I get married in three weeks (eek!) and I submitted my table plans to my venue a few weeks ago. However in the meantime, my father has kicked up a huge fuss because his wife is not seated at my top table. I have the traditional top table layout with chief bridesmaid, best man, parents of bride and groom, etc. However, my partners father passed away a number of years ago, and as he has no male relatives that would be able to sit in the seat in honour of his father, we decided to choose my stepfather. This is what has kicked up the fuss with my father. I understand where he is coming from that one step-parent is sitting at the table and not the other, but he won't listen to my point of view. My stepfather has been in my life since I was young, he has supported me and my sister both financially and emotionally since the day he moved in. My father refused to pay maintenance to my mother so my stepfather assumed this role without a second thought. He treats both me and my sister as his daughters. He is a wonderful man and it wouldn't have a single bad word said against him. On the other hand, my dad's wife has been in my life for only about 7 or 8 years. From day one of meeting her, I felt she wanted only my father and not myself and my sister. She has no children of her own. Since she came on the scene, I feel that my relationship with my father has drastically changed for the worse. She occasionally causes trouble between me and my father, for example I got a huge ear bashing from my father a couple of years ago, which culminated in us almost falling out, because she didn't like the birthday card I sent her!!!!!
I didn't put her on the top table out of spite, it was clearly an oversight on my part, and my father has decided that I have done it maliciously and told members of my family. He says he is upset and insulted by it, I retaliated by saying I was upset and insulted as his daughter that he'd think I could be that malicious. Also the fact that he disappeared off to Vegas to get married and didn't tell anyone, especially me and my sister. We both found this upsetting, not that we weren't invited but just that he hadn't bothered to tell us beforehand.
Am I being unreasonable or are my explanations justified? Please help, I can't change the seating plan as my stationary is all ready and I just don't want to change it. His wife is sat with her parents and my fathers family, so she's been thought of.
