Hen Do Etiquette?

Just be honest with them.....it is lovely that they are taking the time to organise it all for you but, as with everything, people have different budgets and priorities as to where they spend their money. At least if they give you an idea of cost now then you have time to either try and get the money together or ask them to make a few changes.

I agree there is no problem being honest with them now and asking how much roughly it will cost. They must know that you have the wedding and this other bill to pay at the moment, to think you have lots of extra cash lying around is thoughtless.

I've also never been on a hen party where the bride has paid for herself either??

My hen ended up costing about £175 per person (a bargain for what we're doing), but I went to settle up with my sister and she said not to worry- they're all paying my share! She just assumed it was the done thing. It was a completely lovely and unexpected surprise! So they might be planning on paying for you anyway, which will cut your costs? You should also not expect to buy a single drink all night! ?

I think i'm gonna mention it next time i see them, and just say, moneys tight and I'm happy with just a simple girls only meal out.
The only days they're all available is the day of little ones birthday party (13th July) or the weekend before the wedding (20th July) when I've got loads of appts for hair, nails etc. so i'm gonna have to take a day off work and move all appts to a week day, which hopefully work will allow considering i'm also having week after wedding off.

Theres like, 50 something days to go now and I'm beginning to flap trying to fit everything in. and I have an exam tomorrow so really can't be flapping as i need to get my head on studying as well. GAH - at the current rate of stress eating I'll be lucky to fit down the aisle lol

For some reason this is definitely not the done thing amongst our mates! No idea why as we're a generous bunch! No one seems to mind though - it's just how it is.

I agree the best thing is to talk to her. I'd do it soon before too much is arranged though.

If everyone knows that's the way it's done then cool, at least you all do it.

The next hen I'm going on (thank god not organising) is costing us all £9 extra to pay for the bride, no one minds.

When I organised my cousin's she offered to pay as she knew her friends would be arsey and not want to contribute to hers (we'd only gone to a party night so would have been about £2 each extra) but I'd already paid for hers myself, as I had also realised about the arsey friends!

If I was you id ask the planners to ask everyone to add £5 extra to cover you! Its your hen party. If I was going to a hen party i'd pay an extra £5 to cover the hen. Either that or ask them to add £5 on to everyones price without telling them why and then you pay whatever is left (hopefully nothing!)

Just be honest otherwise you'll only worry and then get yourself into more money problems.

Really hope it gets sorted for you, must be tough when you're getting married. When you need the money there's always something that comes up isnt there that just takes your money and catches you out.

xxx

Definitely let them know! They might have no idea about your financial situation, and hen weekends are really expensive! I organised my best friend's and it was a good couple of hundred!

If you know they're just doing one night local, you could maybe suggest that they ask everyone else to give £5 extra each to cover your share, people won't mind doing that as long as it's a small amount.

Hope you enjoy!

I'd be honest and say that you cant afford much at the moment, they must understand why....

if they still want to do it, then I am sure the other girls would chip in, so if they want to , accept it gladly and have a ball

you can have great fun on very little money, so it doesn't have to cost a fortune - does anyone have a big space, then all the gilrs could maybe bring a dish and a bottle and you can just have a fun evening together...

or all bring a pamper product and have a DIY spa...

having some fun with good friends is all its about xx

I've been told that the hen doesn't pay for herself either. I was getting a bit nervous when talk of weekends away costing £150 plus spending money were mentioned but was told by my girls that that included my share being split equally between them.

I would never expect my friends to split my cost between them, hen dos are expensive enough as it is and you could be faced with several a year costing £200 each, imagine if you had to then also split the cost of the hen at each one! For my best friend's we all paid for ourselves, me and the other bridesmaids paid for extra bits between us like a book with photos in which we made, food and drinks for the house we were staying in etc, and I made party bags with silly bits like willy straws etc. Everything big though i.e. travel, accommodation costs were paid by each girl for herself.