Right ladies……as promised my hen night report!
As I mentioned before I had absolutely no idea what I was doing for my hen do, it had been kept a complete secret from me. On the lead up however all my friends had started a sort of facebook campaign about “The wombles”. They were convincing me that the fancy dress theme was the wombles, it became so convincing that I was no longer sure if it was a red herring or not!!
Friday
My bridesmaids arrived early on Friday and we jumped on a train into London and hit Oxford Street. We were shopping for my wedding underwear which my little sister had offered to buy for me which I thought was lovely. We searched all the department stores and I bought some gorgeous “honeymoon” underwear to flit around in!!
We bought the new strapless wonderbra that doesn’t fall down for under my dress and then for the “wedding night” we got this……
Eventually I was manoeuvred out of the car and into a building where I could hear my friends! They took my blindfold off to a hotel room full of friends and balloons!!! We drank bubbly and I was presented with a hen party sash and a hat/fascinator with “bride to be” on it!
Next we went for a walk….with the blindfold back on!!! Not easy!!!!
Eventually we arrived at out destination where more friends were waiting. I had to work out who they were whilst blindfolded!
It was revealed that we were at Kempton races for the first day of flat racing of the season!!! I’ve never been racing before and I was so excited!! I bet on all the horses that looked like my Denzel (that was a lot, there are a lot of bay racehorses!!) I didn’t win anything though!! Rubbish!!
We were accosted by a “punt” with some very posh men in it which was hilarious but all rather odd!!
And we met a stag……
After the racing we went back to the hotel (I could see this time), and I was presented with my next outfit!!!
A tudor lady costume…I should explain here that I am a total geek and LOVE the tudors! I religiously watch the TV series and have read all Phillippa Gregory’s books. I visited the tower of London for valentines day and we went to Hever castle for my BM’s birthday (who’s also a tudor geek).
So it was revealed that we were heading to a tudor banquet in London!! I was VERY excited by this, this excitement increased when I saw everyone else’s outfits!! AMAZING!!!!
After many an odd look on the train we arrived at our destination! It was amazing!! Lots of long tables each assigned a “wench” as our waitress. All the alcohol was included and if we wanted anything we had to bang on our table and shout “WENCH” as loud as possible! There was entertainment throughout the night including contortionists, jugglers dancers etc, and Henry VIII was there with his 1st wife Catherine of Aragon! They sang a lot! Lol!
We drank a rather large volume of red wine….out of a huge tankard….I have no idea how much I drank!
There was also sword fighting and we all fell for one of the knights, who I later had a dance with!
Tudor dancing followed which was hilarious and then the music changed to moderns chart music etc. It was surreal watching a load of ladies and wenches dancing to lady gaga!!
We met a stag party and a dance-off ensued! We pulled our trump card a bit early with my talented BM pulling out her breakdancing moves, but we still whipped them!! Then I danced with the stag and the bridesmaids danced with the best man…….then my only single bridesmaid pulled the best man!!! This NEVER happens, she NEVER snogs in public and I was soooo pleased!!!! They have been texting each other ever since!! How romantic, be awesome if they went of a date because of MY hen do!!
After a hilarious night of dancing we moved onto a VERY posh bar….still in our tudor outfits! We took over the decks and started playing cheesy music like dirty dancing and songs from sex and the city! We then went to get random men dancing, I stole a man from a date! I met the girl in the toilets and she thanked me! Lol!!
One of my hens then began some rather impressive red wine induced projectile vomiting in the toilets!! I was ordered to go back to the dancing as I wasn’t allowed to deal with any stress! I was on a massive high anyway, so I left her to it, she always drinks too much!!
Finally we headed home in a minibus (drunk hen vomited! oops!). I cried as we passed the millennium bridge, its where steve proposed. I left a very soppy message on his answerphone at this point!! However according to him (and everyone else) I kept calling it the melanin bridge! I got very excited when we did a 3 point turn on Tower Bridge! Lol! Apparently I was also shouting at EVERY ambulance we passed in the hope that Steve was in it! (I wasn’t wishing bad things on him, he’s a paramedic in central London and was working nights….there was potential for him to have been on one!)
Sunday
I made it to bed at 5am and was up at 9, which with the clocks changing gave me a whole 3 hours sleep! 9am delivered me a massive headache, but apart from that I felt amazingly fine!!
We had a lovely greasy breakfast and then went off to Hampton Court Palace (more tudor theme)!
It was a beautiful day! The sun was out and we were wandering around in T-shirts! Had a yummy ice cream and investigated all parts of the palace. There were re-enactments going on and in one room Henry VIII was meeting member of his “court” to hear requests and receive gifts etc! His lady in waiting was getting people out of a large crowd to ask him things. One man asked if he could join him on a hunting trip, a small child asked for a place in his daughters household……my hens then SHOVED me forwards and I ended up on bended knee in front of a huge crowd!!!!
I asked him for permission to marry Sir Salvatore of Italy! HAHA! He asked if he had money and estates! I said that he did and then he asked if my parents agreed to the match, he then asked my Mum to come forward, so we are now both on one knee in from of him!! It was hilarious and so embarrassing!!! But thankfully he granted my permission to marry! Lol!!
I had a lovely day and my girls had put so much effort into the whole weekend!! I fell asleep in the car on the way home! Totally knackered!!
For those of you who are being kept in the dark by your hens, don’t get worried, let them do it! I guarantee they’ll pull it off! Mine did such a fantastic job and I have never felt so special and so loved!!!
It was an odd feeling though, being on my own hen night, it made it very real! I’m getting married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow! This got long! I dread to think how long my wedding report will end up being!! Well done and thank you if you made it to the end!!!!!!!!
