Hen do surprise

I am totally with you there. I cannot handle not knowing things, its for this reason I have had a pretty large involvement with my hen. My MOH wasn't surprised I wanted to guide things, she's known me long enough haha. If you want to know and it will make you feel more relaxed and excited, I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for a few details. Perhaps keep some of it a surprise but ask her to tell you enough that you know what to take and you can stop stressing.

I am 1st June, so I know how you feel. I'm 6 weeks away and I cannot believe how quickly things are happening now. I stupidly arranged my hen only a week and a half before my wedding, so the last couple of weeks will be very full on.

View quoted message I’m definitely regretting agreeing to a surprise as I am the same and can’t cope not having some control over things. I get that it’s taken some thought and effort to organise a surprise for me. I know I need a white dress a bikini and that I’m not going out of the country. Maybe it’s enough to know but I still feel very anxious. Oh how exciting! Not long off at all. What kind of wedding are you having? What are you doing for your hen do? Thanks for responding to my post

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The other thing is that wedding planning as a whole is stressful. You might just be stressed with it all and that's why your more anxious about the hen.
I'm having a church wedding followed by a reception at a Manor house. We have booked a converted barn in Norfolk with a hot tub. I'm hoping it will be sunny hahaWhat sort of weddinf is yours?

View quoted message Yeah it has been stressful lately we’ve sorted a lot out but it seems the small stuff is causing problems now. We’ve been planning since we got engaged a year ago. Aww that sounds absolutely lovely and the hen sounds great too, hope it’s nice and sunny. We are having a church ceremony then a reception at our local village hall.

My sister did me a surprise hen and it was perfect, she knows me well enough to know what I would/wouldn't like. I asked her a week or so before what I needed to pack and she had said a while before she wanted me to have a white dress for the evening, I don't like white so I refused ( as I don't find it flattering on me) but said I would get a nice outfit. She invited all the people I would have invited and I had the best weekend.
Hope yours works out the same and you have a lovely time

View quoted message Hi Tanya,


My sister does know me well and I did say a few things that I really wouldn’t like so hopefully she doesn’t do those! Yeh I’ve been told a white dress too which I never wear so haven’t a clue what suits me. I gave her a list of who to invite so that’s sorted too. It’s just my anxiety when something big is coming up and how to prep that drives me mad usually let alone my own hen do. Thanks tho I’m sure I’ll all be ok in the end! Xx

I was the same as you - I said I was happy for it to be a surprise but then really stressed about it in the run up! Ultimately though it was an absolutely perfect weekend, and I’m so pleased I didn’t know anything in advance because it was so much fun having all the little reveals at each point!
One thing my sister did to help my anxiety was not only tell me what to pack, but also told me exactly what she was packing so I knew I was going along the right lines. She also told me at each stage of the hen do when the surprises were over so I could relax and enjoy what was there without wondering if there was something else coming (for example when we went for dinner and drinks on the first night, she said that was it and there wasn’t a big twist later so I wouldn’t have to worry about Mr Blobby jumping out at me).

If it's worrying you that much, I don't think there's any harm in asking for an outline of her plans. You obviously trust her not to do anything that you'd really hate, so you probably wont' want to know the details, but a general idea of the overall feel of the weekend might help you feel less anxious.

I'm the other way round, I was always sure I wanted to plan my own hen do but when it came to planning the hen do on top of the wedding I just couldn't deal with the stress so I have handed the hen do over to my MoH now. She knows me well enough, I've told her what I want and what I don't want and I trust that she'll sort it out for me. It is scary letting go of control though so maybe ask her for a bit more information that makes you feel comfortable x

My 2 sisters planned a surprise hen party for me too, I didn’t know any information at all until 3 weeks before I flew. Even then they only told me that I’d need my passport, and to take summery clothes with me. 2 weekends ago my mother was talking to my cousin and she said that the weather wasn’t great where we were going… it set my anxiety off and I was getting really anxious about where I was going 🙈 my sisters and mam all took me out for food the day before we flew and gave me an envelope with the location in, honestly as anxious as I was towards the end the surprise was so worth it! Maybe just ask them if there is any particular dress codes, ask if a passport is needed and hopefully it’ll put
Your mind at ease 🤞🏼

Yeah I’ve asked for a list of what I’ll need to bring. Flip flops casual clothes for day and a white out for night. I know it’s not out of the country, a few hours away. I’m feeling less anxious now. My mum has told me that my sister has gone to a lot of effort and really tried to plan what she thinks I would like so I’m going to just go with the flow now and enjoy it.

View quoted message Awww that sounds absolutely lovely. Where did you fly to? I said not abroad as we ( me and h2b) agreed on that so the cost wasn’t too much. H2b went to Dublin last week so slightly gutted I won’t get to go away but excited for a get away! I know what I need to pack and my mum has reassured me that my sister has given lots of thoughts to what I would love and I’ve got nothing to worry about! I guess I need to go shopping and start getting ready maybe treat myself to having my nails done haha