Hello all,
This is a bit of a funny situation, which I know would have been solved by being more upfront in the first place! But I feel past resentment might spill over into my friend's wedding :/
I got married last year, and one of my bridesmaids planned my hen do. I told her the bare bones of what I wanted and she booked the restaurant, no problem.
However, as the hen approached (two weeks in advance) I was realising that she wasn't planning on organising anything bar the restaurant I had asked for: I had people coming from all over the country and abroad so imagined maybe some surprise fun might be planned for the daytime. Also, she told me she couldn't stay for more than the meal herself as she had another party the next day 
Friends confirmed that they had heard nothing about anything but the restaurant. Stupidly, rather than confronting her (she was having a bad time with her boyfriend, who she wanted to marry but he didn't feel the same at the time - I thought i was being sensitive....) I took matters into my own hands and sorted some activities: I included her as an admin on the social networking group, so she could mention anything else and still be involved.
Anyway, she was rather miserable at the do saying she was ill and went home. I was worried I had hurt her feelings by taking over.
When it comes to the wedding, she looked very unhappy - with a face like thunder in some of the pictures! Some of my other friends, I later gathered, were rather rude about her to other guests at the reception having been peeved by the hen do situation.
After the wedding she confronts me and says that I must have been slagging her off, because ALL my friends hated her at the wedding. I said that some were a bit bitchy and were probably unimpressed that she didn't stay for the whole hen. Now she brings it up all the time, slagging off my other friends and I feel really torn....
Now my friend is getting married and I am a bridesmaid. Her hen-do has been planned by another bridesmaid (not me!) and she has included loads of really nice surprises and treats. Even though my hen has passed, and I want to move on with the friendship, I can't help but still be a little resentful that she didn't make the effort for me...
Should I confront her and tell her I had been unhappy about the hen planning? It all seems so childish, and in the past. Also, I was sympathetic to her at the time and can't help it if some of my friends decided to get offended on my behalf? Am I a total wimp?
