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Beginner August 2018

Help! Etiquette re: wedding reception 1 year after rushed wedding due to illness

Little_magpie, 18 January, 2018 at 11:05 Posted on Planning 0

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Hi I'm looking for suggestions, advice and blunt opinions on how to hold our wedding reception 1 year after the wedding please!!

We planned a very small wedding ceremony with immediate family and a handful of our oldest friends, followed by a quiet meal with parents and grandparents with 1 months notice as my father in law was terminally ill. He passed 1 month after we married.

We couldn't even include aunties/uncles on the day let alone all the friends we would have wanted there. We explained to everyone at the time that we would be holding an event on our 1 year anniversary which is in August-we didn't want to hold it sooner as it would be too hard too soon after my FIL had passed.

What I don't know is how 'weddingy' to make it???

There are certain aspects that will be included-we never had a wedding cake or a first dance so will be doing them this time. Also, my husband and our sons are going to wear the suits they wore on the day and I will be wearing my wedding dress (but not the veil). I was 6 months pregnant when we married so am excited to be able to wear my dress again without a bump.

We are planning it as an evening reception with disco, drinking and some sort of casal evening food eg. Hog roast/cheese board. It will likely be at a barn venue we have found.

I'm wondering whether to start it off with a vow renewal or blessing at the same venue, and would really like to know what people think? My reason for holding back is that it's only been a year-does it come across as uneccessary/self-indulgent/plain silly?? Or does it seem a nice way to include everyone who couldn't come to the wedding/ appropriate given what we have gone through in the last year/a good way to set the mood apart from it being "just a party"-AND would I look silly being in my corseted, fishtail, long train, lacy wedding dress without a weddingy part to the event?

Thanks in advance for your help!!

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Beginner March 2018
Sandra-Dee · 18 January, 2018 at 15:37
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Hello little Magpie,

My friend has done the same thing for different reasons. They had the registry office ceremony, which is mandatory in Germany, in 2014 and the Church wedding (which is optional as you can't legally get married in a church in Germany) a year after. No one found that self indulgent or silly.

And under your circumstances it's even more understandable that at the time there was no way you would have been able to organise a big wedding. And you were probably not in the mood for it either with your FIL being so ill.

I think you should make it as "weddingy" as you like. Having a vow renewal is a good idea to set the mood for the day and make it stick out from a "normal" party. Also I think just turning up in your wedding dress to a party might be a bit strange. But that's only my opinion. Have the cake, the first dance and whatever else you want. It's your day!

A year after is enough time in my opinion but that is something everyone needs to decide for themselves. If you and your closest family, especially MIL, think you are ready to have the big wedding party then go for it. Nothing about it is self-indulgent or plain silly. It wouldn't have been a year ago and it isn't now!

I hope you and your husband will have an amazing day whatever you decide to do!

Sandra
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