Hen Night - How Do You Avoid Drama?

I let my bridesmaids sort it all out for me!

Personally, I think you have to listen. People are broke and a hen is not always the way people want to spend what little money they have (they will be going to the wedding soon enough after presumably...) I think it's tough to accept that with the recission people can't necessarily afford to do what they could do a few years ago. I thought I was keeping it simple but it still turned out to cost people a lot of money. If you have your mind set on something, certainly do it but accept that other people may not be in a position to.

Thanks Vicster - a point well made and one I appreciate. That said, my theory is even a night out in town can potentially cost a small fortune, i'd rather spend that money differently - where I can spend real quality time with my friends/family. Also, with older relatives I think it's important to incorporate them. Now, I'm not going out my way to make things expensive, rather i'm investigating different options! Ideally, I want to give people as much notice as is humanly possible and I do want to get good value for money. Helenia - My sister is my bridesmaid, I think she plans to do as she would like [she's never married, older than me by a long way] and i'm not convinced i'd enjoy it!

My advice is to tell everyone what you would like to do, and give as much notice as possible if it's likely to be more expensive than a night out for dinner/drinks/clubbing. Then they have time to make a decision, save up, whatever. You might want to also have a small/cheaper night out if not many people are up for the expensive weekend.

My friend wanted an expensive weekend away but only told people a couple of months before, and then didn't make a final decision until about a month before. Many people said they couldn't afford it, and those who originally said they would go dropped out nearer the time.

In the end we tried to find something that her friends were happy to find the money for, but she really didn't enjoy it. It ended up being more about finding something her friends would do, rather than what she wanted.

I know the hen weekend I want is expensive, but everyone I've mentioned it to really wants to come and is looking forward to it - I've given them a year's notice, mind!

Hope it works out for you! What are you thinking of doing?

Hi Ali, I pondered for a while on what I wanted and thought about going abroad, going to another city and so on. But in the end decided to stick to what I knew and what would be cheaper for everyone - a great meal in Manc and then drinks out in the gay village. That way people can just spend whatever they want.

I then checked available dates I had - I didn't want to go out in the weeks running up to the wedding just in case of drunken accidents and bruises, but I didn't want it so far ahead of the wedding that it was not 'linked' and hit on a weekend 8 weeks before. I checked if my my bridesman and his partner, my mum and cousins and my main few closest friends were free, then set up a fb event to let others know.

Luckily not a single person whinged because I had made it clear what the plan was and if they didn't like it, then tough luck - either come or don't!

My plan is:

Hire huge seaside house, which i'm currently pricing up.

2 Nights accommodation

Personal Chef

Pamper Party

Afternoon Tea

Chocolate Making

If we have 14 of us, which would be full capacity - It works out at £190 pp approximately. We could then take our own food for nibbles/breakie/pizza for the 1st night and take our own drink - which would save loads. Obviously, we'd need to add in petrol. However, for the amount of activities I think this is a bargain - we could potentially scrap the chocolate making.

Alipops x

My daughter is arranging my Hen Night and with the agreement of all the hens the cost has been broken down so that everyone knew how much it would cost for tickets to the event and the travel arrangements.

To weed out the timewasters - everyone had to pay for their tickets up front and by a certain date so that she could book tickets for an agreed date. That way she is not out of pocket by paying for everyones' tickets and then having to chase people who may drop out at a later date or say that they can't afford it. Everyone has known for months where and when we are going so there were no excuses for anyone. If someone couldnt make the arranged date it was too bad - trying to accomodate everyone is a logistical nightmare as it is.

As expected there were a few drop outs who are still saying they want to go - but unless they pay up - their tickets will not be booked!! The venue is one that can be expanded if more people want to go but past experiences of other hen do's made both my daughter and I decide this was the least painful way of organising it.

The coach will be booked nearer the time and everyone knows how much it will be and because everyone has already paid for their tickets the cost has been spread out. On the night we are all buying our own drinks so we can spend as little or as much as wanted.

I can quite see why some bridesmaids don't want to arrange the Hen Night it can be a horrendous job - but fair play to all those who do!!

Swampy

I'm going away for the weekend with the oldies - (my mum and aunties) where we do things like go for afternoon tea and do a bit shopping - go out for a meal and a few drinks and stay overnight in a hotel, a couple of my cousins will be coming and I'll ask my bridesmaid if she wants to come.

Then nearer the wedding I'm arranging a night out and everyone who wants to come can do and I'm not bothered if anyone drops out last minute as there will be no expense by me (except maybe bus hire!).

My MOH is currently living in Australia so I had to sort out the basics of what we are doing/where we are going myself. I found a package on UK Girl Thing that I liked and booked it, then let everyone know after. I just thought its my hen so Im gna do what I want! It works out they pay £30/month until July which I dont think is too bad.xx