Hen do

Me! My MOH booked her wedding for a month before mine meaning there’s now 2 hen dos and 2 weddings for our friends to pay for and I cba with by the time my wedding comes around no one will have any money and end up leaving early ?

I'm not having one. To be honest I never really enjoy them and I think the expense has gotten out of hand - everyone seems to turn them into a massive thing with hotels and travel, outfits and activities etc. in addition to the expense in attending the wedding (hardly any of my guests live in London where I'm getting married so I am conscious it is already a pricey wedding to come to). I'm just having a spa day with my mum and sister, which I think I'll enjoy much more!

You can do whatever you like for a hen do - including not having one at all.

I've known a few brides who have just done an afternoon tea or lunch for a few close friends. Or something like pottery painting. It doesn't have to be a late night or a whole weekend. And it's fine just to invite one or two people if you don't want loads.

View quoted message Thank u least I’m I know I’m not being selfish x

Totally agree, it has become extremely over the top, expecting people to pay for trips abroad to Las Vegas for instance is just ridiculous in my opinion. And all the outfits and add ons. I am planning on staying in the UK for a one or two night spa break with my work and uni friends and my mum and sister. My mother in law to be would never come anyway as she is 86.....

View quoted message That’s true that’s my problem as mines pricey too

I haven't got a huge amount of girl-friends. Never been into clubs and bars. So thinking of having a spa day/afternoon tea/ pottery painting chill out with my closest friends, mum and mother in law.

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Best hen do I ever went to was a lunch followed by a pottery painting afternoon! It was over 10 years ago, and I've still got my pottery mug.

I agree. I wish I had followed my gut. Invited friends to mine and every one of them declined. I knew that would happen, girls less commit to hens compared to stags, but out of courtesy I invited them and I feel quite embarrassed they all said no at once. On the plus side I guess there's less to manage!

View quoted message Omg that’s terrible. I can’t imagine how you must feel. That’s a shame - I love a hen do and am very much looking forward to mine.

I’ll be having a hen but I don’t know what will happen as my MOH and BMs are organising - it’s only being on this site that I realised sometimes brides organise their own hen do (in my circle the bridal party always had).


One thing I will say is know your friends/family and how they spend money. If as a group you can only afford to go to the local pub for a night out or always staycation in the U.K./going abroad is something they heavily save for etc you need to be realistic about if people will go to Ibiza for a hen or £300 plus travel and food for a spa weekend ...
Good luck with whatever you decide.
For those who’ve attended others hens at expense if I were organising my hen and they declined I’d let them know it upset me. If they are double booked then fine enough (they’ll probably send some drinks etc to those attending) if they just say they can’t afford it with no contrition then that likely tells you everything you need to know about your relationship with them. IMHO

I had all excuses really, some were very valid and expected, and some not so much. The ones I'm most disappointed about are the ones I attended quite large events like their birthday (expenses of like £100+ per person inc presents), bearing in mind this is my first event for them. I had expected they'd offer the same support. I think at the moment quite a few hide behind Covid as an excuse but this probably happens more than we realise for hens. Its fine though, I have my sisters and will still have a good time.