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Cache13
Beginner August 2015

Hen do heartache :( - Update (it's ridiculous!)

Cache13, 23 March, 2015 at 19:30

Posted on Planning 54

Seems like there are a lot of hen do related posts lately... And most aren't positive! Well here's another one for you.. My sister has been planning my hen do on and off since October last year. First all ten girls agreed Greece was a great excuse for a girls holiday in the spring, but at the time...

Seems like there are a lot of hen do related posts lately... And most aren't positive! Well here's another one for you..

My sister has been planning my hen do on and off since October last year. First all ten girls agreed Greece was a great excuse for a girls holiday in the spring, but at the time no great deals were to be found.

They agreed they would pay a deposit end of Jan, well that turned into end of Feb, and beginning of March a few people said they couldn't do that weekend anymore. This made the deal too expensive for everyone else.

my sister came up with plan B - a long weekend in Cambridge. Suddenly this threw up 100 issues with X wanting to join in Saturday only, Y wanting to do half of Sunday and leave in the morning, Z could do all three days. It meant she couldn't book accommodation as we would have to keep swapping places every night to accommodate changing numbers. Yet previously the dates weren't an issue and it was especially picked as a bank holiday weekend.

ao yesterday she found a deal for the Algarve, £250 each all in and one by one every person but 1 dropped out.

i feel really really let down, angry, and annoyed that only one girl would commit to my hen do when they've known about it for months. We all agreed from the beginning we didn't want just another night out in my home town. Even a cheap local deal they all turned their nose up at.

Why am I paying £80 a head each for them and their partner to come to my wedding when then can't even commit to a full day on a hen do? im the first of all of them to get married, that's why we were all so excited for the hen party as soon as I got engaged. They act so nice to my face, but actually won't go out of their way.

Feeling rather lonely now Smiley sad

54 replies

  • chels1315
    Beginner August 2015
    chels1315 ·
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    If it was planned as a girls holiday/hen do then i dont see what their problem is with paying £250.

    i would be furious if i found out that they were going away on another weekend but said they couldnt afford your hen do!

    i would just cross them off and go and have a fab time with who can make it. dont make it about them! its your hen do. if you want to go for a weekend away then do it! even if its only you and your sister you would still have an amazing time!!

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  • M
    Beginner March 2016
    MrsMtobe2016 ·
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    I think the Disney trip is completely different to your hen weekend. I assume the disney trip includes kids. This is therefore, to them, a considered more essential to them to spend their money on. If they were to go on the £250 hen weekend it would easily cost £500 and would be a trip just for them and not would include family (kids etc.)

    I don't think people should expect other people (friends/family) to spend a fortune or commit time to an event just because you have decided to get married. A hen weekend is fun but often means spending time and money with people you don't really know. That's a big commitment to expect of people.

    I would have loved a weekend away for my hen but I don't want to ask people to spend a fortune and worry about money because I'm getting married. I'm now doing a night out which includes dinner and dancing and all my friends and family can come.

    xx

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  • bliss_balloons
    bliss_balloons ·
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    I can understand why you're upset but maybe they'd just prefer to go to disneyland rather than Greece? It's a lot of money to spend if it's not something they're really that bothered about doing. I would let go of the idea and start planing something else, people will always let you down but you can still have a great hen do with those that do make the effort to go.

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  • Cache13
    Beginner August 2015
    Cache13 ·
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    Nope!! Kids are being left behind and it's a adults only girls holiday!!!

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  • H
    Beginner July 2016
    HeavyMetalMaiden ·
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    Cache13 - HIJACK THE DISNEY WEEKEND AS YOUR HEN!!!!!

    When it is all booked just innocently say, 'Oooo we could kill 2 birds with one stone and celebrate my hen at the same time!!' Smiley smile

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  • Cache13
    Beginner August 2015
    Cache13 ·
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    But they've just booked an alternative adults only girls holiday? It's no different just not by the beach? As mentioned in my previous posts we have now booked a UK destination.

