Help! Wedding fail!

Hey kcatnip,

Unfortunately I don't have any advice, there was a bride around Christmas who broke her ankle a few weeks before her wedding but I think she postponed to avoid the crutch issue - can't remember her name though.

Do you have insurance,would postponing be an option or do you def want to go ahead?

Just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear that you areunwell, I can imagine you probably feel ridiculously stressed and worried right now.

I hope your operation goes well and do give us a shout if there's anything we can do to help. Xx

Hey kcatnip,

Unfortunately I don't have any advice, there was a bride around Christmas who broke her ankle a few weeks before her wedding but I think she postponed to avoid the crutch issue - can't remember her name though.

Do you have insurance,would postponing be an option or do you def want to go ahead?

Just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear that you areunwell, I can imagine you probably feel ridiculously stressed and worried right now.

I hope your operation goes well and do give us a shout if there's anything we can do to help. Xx

We do have insurance but only to cover things like suppliers failing, we just didn't think that something like this could happen to us, we are both young and supposedly healthy.

It's a big wedding and I don't want to let everyone down, people are flying in from all over the world. If we cancelled we wouldn't be able to have a wedding like this again because everything is non refundable, we saved really hard to make it happen and I don't think we can do it again, especially as I will be off work for some time now.

Just another thought- any suggestions for nice wedding shoes that are flat and supportive?

I don't think anyone expects these things to happen so it's understandable. The main thing is that, you've got to look after your health and IF you did decide to delay it your guests would understand and you wouldn't be letting down.

Whatever you decide makes sure its right for you.

I know someone who got married on crutches. She broke her leg doing spinning a few weeks before the wedding.

She had a pot on her leg but this was totally covered by her dress because it was a full length one. Her crutches were decorated by wrapping ribbon and other decorations around them. The wedding was absolutely fine! Most of the photos were seated ones bar the group shots and they did have to postpone the honeymoon abroad.

It can be done provided you are out of hospital and adapt to take things easy. I hope everything goes well and for a quick recovery for you. At the end of the day, your health is the most important thing.

It can totally be done. I spent over 2yrs on crutches back in my 20s (my femur is held together by a metal plate and bone they took from my pelvis) and I did everything and went everywhere on them, including to nightclubs. These days I walk with a stick sometimes, although I didn't need it on my wedding day. My advice would be: practice on your crutches as much as poss as soon as you're allowed up, make sure you're confident on them. If you're allowed to bear weight through your bad leg you'll cope fine, if not you will get tired quickly and your good leg WILL get sore. Make sure your shoes are comfortable, carry any medications you're on and painkillers with you - if you weren't planning to have a little handbag, you might wanna consider one now, just so you don't have to rely on other people to have your pills ready when you need them. You'll probably already be in a routine with medication by that point but I would say if you can, take painkillers preemptively on the day, rather than waiting for pain to strike at an inopportune moment. Make sure your tog is fully aware of the situation and if you want most of the pics to be seated to avoid the crutches issue, be clear on that. As mentioned, you can decorate your crutches with flowers, ribbons or whatever. The only thing I don't really have any advice on is a first dance! But hope some of this helps

Thanks that is really helpful. I haven't spoken to our photographer yet, I will get on that next week. Will find a bridal handbag too, I hadn't thought of that.

Bone graft and metal plate is what I think the plan is in my leg too. I used to be a ballet dancer so the dance was really important to me, I had my first dance choreographed within a week of getting engaged! I am going to have to think of something creative to do instead.

If they're doing a bone graft from your pelvis, be prepared for that wound to be quite sore - try not to cough, sneeze or laugh for a few days! But in terms of walking, with most of my operations I was up and about on crutches after a couple of days, they like to get you out of the bed as soon as possible.

You poor hun have lots of wierd Internet hugs and know thag although many of us haven't been through what you are we are all here to listen and rant if you want to say things you wouldn't want to say irl if you get me ... I have a bulk of tissues available :-)

Also would it be a option to record your dance with your hubby prior to the operation so you can show your dance on the day?

Oh sweetie, so sorry to hear this. What sort of dress do you have? Completely agree with decorating your crutches or wheelchair, as your bridesmaids or your mum to get some ribbon etc and decorate them for you. I love lala's suggestion of recording your dance, then you could play it while you have a more sedate dance. I would recommend that you (or someone on your behalf, I think you have enough to worry about) gives all your suppliers a call and explains your situation. If the worst should happen at least you'll know if your suppliers are willing to move your booking.

As for shoes, I love shoe shopping! Look at elegant steps and rainbow club, but look at high Street too. Couple to look at for you. I've included ballet pumps but they might not be supportive enough or stay on your feet.

http://m.newlook.com/shop/shoe-gallery/view-all-shoes/white-lace-ballet-pumps_328843910

http://m.newlook.com/shop/shoe-gallery/view-all-shoes/white-diamante-studded-espadrilles_342639010

http://m.newlook.com/shop/shoe-gallery/view-all-shoes/white-pointed-ankle-strap-pumps-_344370810

Oh no, sorry to read this. Really hope you're better asap.

