Help - starting to smoke again

Have a huge hug ?

As an ex-smoker I totally empathise...I still associate smoking with times of stress, as well as having a good time. I must admit that I succumb to the occasional smoke when out on a heavy drinking session.

Ypu are focusing a lot on the few that you have smoked, and being very hard on yourself. How about giving yourself a pay on the back for all the time you've been smoke-free, and for all the times you haven't reached for the cigarettes. Stop beating yourself up, instead remember why you quit and how good it felt when you got through your first day/week/month. Get rid of them now, and focus on all the great things about being smoke free.

Also, please speak to your GP about the panic attacks...medication may provide short term relief, or CBT could help in the longer term. I had heart palpitations and night sweats in the lead up to the wedding but they disappeared the second I said 'I do'...hopefully this will be the case for you.

Go see your gp, explain how you're feeling and ask for something to help with the panic attacks. Then ask for patches to help you not smoke again as you can have them at any time. Most of all, don't feel ashamed and ask your friends and family for their help and support. I am sure none of them will be angry with you or upset, but will want to help. If you really can't do that, talk to us lot, rant and rave if you need to and let us help xxx

Ok, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling anxious about the wedding. Is it anything in particular that is causing it?

I, myself am an ex smoker. I did try the e cigarette, but it was useless and I went back to the cigs. I've turned to 'vaping'. It is helping me to not smoke. Not smoked for around 4 months now and I feel great. You may have heard of it before, but if not, google it. It may help?

Sorry I can't help with the angst, but if you want more info re vaping, I'm your gal!

I quit smoking last year (after several failed attempts) and even though I have no desire to smoke now I often find myself having random cravings. These are usually if I'm emotional but sometimes even just out of the blue I could be cleaning the kitchen and cigarettes pop into my mind. I just remind myself that smoking won't make me feel any better and I'll hate it and they quickly pass.

I completely understand why you might naturally fall back on smoking when you're having anxiety attacks and the like, when I used to smoke the slightest bit of upset/anxiety/stress would have me lighting up but now you are beating yourself up about the smoking and worrying about what other people will think about you and sadly you are going to make yourself feel even worse.

As others have said you need to address the problem of the anxiety attacks, don't hide things from your family and friends - especially if you're feeling low - because you're worried about them being disappointed in you, I'm sure above all else they will want to help you.

*Big hugs*

Thank you so much for your replies, it's helped enormously, I've just got myself into a bit of a state about it. With the panic attacks, I try my best not dwell on these kind of things but sometimes I think I just end up ignoring it and not trying to sort it out. I've been a bit scared to go to the GP about the panic attacks as I feel like I'm admitting I failed again if you see what I mean? I know it's stupid. I've had CBT before and it worked wonderfully so I think I need to revisit it.

It does seem to be wedding-triggered so I'm hoping if I can get through that I can manage it again because before this I'd had no problems for ages and could go anywhere and do anything without any problems. It's not the getting married part, it's just the crowds and attention that seems to have set me off a bit, just thinking about it scares me. It's so stupid because I'm really looking forward to the wedding and getting married and I know how lucky I am and I feel like I'm ruining it all by feeling like this.

I don't really want to start having any kind of nicotine replacement again as then I'll get addicted to it again and I'd rather not get into the habit of getting regular nicotine. MellowYellow, thank you, you are absolutely right, I am looking at this all wrongly, and focussing on the negatives of it. Just reading that has helped a bit. I just don't want to get back into that slippery slope again because I know how hard it is to stop if I start again.

Thank you, and sorry for the long posts, it's kind of nice to get it all off of my chest.

Oi you- don't you be sorry!!

Like MY says focus on the positives- so you have caved and had a few smokes- that's okay- you are only human after all!

Just getting it out here will have helped you put things in to perspective I know

You are going to have a fab day and come away with a shiny new husband and all these worries will melt away I promise. If you are like me on the day- the bit I was most worried about (walking down the aisle) it was like I had blinkers on, I didn't register anyone I was just focused on boyo at the front and then afterwards when leaving I was too happy to care! And after that I got drunk

Yes Kjay you're right just typing it felt like a huge weight off and put into perspective, I tend to panic about things and make them bigger than they are when I'm like this. Mooshy, I will talk to my OH about it but I know others will 'judge me' for smoking again so I'd rather not say. And with the anxiety stuff only a few people know (those that I couldn't hide it from) and I haven't told anyone else, I'm a bit weird about things like this and don't really tell people stuff so it means I feel like I don't have many people to talk to it about (apart from my oh, and I don't want to feel like a burden and he doesn't understand the smoking this as he's never smoked). It's good to just type it out on here.

Good luck anon. You have all the otters on your side X

Sorry to bump this but I just wanted to give you all an update. It's been a week since I posted this and I haven't touched another cigarette. I've struggled quite a bit with it (especially over Easter) and keep feeling like I want another one but haven't touched any and feeling more hopeful that I'll manage to stay off of them. I've also booked another session with my old counsellor, to see if it helps with the panic attacks in the meantime. I'm fairly confident they're wedding related but it won't hurt. Thank you for the advice and the kind words, they really helped when I was getting a bit anxious about it all, I know it's only something silly but I'd worked it up in my head, so I really appreciate the responses. Thank you!

Great news anon! You've done really well and you should be proud of yourself.

Well done for staying off them Anon, that's a massive achievement for you so keep it up ? lots of Otter support here when (if) you need it ? xx

Well done you!!! Really glad you've contacted your counsellor - doesn't matter whether its about your wedding or for any other reason, no shame in asking for help when you need it. Keep going and have another otter hug xxx

I have chatted to a hitcher before about panic attacks and fear of being the centre of attention when getting married so I suspect I may know who you are...whether I'm right or wrong if you know who I am on facebook you're welcome to pm me if you want to chat about it!

It does sound like you need to deal with the anxiety as the smoking is just a by-product of that. Counselling/CBT is definitely a good idea. Are you taking any medication? x

Fabulous update, well done you! I hope you're very proud of yourself ?

Thanks all. Peanut, I suspect you're probably right, I thought a couple of people might know who i was just a bit worried about making it public in case any one in real life sussed it was me. No medication, as I say I've been really good for a few years, and hoping I can manage it. I'm just so angry at myself for getting like this. On one hand I'm so excited, the next I'm petrified. You're totally right about smoking being a by product, that's why I was so worried about it because starting again is the last thing I need. Thank you for being so kind.

So glad to hear you're back on the no smoking wagon...reading your first post just had me thinking maybe one wee smoke wouldn't hurt...? It would though! I've been quit over 3 years and the desire still hasn't gone away. Be strong! My main reason for not doing it is just reminding myself that I would hahve to go through those first weeks of quitting all over again!!

Glad to hear you are feeling better anon. Good luck with it all.