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Beginner October 2025 Essex

Hen do

Chloe, 24 of January of 2024 at 20:17 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 3

Hi girls I’m just after a bit of hen do advice really as it’s really stressing me out 😩

I have 4 bridesmaids and one of them is mainly dealing with organising the hen do. We’d all originally said we’d be so up for going abroad if it was within everyone’s budgets etc and I made it so clear from day 1 that if it just wasn’t possible I wouldn’t care where we all went and what we did just as long as everyone could make it.
I’ve now been told that my hen has been booked as they didn’t want to miss a particular deal but only 5 of them are coming because the others just couldn’t afford it and it was also in the week so childcare issues etc which I fully understand. The girls who can’t come have made it clear to me they’d love to come and they’re so sad they’re not but it was all very rushed and it was very much ‘we’re booking this if you don’t come then that’s up to you’ basically. It all feels very rushed and I feel so sad that not everyone is coming when I know they would if more time was spent to look for maybe other deals. We don’t get married until end of 2025.
My bridesmaid is adamant they wouldn’t come anyway and says 5 out of 10 is great and is so excited but I can’t help but feel a bit let down and sad that those I want there won’t all be there. I’m finding it so difficult to say something as I don’t want to come across unappreciative of what they’ve booked but really unsure how to handle this or if I should say anything at all? They’ve said they’ll organise a second hen in the UK maybe an afternoon out somewhere so I don’t know whether to just enjoy the 2 hen dos or whether to say something and see if they can change their booking to something where everyone could perhaps come?
Please help a very stressed out bride to be 🙈😩

3 replies

Latest activity by RomanticGreenStationery27135, 28 of January of 2024 at 08:50
  • S
    Dedicated July 2024 West Midlands
    SL WaltonJones ·
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    Enjoy both hen dos! It's very rare to get everyone together at the same time anyway. You've got the best of both worlds with two occasions to celebrate
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  • Ivana
    Dedicated August 2024 East London
    Ivana ·
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    You made it clear you want all of them to be present, and if someone cannot afford it then they would have to organise something within everyone's budget.

    Sounds like the person who has booked the holiday, has booked it for herself as she completely disregarded what you said, definitely doesn't care if everyone made it by what you have said. The fact that she said she will organise an afternoon together or something in the UK, afterwards she's enjoyed the holiday is weird. Why not just do that in the first place so everyone can come? Why do half of them have to miss out on this experience because of a rushed decision to book a good deal.

    To me if you said you want all of them there then that is what you need to stand for. The person booking it completely disregarded what you said.

    Even if you say enjoy both hen dos, how will you go away on a holiday without half of them, knowing the rest couldn't make it and actually wanted to come and be there for you and with you? I don't know, but that's my opinion.

    Have a discussion again and see where everyone is at and if everyone is fine with just half of you going away and then doing something else after. If everyone is fine with it then you have your answer. Personally for me, it is not nice so yeah I wouldn't have it.

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  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    5 out of 10 is great and your bridesmaid is excited? Has anyone pointed out to her that it's your hen do, not hers, so it doesn't really matter how excited she is if you're not?

    It sounds as if she has booked what she wants without regard for you or the other 5 hens who can't come.

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