legal ceremony I wanted just witnesses and that's it but my OH wants to make it a bit special so we've decided to invite his side of the family (mine will be overseas) and a few friends, then we can go for a nice dinner. Just keeping it simple as I want the ceremony next year to be 'our big day' I don't want the legal wedding to take away from our big ceremony so just have a few things that I'm stuck on:

When do we do the stag and hen do?

Can we have a wedding registry next year even though we will be legally married? Is this rude?

Do we wear rings and say we're married?

Do we send formal invites?

Hoping anyone can help!

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VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 · 24 February, 2020 at 16:39
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I don't think it's rude to have a registry for the second ceremony - just as long as you don't have one for the first ceremony as well! ?

As for the rest, it really is up to you and what works for you. Having the hen & stag dos and the formal invites around the second ceremony would put more emphasis on that one - but if it works better to have those things for the legal ceremony instead, then go for it!

Regarding rings, unless it's a legal requirement in the country where you marry, you don't need to have them at all! If it were me, I'd probably want to wear mine as soon as I were legally married, but if you'd rather save it for the big ceremony, that's fine too. As for 'saying' you're married, you will have to do this on legal documents etc, but no reason why you have to make a big fuss about it to family/friends. If you're planning on changing your name after marriage, you could wait to do that until after the second ceremony.

One thing to bear in mind is that in this country at least, if you have a second ceremony after your legal marriage, it has to be made clear that it is a wedding blessing/vow renewal etc and not a legal marriage. So worth thinking about that when you are planning.
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