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Beginner November 2024 West Midlands

Hen do worries

Danielle, 16 of October of 2023 at 17:07 Posted on Etiquette and Advice 0 5
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Hi all, after a bit of advice.


Feel like my Family are taking over 😅 apologies for the long rant!

I very much want my hen do to be a surprise in terms of planning and stuff other then knowing where we are going but I’m also very nervous about it.
My sister is my maid of Honour and we couldn’t be more opposite in terms of how we celebrate things. I barley drink at all like the odd drink if we go for dinner or at a concert or something.
My sister is quite a heavy drinker. I’m a bit worried that my hen do is going to involve a lot of drinker and I just don’t want that.
Some of my family and friends can’t go abroad for medical reasons and I’m not really one for asking people to spend money they don’t have. So I’ve agreed to have a little weekend away in the UK at maybe Butlins or something. My mum has got a bit carried away and started inviting literally any female family member I have and I’m just a bit over whelmed and don’t know how to tell her I don’t want all these people I only see once a year at my hen do!
Sorry for the long rant but needed to write it down before I exploded 🫣

5 replies

Latest activity by Danielle, 8 of January of 2024 at 10:52
  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    You need to be specific about things you want and don't want. Your hen do can still be a surprise if you set down some boundaries for it.

    E.g.

    1) I do not want my hen do to cost more than £x per head as I don't want cost to prevent anyone coming

    2) The people I would like to be invited are:

    3) Things I do not want to feature in my hen do are:

    4) Things I would love to be part of my hen do are:

    Hopefully, even if your sister has very different tastes, she will want your hen do to be good for you and will listen to what you say.

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  • Ivana
    Dedicated August 2024 East London
    Ivana ·
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    Hi, I agree with the reply above, even if you want it to be a surprise, you still need to let her know what you want and don't want so you are not disappointed, especially since you are worried already about it. Be honest and set rules for it.

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  • Sarah
    Rockstar August 2024 Warwickshire
    Sarah ·
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    Absolutely agree with the first comment. Just have an open an honest conversation.
    It’s your hen do, nobody else’s!
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  • Katrina
    Dedicated February 2025 West Midlands
    Katrina ·
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    Remember it's your hen do. I think I will be planning mine out with a few girls. Thinking of going to a Spa. I expect them to pay for themselves. You should talk with your Mum & let her know you don't want to many people. Have a number in mind. Best to stand up for yourself!=) best of luck let me know how it goes!♡
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  • D
    Beginner November 2024 West Midlands
    Danielle ·
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    View quoted message
    Hey lovely, just thought I would put a quick update. Spoke with my mum and sister and said I dont want anything major and they were happy to listen to me.


    Instead of a weekend away we are just going to do a night out a tribute act. Then me, my mum and my bridesmaids are going to go have a spa weekend!
    Glad I said something as it is the only thing during the wedding planing that has been stressing me out!
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