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Beginner October 2019 Bedfordshire

Help. My fiancé doesn’t love me anymore

Becky, 11 March, 2021 at 12:47 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 3
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Hi everyone, hope you’re all safe and well.


I need your advice. It’s hit me that my fiancé doesn’t want to marry me anymore. In all honesty, I’m not sure he ever did. We have been friends a long time and always had a soft spot for each other. We were blissfully happy when we got together, but, as with most people, the pandemic has put huge strains on us, personally and financially. I lost my career and have had to do very generic low paid work, he’s had huge work pressures to keep a business running. And we were doing ok, and still very much a team. Until we got engaged 6 months ago, like we had planned and discussed at length.
I think he regrets asking me. Ultimately I don’t think he wants a proper “adult” relationship. He’s used to working until he can’t function, playing his computer games the rest of the time, sleeping, then repeating.
He won’t discuss the wedding, he’s not affectionate towards me anymore. He’s taken his relationship status off his social media, taken me off his phone screens.I know he does “love” me, he cares about me, but it’s hit home that he’s no longer “in love” with me. The problem is, I’m still besotted with him, and, probably naively, am just hoping he falls back in love with me.
I’m not sure what to do ?

3 replies

Latest activity by Becky, 15 March, 2021 at 07:25
  • D
    Dedicated June 2021 Hertfordshire
    Daisy ·
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    I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. Lockdown has been hard on everyone - he may well be stressed about other areas of his life, and not unhappy with you at all, but he's not handling it very well.

    I think the most important thing to do is have a conversation with your fiancé - raise your concerns, ask how he's feeling and talk about your future. As hard as it is, if he is having second thoughts it will be a million times easier to walk away now than go through with a wedding and either of you be unhappy later on. You both deserve to live the life you want to live, whether that's in a relationship or not. I know it would be heartbreaking if you still love him, but I worry that your heartbreak would only be greater later down the line if you both went through with it for fear of calling it off or hurting the other. Good luck x

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  • Yorkshirelass
    Super July 2022 Surrey
    Yorkshirelass ·
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    I am sorry to hear this and agree with Daisy who posted a reply already. This is so upsetting I know. It is not the same but I was absolutely devastated when the father of my two children left me 7 years ago, we had been together 17 years. We were engaged but now I see it wasn't right and we wouldn't have been happy in the long run. I agree that you need to discuss now and call it off as easier to walk away before marriage if that is what you decide.

    I am now engaged to a wonderful man after five years together after meeting online so I hope you get a happy ending one day too. Good luck

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  • B
    Beginner October 2019 Bedfordshire
    Becky ·
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    Thank you so much for your kind answers,
    I really appreciate it. It’s nice to know I’m maybe not as alone as I feel right now x
    • Reply

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