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Hen do issues :-(

Bells12, 4 April, 2014 at 16:28 Posted on Planning 0 3

So I thought I'd got my hen do all sorted. Having listened to my bridesmaids unspportive reponse to what I wanted to do I changed to a theme park one day and an activity on the next as this was what everyone seemed to want. I sent out invites and got yes's/no's back, fine so I thought. I sent further info re cost etc and still everything was fine. I asked finally to make sure and told everyone that I had to pay when I booked, most asked for my bank detials there and then so I still thought everything was fine. Its now 1 week to go and I've had 4 drop out ☹️I thought this might happen so booked allowing for 2 to drop out but not 4! If I cancel, I lose all my money, if anymore drop out I'll have to speak to the centre as there's a minimum number on the activity. I'm so upset! the activity was £30!, I'm providing the accomodation and food the night before, it's not exactly an expensive weekend!. One has said that she can't afford it as she's had her car break down and has just booked her holidays (and shes my tog too, so can't afford to upset her) and the other has said she's not well enough (but well enough to still compete her horse!) neither have offered to pay and because the £30 was based on 8, and the others have paid, I'm out of pocket £60. One of the girls who cancelled early on offered to pay, but I counted her as one of my "drop outs" I told her I'd allowed for 2 and not to worry about it. Sorry this is a bit more like a rant but I'm so upset they left it so late to tell me, left me with the bill and have nearly ruined my hen before it's even started! They are both day guests with partners and when I think of what I've spent on them and the consideration I've gone to for my guests and they can't even afford me a little thought!!! Arhhh!

3 replies

Latest activity by Bells12, 4 April, 2014 at 18:01
  • lottie.f
    Beginner July 2014
    lottie.f ·
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    It's a shame they have not been more supportive. I am still waiting for one of my bridesmaid's to pay me back for my hen to, which I booked it months ago and have reminded her. It's a shame that friends can be thoughtless about the impact of dropping out or not paying! How many do you have going now? Is there anyone else you could invite to take their places?

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  • *
    Beginner April 2014
    *PN* ·
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    I can sympathise as this kind of happened to me. I originally asked who was up for it, about 14 was but as payment neared I had about 6 drop out and 2 I wasn't 100% would pay. I too had a minimum of 8, and although in the end I had 8, I had prepared myself to have to pay for the other 2. I had to pay for the 2 I wasn't 100% and they paid me on the day. It wasn't ideal. It definitely ruined the run up to the hen do. I had it last week in fact, and it was amazing!

    Is there anyone else you could invite?

    I think sometimes people forget (especially if they aren't married) how stressful it is to organise a hen do and a wedding.

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  • I-go-by-many-names
    Super April 2015
    I-go-by-many-names ·
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    That's poo. People are poo. Even the ones you thought weren't. If it were me I would try to get the money off them, perhaps call them and 'remind them' what they owe you. Then if they protest remind them that they had committed to paying it. If they are mates, surely they wouldn't willingly put you out of pocket? Perhaps this is a case of them not really realising the impact.

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  • B
    Beginner
    Bells12 ·
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    I've told one I will see if I can find anyone else to 'cover the cost' but even with this prompt I've had no reply. When she told me she was too ill, she went on to say how her bloke was flying back just for my wedding (he's a flight attendant) and how privileged I was to have them attend! I lived with these two girls at uni and just can't believe how they've changed.

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