Hen do - sadness

I think you need to sit down and have a heart to heart with your MoH to see just what is at the bottom of this. She perhaps feels really upset that you couldn't trust her to organise something that you would enjoy. She might have had some ideas herself. But you need to talk it through. She's clearly feeling upset.

Then, and only then, could you look to do a private group on FB for the arrangements.

Did you talk to anyone about what you were thinking of before you booked it? Are all the other hens happy with it?

This isn't the first problem you've had with her, she sounds a bit selfish tbh. Is she jealous of the wedding?

Yup I spoke to everyone before I booked to make sure it was all ok to go a head with it all and everyone was happy with the plans. She didnt really have any plans as far as I'm aware. I said to her I want a fun hen do, she said she wouldn't have done any thing fun (meaning going out etc) because it's not what she likes.

I can see your point of view though maybe ive stepped on her toes and taken over. But I really want to do something different and have fun. I've booked it and said to my MOH your now in charge of the fun and games etc, her reaction was oh god I don't wanna do any games. So this was my reason for taking over a bit. I think now I will just let her sort the rest out to make her feel involved.

Hun, I don't think you have anything to reproach yourself for at all. She sounds like a nightmare and needs reminding of what her role as MoH is. It's her job to look after you and do what you want, not what she wants, within reason of course.

my daughter is my MoH and has been amazing. All the time she asks what it is that I want. I do think you need to have a serious talk with your friend though and ask her if she actually wants to be your MoH. It's not about bridezilla but what is right. You want someone in the role who wants to do it end to end, not just claim the glory on your wedding day.

xx

She was very at first. We had just brought our first home got engaged and started planning a wedding. I think, maybe I unintentionally was going on about it a bit too much. She's not so bad anymore. She's pretty outspoken person anyway, so will always have her opinion. But at first everything was negitive.

ive just text her and given her all control of the hen do. I said to her ive just realised I'm taking away all the fun MOH duties and if she's happy to, she can do all the rest of the organising.

I do have a bit of a problem of being a control freak anyway. So I told her to tell me off if I try and take over.

hopefully will make her feel a bit better and want to come if she's done the organising. But I did say I wanted fun entertainment and I'm open to anything!

As the others have said, you need to have a chat with her about it. It's your hen party, yes she should have some form of planning involvement but she should plan something that you would want to do regardless of whether it's her idea of fun or not. If you were her BM I doubt you would plan a weekend away in magaluf to party the whole time, you would plan what she wants.

My MOH has been fab, I've had texts telling me my wedding comes first, she's called just to see if I've got any updates and she's asked me for a few different ideas for my hen and she's going to pick from those and surprise me. She's really into it and that's what your MOH should be like, it does sound like she's being selfish. I really hope you work it out with her xx

So after I first posted this message I did set up a event page, then after reading coments and my post, like i said maybe ive stepped on her toes a bit.

This is what my event info had;

Butlins- hen weekend
Cost of the booking is £151.15pp this includes our rooms, breakfast and dinner. Does not include any activities or alcoholic beverages, so if you can- please bring some spending money :-D
The total amount is due by September 4th 2015. To make it easier on your pockets, pease feel free to pay bits here and there. I can pay it onto the account at any time.

Feel free to plan any fun hen games between you all. I will be leaving this group so you can!!... I'm up for anything ;-)
Have fun,

Jess xx

Then realised that I may be taking control so txt this to MOH;

My txt-

No rest for the wicked. The event I've just made for the hen do I can't leave it, so as my beautiful maid of honor could you be in charge of making a new one and organising it for me hun? Only took about five minutes, just copy and paste the info if you like or you can write what ever you like. Just thought im taking all the fun maid of honor duties away from you. I have a habit of doing things like that just tell me off if I do it again lol. I'm a control freak lol. So I'll leave it in your hands now hun if you are happy with that?? xxx

her reply-

How dare you lol!! It's fine tbh I should of done something sonner!! Of cors hun I'll do it soon just not sure how to lol but I'll figure it out!! I'm quite busy today but I will get round to doing it xx

I do feel a bit better for handing that over to her, less stress with trying to arrange something else also. I just hope I don't get comments that she may not come and that she does make it a fun experience for me. I don't ever go out and have fun like that anymore!!

I couldn't imagine not having her as my MOH to be honest. I've know her for 13 years, we have been best friend through all high school and have been all of our early adult years. I hope we still are for many years to come.

Glad you resolved it with her!! Well done for being honest with her. I'm sure she appreciates it. Good luck with the rest of it and enjoy your hen do.