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Beginner April 2015

Hen night - should I cancel?

AprilBride15, 26 February, 2015 at 10:44 Posted on Planning 0 7

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Although this is second time around I wanted a hen night, i didn't have one the first time round. I asked BF if she wanted to organise, but I was quiet happy to take this role on myself (after all organised entire wedding on my own). BF said she did want to organise - I'm not having bridesmaids just my soon to be step daughter as a flower girl. BF is not very organised or girlie, so I thought we could have an evening with a bottle of wine and I could give her ideas and we could organise and date and then hey presto all done! Nope...

So it took 3 weeks to meet up, then she said you get people there and I'll organise it but don't expect much! As it happened I didn't expect much anyway. So I issued a FB invite to save the date with details to follow, the idea was BF would pick up the thread and organise the rest.

Time past, and I happened to mention to BF at the weekend about the hen do, as someone had asked me the details - it was 2 weeks away at this point. Now I honestly thought she was just keeping me in dark but it now appears she has done nothing... and even had the date wrong!

Not quiet sure how i didn't blow a stack but I think she got the message I wasn't very happy. She has now said you get them to said venue and I'll do the rest. So I have been trying to rally up the people and out of the 24 invited so far I have 6! Most had forgot as original invite was long ago and now have other plans. I also don't have any confidence she is doing anything.

I am so fed up with this now, OH says I should just go for a few drinks (which is what he's doing) but I feel really deflated now just thinking of cancelling :-(

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7 replies

Latest activity by elvira-darkside, 27 February, 2015 at 08:14

bliss_balloons · 26 February, 2015 at 10:54
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It's a shame that she's let you down but don't miss your chance to have a hen do because of her poor planning. If I was you I'd organise it myself, do something like go for a meal then drinks or something simple to organise and make a definite plan on fb, you may find more people will want to go when they know what it is you'll actually be doing! I've given up waiting for my moh to organise mine so i'm doing it myself.
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Beginner April 2015
AprilBride15 · 26 February, 2015 at 11:04
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I do wish I had done it myself... when I suggested to her that I take hold of the reins and organise it she wouldn't hear of it!

Its now 9 days to go and I have no idea what's going on (probably nothing).
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Beginner October 2013
halloweeny · 26 February, 2015 at 11:21
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Call her up and ask her what the plan is. If she says she doesn't have one maybe you could say that you'd like to help her as she's clearly busy. THen you can just take over.

I wouldn't cancel it. What you could do is try to postpone and arrange it yourself?

I hope this doesn't ruin your friendship
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bliss_balloons · 26 February, 2015 at 11:23
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If nothing happens in 9 days, just organise something yourself, like go for afternoon tea with a few close friends or have a spa day?
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Beginner April 2015
AprilBride15 · 26 February, 2015 at 11:41
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I will give her a nudge at the weekend, one person whose coming 150 miles for this; and I will use that as excuse to find out what's going on (feel guilty as well for her travelling so far to maybe just sit in a pub!)

I hope it doesn't ruin our friendship either - I really didn't expect her to want to organise my hen night, as it just isn't her; but as she is BF and had come along for the dress shopping and now fittings I wanted to give her the opportunity to do it if she wanted. I just wish she could have been honest with me and said i'm too busy, or its just not my cup of tea!

I think I've been really patient with her, even having the conversation that 'I know this wedding isn't as important to anyone as it is to me but ...' and she agreed! Urgh!
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Beginner April 2015
pammy67 · 26 February, 2015 at 11:45
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If the date is booked then you are having a hen do - you just need to take over what its going to be. Simply take it over from your BF she has let you down with this and should be ashamed fo herself, but that's another battle.

Decide where you want to go, if it's something/somewhere you need to book, then book it and then let your guests know. Then go and have a good time. You might not be getting the number you originally hoped for but there's nothing you can do about that. Just go with the ones weho can make it. Small and perfectly formed is perfect.
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Beginner April 2015
AprilBride15 · 26 February, 2015 at 11:50
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Thank you everyone whose responded.

I will just take control of it, I'll speak with her tonight.
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