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  • Cache13
    Beginner August 2015
    Cache13 ·
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    Haha I love this!! Unfortunately not all of the girls were invited and the 'purpose' of the Disney trip is one of the girl's birthday's in June. Otherwise I would have Smiley smile

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  • H
    Beginner July 2016
    HeavyMetalMaiden ·
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    In that case, have a another separate hen at home with the others, and with this girls' birthday - it is only going to be on ONE DAY, have the other day as your hen!! No thunder stolen Smiley laugh Smiley laugh

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  • MrsShep
    Beginner September 2014
    MrsShep ·
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    Ok, ID I can just about get because she's up north, but Miss Winter, you're down south! How on earth do you get away with that?!

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  • MrsShep
    Beginner September 2014
    MrsShep ·
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    Cache, I really don't know what to say re this whole situation. I know everyone says you can't dictate etc, but i can totally see why you're p1ssed off, particularly when they were the ones who wanted to go to Greece in the first place, and now they're going on a kids holiday without kids for a birthday, when a hen do is a one off thing. Bleurgh. Bugger them and we'll have a hitcher hen for you Smiley smile

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  • AKWedding
    Beginner August 2015
    AKWedding ·
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    Catching up with threads. I can so understand why you would be annoyed if your friends found the money to go to Disneyland Paris but couldn't go to your hen do.

    I think it depends on what you want most of all, whether it is to be surrounded by all your friends or to go abroad, or maybe try to come up with a solution which encompasses both.

    Is the deal for the Algarve still available? How many people were prepared to go to that? Small groups can be nice sometimes - it gives people a chance to talk properly, rather than having to flit between people and make sure they are ok.

    You could still go abroad with the people who are willing and have a cheap, low-key event for the others who can't do the overseas trip. The memories you have from your overseas trip will hopefully cancel out all the ill feeling from this debacle. As long as it is what you want, and you don't look back with regret.

    As lots of people have said, they will all be there on your wedding day and that will be the day that you get to spend with all of them.

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  • miss_winter14
    Beginner February 2014
    miss_winter14 ·
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    i must just be a cheap date Smiley winking lol

    hampshire isn't quite as bad as one would think. not everywhere anyways lol. though i'm the apex of surrey and berks as well so i too am surprised how well i do lol

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  • MrsShep
    Beginner September 2014
    MrsShep ·
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    I live in Southampton but grew up round Brighton, other than brief visits up north I've never seen a cheap drink! I can't drink a lot but still spend a lot more than you! Although we do need the taxi etc

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  • bliss_balloons
    bliss_balloons ·
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    4 drinks? That explains it then takes me about 8 to get tipsy!

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  • S
    Beginner December 2018
    Sadieee ·
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    Just read your update and id be bloody annoyed! If money was thr problem or time etc then thats one thing but to then book a girly holiday away is, to me, quite thoughtless. Is there a member of the disney group.you are close enough to to actually ask them why it's happened like it has and explain you're upset over the recent development?

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  • M
    Beginner September 2015
    MrsEdisToBe ·
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    I can totally understand why your upset and I would be too but you have to draw a line under it. If you don't put an end to it you will stew over it and then not enjoy your hen do as a result! Just think of how much fun the event will be and the people that will there will mean a lot to you! X

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  • H
    Beginner October 2015
    HappyBrownCars255 ·
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    Hi

    I am organising my own hen do partly as I have chosen to not have adult bridesmaids only my 5 year old daughter, but mainly because I want to organise what I want to do myself. It did throw up some arguments over dates to start with but all 14 have committed to 3rd Oct, 1 month before the wedding. I have booked pink hummer limo, meal and overnight stay in Bristol with VIP area and drinks in an 80s bar. I have chosen a theme of pink ladies from Grease all deposited and organised already ???

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  • pink & glitz
    Beginner August 2014
    pink & glitz ·
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    Read your update. No wonder you are upset. I would be dumping those friends......hope you are okay xx

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