Help planning a Hindu wedding

Im pretty sure that ive read about 1 other bride having a HIndu wedding.

It may be worth changing the title of your post to "help planning a Hindu wedding required" or something along those lines!

Personally, I'd allow his folks to take the lead on this one. Assuming they're the Hindu half of the wedding and they think it only needs to be done a month or two in advance, take their advice. They're the experts after all!

Personally, I would be asking myself why I was having a wedding for other people. If you are only doing it for them, let them organise it!

What sort of thing do you need to know? My best friend is Hindu so I could ask her for you.

Assuming that you have a venue booked I wouldn't panic. But you'd do best to speak to you future in-laws and explain that you want to be organised. From what my friend said about her wedding her hubby's Hindu community was quite close knit and they could organise a wedding in a week if they wanted!

Tell your OH and his family that with 2 weddings you need to plan for budgets etc and you REALLY need their help. What's you're MIL2B like? Would she be flattered to be asked for help? Does your OH have any sisters or aunts locally that you could ask? In my experience if you ask someone for help with their cultural stuff they're pleased to get invloved - I know if I wanted to organise a hindu/jewish/orthodox wedding I'd need a lot of help!

Wouldn't they still need to give the several weeks legal notice and everything like that?

Well everyone else in their family including OH's sister is getting worried that we won't get things done in time. We have less than 9 months to go and still haven't booked a venue. Around their area there isn't much of a choice that will suit all of their specifications so we do need to get a move on with booking something. As soon as that is done I will feel a lot better. His parents are paying for half of this wedding so I also don't want it to be a case of me hassling them all the time.

His mother is also watching the pennies a lot even though they are loaded, and so things that I sometimes suggest seem utterly 'unreasonable' to them, but when OH says something it is always fine! Argh, angry planning!

xx

Could your OH's sister help you at all? Hope you find someone a bit more helpful than his parents!

A girl at work had a Hindu wedding (she is a Hindu herself) and she had the civil ceremony, or the legal bit, a couple of months in advance. The Hindu ceremony was just a massive party for her!

Sorry I've never been to a Hindu wedding (although would love to go to one! ? ) but I found this on the confetti site - dont know if will help at all:

http://www.confetti.co.uk/article/view/5051-8180-0-Hindu_weddings_Religious_Wedding.do

How traditional are his family? Not meaning to sound generalist (if thats even a word!) - arent Hindu's big drinkers like Sikh's? Or not? I have a friend who is half Hindu half Sikh and she's a big drinker!

I've been to a Muslim wedding where the food was the main focus of the day (no alcohol at all) and I from that wedding I think that good Indian caterers are a MUST otherwise you might p*ss the aunts/uncles/grans etc off. They had LOADS of complaints from family members about the food.

They also had favours, so assuming these things cross-cultures you'll probably need favours as well.

Sorry just read that back and I am actually no help at all!

xxx

Hello,

I am training to become a wedding planner and my advice to you would be to start with looking it the same as a traditional English wedding. Make a shortlist of possible venues in the area you are looking at that would be able to hold your 300 guests. Try to get a few different price options, or consider looking a bit further, for the one.

Then produce a sheet on each with rough prices, along with pictures, locations, then speak to your husband to discuss them. Arrange to meet your in-laws with all the information available so you can make a choice, dependant on their budget. If there are any venues you really don't like, dont present them as options to your in-laws.

Hindu ceremonies can differ greatly. Traditionally, on the wedding day, the bride and the bridegroom garland each other in front of the guests. Most guests witness only this short ceremony and then socialize, have food and leave. The religious part comes hours later, witnessed by close friends and relatives.

You and your OH need to have a discussion with his parents to discover exactly what they are going to pay half of. Is it the venue/catering/dress. Because this will limit your choice on all of these factors. You may have to be tactile but set out a budget for each of these items so everyone knows exactly what they'll be paying. This should help to keep your in-laws happy and stop any unexpected suprises.

I think it's a great idea to involve your sister in-law. Invite her out for a coffee and see if she has any pictures of any previous marraiges in the family, so you can get an idea of what to expect. She could probably help you create a list of what is different at a Hindu wedding and what traditions her family would expect. Is there a particular minister (Brahmin) who would be expected to conduct the service. Are they free on the date you have in mind?

I know i've given you a lot of questions to think about so basically:

1. Decide the programme for the day. Reception then ceremony. Ceremony then reception

2. Look at possible venues for 300 people

3. Sit down and discuss budgets with in-laws and present possible venues to them, discuss but remember its ultimately you and your OH's choice!

4. Arrange the minster

5. Start thinking about details & involve your sister-in-law with this

I hope this is of some help. If there is anything else I can be of assistance with please let me know. I'm looking forward to finding out how your planning goes,

Emma

Thanks MrsB_2B that's given me something to work on at least! Well they are traditional in the very difficult way that they're vegen and alcohol is not allowed at all. The bar will be firmly and very securely locked up! They don't eat onions or garlic because of the caste that they're part of too so the first Christian wedding is already a hassle with their menu!

The other thing I neglected to mention was that it isn't only OH's parents that have a big say in what is happening. OH's dad's big brother who is seen as the head of the family are having a say in the wedding too, they've had a say in the engagement party we had and apparently everything else we're doing. One wedding and 2 sets of parents are enough to deal with let alone another wedding and extended families!

Think this is turning into more of a rant though more than anything. Sorry for rabbiting on and on, just very very frustrated and fed up with it all. Thank you everyone for your recommendations and listening/reading!

xx

Thanks Emma, that was really helpful. We've been looking at venues slowly for the past 2months. Little difficult with neither of us living anywhere near Kent where it will be held. I've asked OH sister for some advice but to be honest she has no idea how a traditional Hindu wedding should work either!

Do you have any other recommendations for what I should be doing after finding venue and minister? Wish it was a normal wedding that have check-lists with times that I need to do things for!

xx

Typical...as far as my mum is concerned my brothers cant do any wrong either lol

Have you thought about actualy getting a wedding planner? My friend who is Gujarati married a Bengali guy and found it helpfull to have a wedding planner that was used to arranging both type of weddings. Even though they were both muslim there were still quiet a few diffrences but the wedding planner gave lots of advice to them to keep everyone happy. Alot of them already have stages and Mandaaps that you could use and help with the run of the day.

Kent registrar service and Kent county council have loads of information https://www.akentishceremony.com/uk/a-kentish-wedding

And they produce a magazine which has suppliers and venues - it's a fantastic resource, and even if you're not having a full civil ceremony there's loads of useful stuff.

HTH

Have you got a more exact location in Kent? Also do you have the address of the Hindu temple which your in-laws go to? I may be able to source some more info for you?

Email me at ***********@*******.*** if you don't want to post it?

Hi echesterton, will email you now. Thank you!

xx