Help first dance worries....

I would just say don't do it- it's your wedding, not theirs!

You could perhaps do a first dance with everyone on the dance floor, if you really felt pressure to do something.

This is what I'm thinking! Plus I'm pregnant and don't really want to have all eyes on me for a dance. Not overtly showing yet but who knows on a month. I just feel uncomfortable with it all!

Could you do a couples dance? Ask married aunts and uncles, grandparents, parents, friends etc. to dance too?

Actually a couples dance sounds like a good compromise! Thank you

My OH doesn't want to do a first dance, either. We're either going to have the whole wedding party do a flashmob-style routine or have no first dance at all.

You could do the couples dance basically to shut people up. Or simply say there isn't a first dance end of.

Or sneak away just you, your oh and your photographer. Outside in the dark on your own. Makes for a lovely photo and no embarrassing audience. My first dance was in the snow in the dark on a frozen lake. How I wish I had a photographer there! We played something on oh iPhone.

Neither of us are really bothered by it so we aren't doing it, As others have said, it's your wedding and don't do anything that you;re uncomfortable with.

I think we will just have a specific song to get people dancing - keep the eyes from us!

Ooo do a flash mob and post it on here for us to see - I love them!

I've done at least 15 weddings where the couple didn't have a first dance and it has never been a problem.

The easiest way to organise it is that instead of your DJ or band waiting to kick the dancing off after the first dance, they just start playing appropriate music to get people up and dancing from early on. You will find that a lot of people haven't even realised that there hasn't been a first dance.

You could have something like an Anniversary Dance, where the DJ/MC/Singer asks all the married couples to come onto the dance floor. He then asks everyone that's been married less than 5 years to leave the floor. Then less than 10 years, then 15 and you keep going until you're left with the couple that has been married the longest.

That couple are then asked to give the bride and groom some advice for their marriage on the microphone. Then a song is played and the bride and groom dance with this couple and then after a set amount of time (15 seconds, 30, 45, 1 minute etc) the DJ asks everyone to join them on the floor.

There are so many other things that could be done also.

We're just not having one because neither of us like them particularly. No doubt there'll be some dancefloor moments that are less cringy throughout the night.

I'm not particularly looking forward to being centre of attention whilst dancing as I am rubbish at it, but we've had a first dance song earmarked since about 10 months before we got engaged so I guess we need to use it!

I've been at weddings before where it's been all of the bridal party & partners joining in with the first dance from the start, & then everyone else after a couple of verses, so that might be an option to deflect some of the attention?

Hi,

It's your wedding so only have a first dance if you want one.

It's not uncommon to not have one these days.

But if you are going to have one definitely get your band/dj to invite the close wedding party up too. (Maybe tell them first though!)

James x

We're really uncomfortable dancing in front of everyone so I really want to do a first sword fight instead! I've seen lots of different ideas on Offbeat Bride but it's entirely up to you - you can do whatever you want or do nothing at all.

Oh my gosh, Rhona, you absolutely have to do that, that's completely brilliant!!

My OH isn't keen on dancing either (anyone seen the bit from the Princess Diaries sequel where someone says "It looks like he's trying to land a plane!"...?? - that's what I'm talking about!) so we've decided to opt for a really fun, upbeat, country-style song instead of the usual smoochy, cringey type of thing, and we're planning to get our bridesmaid and her partner up there dancing with us after the first verse, to take the pressure off us a bit. Besides, we're both hoping we'll have had enough champagne by then that we won't care who's looking at us ?