Help! Wedding dress dilemma

Welcome to hitched ?

Oh dear! You need to check what the terms & conditions of the original dress desposit say. I know what its like to find 'the one' but I would have looked elsewhere & compared prices before putting a deposit down on a 2nd dress straight away. Have you looked a preloved or at least compared the price of the dress you want to other shops???

Depending on the T&C's of the original dress & the desposit you paid, I'd be inclined to NOT pay the rest to buy the dress & cut your losses. I think the amount you'd actually get for it, even unworn, wouldnt be worth trying to sell it on. You'd have the loss of the deposit, but depending what that was, it might be less than what you'd loose in the long run.

Would be very cheeky (& lying!), but could you say you are now pregnant/broke wedding off/someone is unwell & you are now unsure of the future & the wedding as a whole? Prob wouldnt sway the 1st shop in giving you more money back, but might be worth a try.

Welcome to hitched!

How much of a deposit have you paid on the first dress? Could be worth checking out preloved/ebay to see if that dress is for sale and how much it is selling for.

I have no idea as to advice to give except to say that this will all be worth it in the end when you're wearing your dream dress on your wedding day!

Even if you sell it on untouched and without alterations, you won't get back what you paid for it. If people have to pay the same as in a bridal shop, they'll nine times out of ten buy from a bridal shop where they can pay in instalments etc.

depends what your deposit was and if you're happy to lose it?

Do you have pics of you in the dresses?

I did a lot of research online last night and I think I might have to cut my losses - but will give the shop a ring tomorrow and see what they suggest...Think I am just going to have to grovel alot. I feel really guilty but I know I would feel worse if I wore a dress I didn't love.

I don't have any pictures of me in the dresses but the dress I bought first was Maggie Sottero Bianca and my new dress is Naomi Neoh Chloe (not sure how to post pics yet)... completely different I know! Woke up this morning feeling much happier about it, so I know I made the right decision...even if it is a bit of mess for a while.

Thanks for all your help!

Your new dress is gorgeous! I've never heard of that designer before, sort of wishing I had!

Chloe was a dress I almost bought, it's absolutely beautiful. Where are you getting it from? When is your wedding? I nearly bought from the Bluewater wedding fair, as they had 20% off if you ordered it that weekend.

Not sure when the next one is but thought it might be helpful for you.

ETA just seen your wedding is in August, so this post is not at all helpful, sorry!

Haha No worries and thanks! I have bought it from a boutique in Bradford on Avon - Carina Baverstock. They were so helpful and squeezed me in for an appointment to try it on at the very last minute! Would highly recommend them to any west country brides! They have even rushed the order through so I get it in enough time before the wedding for the alterations. Nothing like a bit of last minute shopping!

Make sure you flash lots once you're married. Loved that dress so much, but something just kept pulling me back to the one I went on to order ?

I really liked Naomi Neoh's Dita but only one shop nearby had it & it was far too small for me to try on! I also had my eye on the Chloe!

The first pic is Dita & I think the 2nd is Chloe, is this what you're having?!

Yes - the second dress Chloe is my new dress! I tried on Dita but it didn't suit me as much - the sweetheart neckline works better for me than a straight cut one as I am a little top heavy. Both were amazing though... so light and 'swishy' (if that's an official wedding term!) Chloe gave my waist an amazing shape too...

Oh my! Beautiful dress! Just looked at her collection. They are gorgeous x

Aw it's gorgeous! I know what you're saying about the sweetheart neckline. If I'd gone for the Dita I would have had it altered. I actually found one for sale that had had that done. I'm having a dress wobble again now!!

Firstly..ouch, I feel your pain.H2B brought a titanium engraved wedding band back in Jan for £169. His fingers have since shrunk and he can't get it altered. So that's £169 down the swanny. It's on Ebay for £50 but I doubt it will ever sell.

In regards to your dress, read the small print very carefully. If you have only paid the deposit and not the full value, then the dress is not as such yours anyway, unless it's only the charge for the final alterations? I'm a little confused here. If you have brought the dress and it's unaltered to fit you, then you could just sell it as size ... and say it has not been altered to fit. Try somewhere like Ebay and just say that you brought the dress but have had a change of heart, be honest. Simply say it's never worn, you don't need to go further than that, really. If you do that, though. Do it on a weekend when there is zero insertion fees! I say this because Ebay make a killing on their listing fees. Even some of my £20 or more items cost £1 each time to relist!

Most of all, be absolutely 100% sure this is the decision you want to make. Do you feel you brought your dress in haste? I settled for Mori Lee 3053 and nearly paid up. I since found my dream dress on Ebay and saved an absolute fortune. Sometimes it's just worth holding on but..with 4 months to go, you do need to deicide!

Good luck, I do sincerely hope whatever you decide works out well for you!

MrsStobe13 xx

Thanks MrsStobe13! Got to call the first dress shop tomorrow and find out what my options are - whether I cancel and accept I lose the deposit or they can re-sell or I do... will keep you posted! Thanks for the ebay advice, that's really helpful and good to know.

I definitely bought the first dress too hastily - it was beautiful but I bought it very early on in our planning and the whole shape of the wedding has changed since then. Completely my fault. I am 110% (maybe more) in love with my new dress and it will be ready for July so in time for any alterations that need doing :-)

If you cancel you will unfortunately definitely lose the deposit. Essentially, you have to bear in mind they've ordered your dress to be made and you're now telling them you don't want it. They will have cut the material (or more, depending how long ago you ordered it) and be piecing together the dress they thought you wanted. They have to finish making the dress and hope the shop can re-sell it. If you want to resell it yourself, you will have to pay for the dress in full and then re-sell it, so it would unfortunately be better for your pocket if you accept you've lost the deposit, cancel it and buy the dress you want.

Buying a dress in a haste is hellish and I so nearly spent £875 on one that seconded the dress I want. I was such a picky bride that my Mum suggested I looked at Ebay, so I did. I ended up buying one for less than £250 and she is dress of my dreams. I got her just before Christmas too! The only alterations are a tiny one to the halterneck cos I...erm...lack, lol.

So pleased you've found your dream dress though, unfortunate if you do have to lose the deposit. I just hope it's not too much! I think my H2B would hang me up by my ears if I changed my mind on anything. I definitely have a Groomzilla on my hands! lol.

MrsStobe13 xx

Your new dress is beautiful. I love Noami Neoh although have a feeling it is way out of my price range from the googling I have been doing! Could I be cheeky and ask roughly what you paid for yours? Please feel free to give a very rough ballpark figure.

Thanks for your message Shopplet- I tried to reply but my emails are having a mad 5 minutes! Really helpful of you to let me know

Thanks again.

Lucky you, 2 dresses?

I found the dress of my dreams and cannot contact the shop, there is no address or phone number just a contact sheet you have to fill out. I have sent them 3 e-mails all saying successfully sent yet no reply.

I cannot find a similar dress anywhere. It's grecian, strapless, very light and simple as I am getting married in Greece.

Have you tried a google image search? If you've got the image you can search for similar. Go to google home page, images tab and click the camera in the search box.

You may find somewhere selling the same dress and/or similar dresses. Be warned you're likely to have to sift through a fair few 'made cheap in china' dresses but it's worth a try.