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bluewater
Beginner August 2009

hen night etiquette - who are you inviting?

bluewater, 4 March, 2009 at 12:17 Posted on Planning 0 12

Ok - our wedding is quite small. i've got quite a few school friends that i am not able to invite to the day as we just don't have room. i feel quite bad about this as one in particular has been planning her wedding too, and i have been invited to her wedding for the whole day PLUS her hen night.

anyway, my sister is organising my hen do. i've only invited those people who are coming to the whole day, which means my hen day is less than 10 people (inc my mum). my mum probably won't come in the evening, 2 friends who will either be heavily pregnant or BFing a tiny baby will also not come to the evening. i think my sister has booked lucky voice for me (YAY!) for the evening, which is really good fun, but better with larger groups of people.

i think i would like to invite those people i've only been able to invite to my evening reception along to the evening bit of my hen do - would anyone think this was a bit cheeky? would you as an evening guest be a bit peeved you'd only been invited to the evening part of the hen? or would you be pleased? if you had been invited to the whole of the hen day, would you be a bit miffed more people had been invited in the evening?

opinions pls xxx

12 replies

Latest activity by MayDay, 4 March, 2009 at 21:06
  • Weather Girl
    Beginner October 2009
    Weather Girl ·
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    I'm interested in opinions on this too!

    In my opinion however, I think I would be pleased if someone was to invite me to their hen do if I was only invited to the evening reception. We all know how difficult it is to work with limits on guest numbers!

    I think those coming to mine will be my mum and then H2B's two sisters and his nieces, his brother's wife, a friend from work and then a few of my close friends my school that I've kept in touch with. I think it depends what sort of hen do you go for as well, if I was to have a party or something I wouldn't have enough people to fill it lol.

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  • Little.Miss-Scatterbrain
    Beginner September 2009
    Little.Miss-Scatterbrain ·
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    Personally it wouldn't bother me. its your hen do have who you want and if you want more people at night invite them, if they dont want to come they wont. the more the merrier i say!

    what is lucky voice?

    x

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  • tahdah
    Beginner September 2009
    tahdah ·
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    We are also having a very small wedding, but I've invited lots of friends to my hen night/weekend and told them that I was sorry I couldn't invite them to my wedding but I'd love to spend my last time of singledom with them!

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  • AliLindsey
    Beginner November 2009
    AliLindsey ·
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    Lucky voice is I think on of those karaoke booths which is your own private karaoke room. As seen in Lost in Translation.

    I think that's what it is anyway - correct me if I'm wrong!

    Ali x

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  • Little.Miss-Scatterbrain
    Beginner September 2009
    Little.Miss-Scatterbrain ·
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    Ah i'd never heard of it, thought it must have been something along the karaoke lines though.

    Thanks!

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  • Stupidgirl45
    Beginner July 2009
    Stupidgirl45 ·
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    Hey Missus

    Yay lucky voice! I think just explain the situation to the evening invite people (blame it on rellies taking up space) and invite them to your hen do. People understand the space issues with weddings - and should be fine

    The only evening people at our wedding are SB's rellies from Wales - and the wedding is in Wales - so not inviting any of them to my hen do. All my mates are coming for the whole thing seeing as they have to travel

    HTH x

    ETA Have invited about 17 girls to my hen do, but I know about 25% will drop out. After you've counted my mum, sis, SIL2B's, and my 3 (small) friendship groups, it comes to 17.

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  • bluewater
    Beginner August 2009
    bluewater ·
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    Gold star alilindsey! yes it's a private karaoke bar - you reserve a room and you get to sing your hearts out with your mates, but not in front of strangers! https://www.luckyvoice.com/ k-box on leicester square is a similar thing.

    ok i'm glad people don't think i'm being massively unreasonable.

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  • Mrs S*
    Beginner January 2010
    Mrs S* ·
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    I think it would be great to be invited to the hen do. I'm having a wedding abroad so i'm going to invite everyone to my hen do as most people won't make my wedding.. but will make the after party!

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  • bluewater
    Beginner August 2009
    bluewater ·
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    Hey sg - i know, i just called my sis to find out if it would make any changes to any of her plans and she said, oh i'll have to change the room size at lucky voice!!! so am dead pleased she has booked it (am actually more pleased my mates have agreed to go along with it!) if we can't get in there, we'll got to kbox which is basically more of the same.

    it's mainly rellies that are invited to the day, and some very close friends. anyone that h2b has wanted to invite from scotland has obv been invited for the whole day which means some of my guests are evening only. am sure my friends will understand!

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  • Stazzle
    Stazzle ·
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    There are a few people I am going to invite to my hen do that aren't on the day list, but I'm not even sure if they'll come. They are mostly work friends, from previous jobs and my current one. I am closer with some of them than others, which I find often happens with past and current colleagues, but all understand that we haven't got the room to invite them all plus their partners (and kids for some), plus they're probably not all that bothered about coming to the ceremony anyway! More up for the evening party, so they won't mind being invited to the hen do and not the whole day.

    As H2B and I both have very large and close families, relatives are taking up the vast majority of our guest list so only very close friends will be invited to the day.

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  • mummy
    Beginner March 2009
    mummy ·
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    I had 3 people at mine that are only coming to the evening do and they were fine with it, pleased to have been asked, and understood about numbers in the day etc

    Lol Clare xxx

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  • kelly29
    Beginner May 2009
    kelly29 ·
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    Alongside the day guests for my hen night I have one evening guest, one friend who would have been an evening guest but can't make the wedding and as of today I have a complete stranger as well!

    My bridesmaid (who is also my cousin) lives in London and doesn't know any of my friends so she phoned me tonight to ask if she could bring a friend to my hen night. I know from my mum that she's been getting herself worked up about it, so I didn't have the heart to say no. At least I won't have to worry about her so much, but hopefully they'll still mix with my other friends.

    Luckily one of my friends offered to organise my hen night for my cousin as my cousin wouldn't have known where to start, not knowing anybody or the area. My friend usually organises a ball every year but it got cancelled this year so she was gagging for a project to organise!!! She's even starting to organise all my friends' transportation to the wedding by looking at hiring a bus!!!

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  • M
    Beginner
    MayDay ·
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    I'm having both day guests and evening guests to my hen do. I think people understand about the costs and restrictions of day guests. It wouldn't bother me as the Hen do is all about having fun with the girls. I just have the quandry of whether to invite some of thr girls from work (incl. my boss) to my Hen do???

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