I'm wearing flats, Jenny Packham ones which I think are pretty and are still available at Debenhams

http://m.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_051010403785_-1

Good luck with everything x

What about those personalised white wedding converse that I am seen a few people get on here as their second pair of shoes for the evening? You should make your shoes a feature and don't worry about not wearing heels!

Oh you poor thing. As others have said, most important thing is your health but you shouldn't let it ruin your big day! Floor length dress, flats or trainers (no one will see) and make your crutches really pretty with ribbons and flowers. Could have fairy lights for the evening to make it more festive!

I don't know if you saw a recent episode of Don't Tell The Bride but she was on crutches and she made it work. You could film the first dance before the surgery or instead of the first dance have a slideshow of lovely pictures of you and husband to be to some music.

Everyone will be so awed by your strength!

I love those shoes, the last ones look like they would be supportive enough. Thanks for your help x

Quick update: my venue have called this evening, they said they can move the entire day to mid November with no extra cost due to the circumstance. May have alot of cross people who have booked flights and hotels but at least its something!

Thanks every one for your helpful advice xxxx

Ah that's fantastic news about your venue!

I'm sure family and friends will understand. Many may able to be able to move the flights and hotels at minimal cost anyway if they explain the circumstances. Likely a small admin fee but hopefully nothing excessive!

Hi Everyone,

I thought I would just pop a catch up on here in case anyone else searching for 'help, I am on crutches!/in a wheelchair/worried about getting through the day'

We got married on 10th October as planned , despite me being unable to stand without crutches, relying on a wheelchair to get around and generally being in a fair bit of pain. It was still an amazing day and we managed it like this:

We started the day late, not getting married until 14:30 gave me enough time to sleep until mid day. I put ushers in charge of everything so on the day all I had to do was shower, sit while my makeup was being done and get into my dress. The venue had a dressing room which really helped. My dress was a flowy dress that had enough room in case my hip was swollen on the day. We had it adjusted 2 days before and they also decorated my crutches by wrapping them in lace. The lace was sewn on which was great, it stayed put until we cut it off the day after. I had pale pink suede brogues in the end for my shoes, comfy and pretty.

The registrar was really understanding and came up to my dressing room for the interview. During the ceremony we perched at the front on really pretty wooden white stools, I did manage to stand for the rings though

Pictures were hard work. One of my bridesmaids followed me around with the stool from the ceremony and it is behind me in most the pictures. We only allowed 30 mins for photographs but even that was a bit much in the end.

We had the most amazing first dance in the end. My husband sat me on my stool in the middle of the dance floor and sang 'Stand by me' to me. It made everyone cry, then he came and got me at the instrumental. We just hugged and stood still but the bridesmaids and ushers came onto the floor and danced around is, the videos look like we are dancing, it worked really well.

For the rest of the evening I pretty much boogied the night away whilst never leaving my stool! I took a couple of breaks into the bar where I sprawled out and put my legs up, they were pretty puffy by the evening.

So all in all, we had an incredible day, illness or disability should never ruin someones wedding, you can make it so magical with just a few simple adjustments (and some helpful bridesmaids!)

I'm so pleased you had an amazing day and it's lovely you came back to say so. In times of adversity you find out how much love surrounds you. Would love to see some pictures if you want to share any. X

Blackberry flowers. Omnom.

Beautiful bridesmaid modelling my crutches

We have lots of shots like this, in reality I was just taking one step forward then being sat onto a stall but our photographer caught enough so that we got some full length shots without crutches. If you can stand for just a few seconds and get everyone to move around you it creates the movement you miss when you are sat down.

Sun glass pout...must have been something in the blackberries! (crutches hidden behind my lovely girl).

Photos by Danielle King.

You look amazing. Hope you're soon more mobile. They made a good job of the photos and unless told you wouldn't know there are hidden stools and crutches. All the best for a wonderful future together.

I picked the few where you couldn't see them, there are lots where its pretty obvious, but it was great to get a few without them. I think I am in for a pretty long road to being able to walk without aids so I am just getting on with life now, no point waiting for it to get better when it could take months/years.

I really want to share what I have learnt more widely, we went to Venice and Dubrovnic in a wheelchair as well as planned a wedding around MRI's and CT scans. It really has been a sharp learning curve and there are so few resources to help. I really hope that other brides will be confident enough to carry on and plan the wedding they want, there is a solution to every problem!

I'm so glad your wedding still went ahead as planned - and I hope you recover really quickly!

So pleased you had a great time, your photos are gorgeous Congratulations, what a lovely story!

Congratulations on your beautiful wedding and recovery! Truly inspirational!

Thanks so much for coming back and sharing your story. So glad everything went well with the operation - fingers crossed your health only continues to improve! - and you had a magical day through it all.

We look forward to your report and seeing more photos! Congratulations

Really glad that everything went well, and you had a fantastic day. You're dress is gorgeous.

Thank you for coming back, and sharing the happy ending.

Aww, bless you, you look wonderful, well done on not letting it get the better of you! x

How wonderful, you looked amazing. So glad you managed to have a lovely day. Congratulations x