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Hen do stress

17 of February of 2015 at 18:24 Posted on Planning 0 4
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Im hoping you guys can maybe offer me some advise, because my hen do is bringing me to tears.

Firstly my best friends are boys, Ive never really had any female friends so Ive never done the "girly night out thing".

My BMs are my future SIL and Cousin, I gave up on trying to plan my own hen party how I wanted it when one BM booked a random Saturday off before my wedding saying I had said this is when I wanted it (never happened). This means that someone who I am close with cannot come as she is abroad. BM2 said she doesn't have to go if I want it another day as she cant get another weekend off (due to job)...but obviously I know my BMs should be there.

My original plan was going to be cocktail making, a meal and then a drag queen show/club, total cost per person would be approx. £55 - bare in mind this includes a meal and free drinks and snacks at the cocktail making. But BM2 said she thought this was all too expensive. Other people I know have gone away for weekends for their hen do's so I thought I was keeping it reasonable?

Now they are asking me for who I want to come, mums have already invited themselves and some other family members and now BM1 wants her best friend and her and my fiances cousins girlfriend to come so they can meet people before the wedding and BM2 has invited her brothers girlfriend. I wasn't planning on having a HD as a meet and greet for everyone. It feels like everything is spiralling out of control and Im going to be on a cheap tacky night out with a bunch of people I barely know, and not able to fully relax as mums are there (Im not that close with my own mum).

But the dilemma I have is that we had to be so strict with things at the wedding and tell people we couldn't invite people they wanted there, its making me feel a bit like I should just suck it up for one night; treat it more as a night for everyone else as Im going to have my big day anyway.

Has anyone else just put up with their hen do for other people?

thanks

xx

4 replies

Latest activity by FizzyPixie, 19 of February of 2015 at 13:47
  • P
    Beginner August 2015
    Purplecake ·
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    I can understand the being bought to tears over it! It's the one section for a lot of brides that is out of their control, so whilst it isn't going exactly as you planned can you take comfort in the fact that despite not feeling like you have a lot of female friends, there's actually a lot of people out there who want to celebrate with you and join in?

    If it's really not what you want and feel uncomfortable with it maybe you should change it so your male friends can come; you make the rules up yourself!

    I don't have a lot of friends either but considered a good 5 to be certains, only to be disappointed that my BM is very lax in organising it and it's not moving anywhere. I haven't even had the date of it 100% confirmed despite asking in December, and saying in January that i was worried about it. So mine is probably going to end up with me, BM, and FSIL sadly sat alone somewhere lol ?

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  • M
    Beginner May 2016
    mkw ·
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    Really sorry to hear this, how frustrating! Can totally see why you're upset. Some of my closest friends are boys too, so I understand how you feel. My plan is to have both a hen do and a stag do on separate occasions so that I can celebrate with my guy friends too (although that will pretty much just be a trip to the pub, nothing big). Could you perhaps do something like that? The hen do could be more of a meet and greet with all the extra people, and then you could have your proper knees up with your male friends? Just a thought...

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  • I-go-by-many-names
    Super April 2015
    I-go-by-many-names ·
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    Easy solution- have 2. One to please people, the other with your nearest and dearest. And as for the having close male friends thing, invite them too. I've been to a couple of hen dos now where men have attended too. My own OH is having 3 women attend his stag as they are 3 of his closest friends so why not?

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  • F
    Beginner November 2015
    FizzyPixie ·
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    I'm having two.

    One sedate drinks and afternoon tea for the Mum's and non-drinkers.

    Then a HAG night for all my friends male and female. Keeping it simple and doing a black tie pub crawl. Nothing hideous.

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