Hen do Upset :-(

Poor you I think sometimes you find out who your real friends are when hen dos are mentioned. I've not organised mine yet but my best friend is getting married just before me andher hen do is costing loads so I'm already anticipating lots of people saying they can't make it as they'll be broke!

Do you know why the others declined? I only ask as if it's money, maybe you could change the plan a bit to leep the cost down? If not s*d them!

x

Awwww, hun!

I'm sure you're not an unpopular bride - I bet they've all RSVP'd yes to the wedding? Hope they've all given you blo*dy good reasons as to why they can't come.

We've got our wedding & another friend's within a week of each other so I'm sure I'll probably have the same thing happen!

I'm so sorry sweetie this is really upsetting. Unfortunately spring summer is such a busy time for weddings, holidays etc that often people are busy and prioritise other things over hen do's. Also in the current economic situation a lot of people can't afford to splash out on a big fancy night out even though they would love to be there to celebrate with the bride. If thinking of your friends you think this might be the case why not try opting for something more affordable or even hosting/asking MOH to host a bridal shower/party US style with finger food - these can be really classy with a bit of thought. You can then enjoy your special night with MOH and a few friends. I'm sure its nothing to do with them not wanting to come - i certainly wouldnt turn down a night like that without good reason - sounds fab! Whatever you do i hope you have a lovely time!

Was it arranged with quite short notice? I just looked at your ticker and looks like not long till the big day, I found that we had to arrange my hen do months in advance to find a date everyone could do (and even then only 2/3rds of people can make it...)

Also is cost a factor? Sounds from what you describe as though the cost per person could be quite a bit and at the moment a lot of people are just trying to tighten purse strings.

Overall though no - definitely not unpopular bride! I'm sure the declining people have good reasons and don't mean it to hurt you at all. xx

The night isnt that pricey to be honest, £35 for limo and meal is about £12 for a main. One is on holiday, one is on her own 'work hen do', one is apparently working all day and night (mmmmmm?) and the others just said no.

Great, always thought i had a lot of friends, maybe not as i thought. They are all coming to the wedding all day.

My maid of honor asked them about 4 weeks ago, the last person to respond replied yesterday.

Oh well :-(

*hugs* try not to dwell on it - just remember what the main goal is here - wedding, marriage. To be honest I wasn't overly bothered about a hen do - we decided one nite away, as cheap as possible. Still my chief BM (its another BM who's organised as Chief is a seriously self centred + in a strop becasue she's not seeing my dress until the day) said to all suggestions either 'I can't do that wkend' or I can't afford it' (but she can afford new boots, spa days etc) but as she tellin another BM these excuses I'm not in a position to have it out with her _ when she got married 4yrs ago I went to absolutely everything she asked me + took the wk off b4 wedding to be her dogsbody. So the moral here is don't think that becasue uve done right for people that they will automatically do it for u. The other side of things is that maybe they already have other plans. Its hard when this is ur one big day + people u thought would make effort just don't. Everyone has their own lives + its never possible to have a nite that suits everyone. Make the most of it with the 4 who have said yes & have a really great fun evening - its quality Not quantity! X

Aww,please don't be down,try to look at it that half are able to make it. I have the most fun with a just few of my friends and that is exactly how i want my hen do to be ,just four or five no more.x

AHhh u ladies are soo lovely. It really hurts but i guess the main thing is that they are all they on the big day.

I had a load of friends decline my hen do invite as well (can't blame short notice because it was organised a good 2 months in advance; can't blame money because it was a meal out followed by a party at my house!) and it really upset me until the actual night when I had the most AMAZING time and decided that all my friends who did come are lovely, wonderful people and I didn't miss the others at all*

*bar one, who did admittedly have very, very good reasons for not coming!

I wouldnt worry to much about it, im in a similar position, i even considered not having one but i thought i best and some who i thought would be definate yes actually said NO!

Lucie you are not the only one!!! most of my friends are littered round the country and they have mostly said they won't be coming... well i can't be bothered to beg everyone to come to my hen do even though i went to great lengths to go to theirs!

I have just made the decision that maybe some of the friendships have run their course and if they can't make the effort after the wedding i am not going to bother any more.

Personally I believe that hen/stag do's are meaningless additions to the whole overcommercialised circus that modern weddings have become.

All that matters is you and your partner saying "I do". All the rest - dresses, food, drink, favours, fancy cars, disco etc, are extras, as much as we might like to think they're "essential".

If I was invited to an event like yours, £12 for a meal is quite reasonable but I have to admit I'd think twice about paying £35 on top for a limo. Presumably on top of that you have drinks too (which are never cheap on a night out) and transport to/from their homes - you could be looking at £75-£100 for a night out easily per head (and that's without factoring childcare into it if necessary), and as others have said, that's not small change let alone when people are having to cut back on non-essential things; let's face it, given a night out or feeding your family for a week I think most of us would choose the latter, regardless of how much we thought of the person the night out was for.

For various reasons (distance, cost, etc.) I invited about 10 people to my hen do and for the day I had 3 and 5 for the evening. We had an amazing time though!

Thanks you have all made me eel soo much better. I'm happier knowing im not the only one this has happened to. I'm considering adjusting my plans and maybe having a cheaper do!

My hen weekend was planned last September as it was important for me to have my closest friends there, alot of them have children and with the hen being June I wanted to give my friends as much notice as possible for them to do what they needed to do. I invited 15 and 10 are coming, if I had asked them with a 1/2 months to go before the big day I think alot more of my friends would have struggled. I wouldnt take it personally though, I am sure you will still have an amzing time and you'll wonder why you cared in the first place, quality beats quantity every time x

I didn't want a hen do for this very reason.

I arranged a night out for my birthday a few years ago and out of the 20 people who originally said they would come, only 5 actually made it. My best friend in the world couldn't come because she was breast feeding and my other best friend just started ignoring me for no apparent reason.

So I left the hen in the hands of my BM's and am having kittens about it now. Loads of people have said they can't make it that weekend so have talked me into having a more low key affair nearer to home the following week (which I didn't really want either). it's so hard not to take it personally and from experience, I really feel for you and send you a big massive hug xxx

I guess the thing - which only you can answer - is which is more important; what you do, or who is there enjoying it with you.

From a guest's perspective:

I'm invited to a wedding - £150 new outfit etc for me, £100 new shirt/tie/shoes for my OH. Add £50+ for a room following the wedding. Another £50 for a gift. Then some more money for drinks all evening, plus travel. Thats a fair whack just to go to the wedding. And then I'm expected find MORE money (£100?) to go to a hen night? I couldn't find that much cash.

In reality I'd opt to wear an existing outfit, drink coke all night at the wedding and drive home to save some pennies so I could go to the hen night too, but the cost adds up. I had 4 people delcine my hen night (first time round) on the grounds that they couldn't afford it. I'm expecting a few this time, but then I'm inviting a few who aren't coming to the wedding so they won't have the money excuse!

Sorry to hear that xxx