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L
Beginner April 2023 West Yorkshire

Help! Really hated my dress

Laura, 28 of March of 2024 at 15:04 Posted on Wedding Attire 1 6

I think I鈥檓 driving myself a bit mad 馃槥 I got married last year and although we had a wonderful day, I just have the biggest dress regret that I can鈥檛 seem to get over. My dress seemed ok at the fitting, but on the day it seemed to bag and fold above my waist, getting worse as the day went on. Especially when sat down. And when I got the photos that鈥檚 all I can see! Now I don鈥檛 want ANY photos in the house and my poor husband I think is worried I have a problem with being married, as I can鈥檛 stand to look at any of them or even talk about our day! I know I鈥檓 being obsessive and there鈥檚 nothing I can do, but any suggestions as to how I stop being so self absorbed and just move on? I think as it was my second wedding I just wanted to look nice, especially for my kids, and I just feel so disappointed and embarrassed 鈽癸笍 I鈥檝e attached some pics with the problem area circled in one..


Help! Really hated my dress 1


Help! Really hated my dress 2


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Help! Really hated my dress 6

6 replies

Latest activity by Alexandra, 5 of April of 2024 at 18:38
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135
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    Seriously?!!! I'm kind of hoping that this is a joke post, and you're really just wanting to share how beautiful you looked on your wedding day, but on the off-chance you really mean it...

    With my nose 2 inches from the screen, I still can't see this 'problem area' you're talking about. You look stunning in every single photo.

    Do you usually suffer from a tendency to perfectionism? It's really sad that you can't see how lovely you look, and seriously, if this 'dress regret' is bothering you to this extent a whole year after your wedding, then please seek some professional therapy asap. You don't have to live like this. It's having a detrimental effect on you and your husband, and I bet it's also affecting everyone else who cares about you, because if you can't even bear to talk about your wedding or look at wedding photos, it's going to be pretty hard to hide that from anyone close to you. It's so sad that this is spoiling your early months of married life.

    You say that you are upset at how you looked because you wanted to look nice for your kids. Can I gently suggest that your kids would probably far rather have a mother who was able to accept herself for the beautiful woman she is and be able to celebrate her wedding - including her wedding photos - than to have a mother who is worried about an all-but-invisible flaw in her wedding dress.

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  • Laura
    Beginner June 2025 Durham
    Laura
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    Those photos are absolutely stunning! If I look half as beautiful in my wedding photos as that, I'll be more than happy!! Like the other person who replied, I wonder if you have perfectionist tendencies? I do a lot of graphic design at work, and I'm forever unhappy with little details that don't turn out the way I want - and that's all I cam see I'm the work! But seriously, literally no one else notices them at all, and couldn't care less about them if I point them out. Ive learnt (over years) not to obsess as much over less-than-perfect details. Can you maybe be kind to yourself, and acknowledge the amazing photos and how wonderful you look, and deliberately blank out the small part of the dress you don't like? (I also onestly can't see what you mean, and I'm betting no one else will either, and even if they do they 100% won't care or think badly of it. x
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  • S
    Rockstar July 2024 Cumbria
    Shay
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    I am also really unsure what you mean by it being baggy? This fits your figure perfectly and you look absolutely amazing! I know we can all pick at things when it comes to ourselves but your dress fitter has done an amazing job!
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  • Daisyconfetti1707
    Beginner December 2026 South Yorkshire
    Daisyconfetti1707
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    Nothing baggy about it you look beautiful! Congrats 馃
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  • M
    Curious March 2024 Tamil Nadu
    Monster
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  • A
    Beginner October 2024 Perthshire
    Alexandra
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    I am so sorry you feel that way because as others have said, you look so beautiful and your dress is stunning and I can't see the fault you are highlighting. That sounds really difficult on you to feel that way about your special day though. I'm not saying the fault isn't there, but it is probably a lot smaller and less obvious to others than you think. That doesn't mean it isn't obvious to you though, and I think it's OK to accept that you don't love the fit of the dress, but I don't think that needs to keep the photos completely spoiled for you.

    Sometimes it's easy to fixate on the flaws and then zone in on those so much that you don't notice any of the positives. I would advise trying to consciously redress the balance. Maybe try looking at each photo in turn and pick out 5 positive things you can see in the photo. Like in the last pic, you aren't keen on the fit on your waist but maybe you can also acknowledge that you like the way your husband is looking at you, your lovely wavy hair, the beautiful bouquet in your hand, or the way your veil is flowing.

    I am a lot heavier than you and trying to slim a bit for the day and I am trying to manage my expectations and don't expect to look half as nice as you do, and I'm sure the photos of me won't live up to my idea of perfection, but I'm looking forward to seeing what will still be a beautiful and special day and the photos will hopefully remind me of a day I felt special and very loved.

    I would agree with others that if you are struggling still after a while to get some counselling. Lots of employers have Employee Assistance Programmes you can access some really good and free, confidential advice on lots of things like this.

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