Hello everyone,
I'm having some trouble with my hen party and just want to vent and get some advice really!
So I'm getting married in november this year, and i'd originally asked for 2 nights away in bath for with my hens, in september. So last september, I booked my time off in work and told everyone the dates, because it's an absolute nightmare in my workplace to get holiday. All the hens agreed and said that it sounded good.
So my MOH has started pressing people for a definite yes or no, as we're going to book. 9 out of the 12 people invited have turned around and said they cannot go. I am beyond upset. 3 of them have genuine reasons which I completely understand, and two are only coming in the day. The other 4 are the reasons why I am posting.
So the 4 girls, are my old work colleagues, but we stay in touch regularly and meet up around once a month. They were there for me through a very difficult time, and I am so grateful for that. I think a lot of them, and would consider them good friends.
One of the 4 girls posted in the group, on behalf of the other 3, saying they couldn't go. No explanation, no apology. I very begrudgingly, agreed to move it back by a week, even though I'd seen these girls a month before and no one said anything about it. They then said they STILL couldn't go so I messaged them directly to get some answers.
They gave me really feeble excuses, such as, one of them might be away for her cousins birthday. MIGHT. Her cousin has a birthday every year, I only have one hen party. This of course means the other 3 can't attend either?
They have said they feel bad, so they are arranging a night out instead, which I was going to do anyway for work friends, just me and the 4 girls. They tried to take over the hen party planning in the group too, by suggesting it was in our home town and not in bath. One of my friends said "Yeah but she's really excited for it to be in bath" and one of the 4 replied "Yeah well, it would suck if no one showed up"
During my conversation where I demanded some answers, she even said "Well it didn't go our way, and moving it back a week made it worse for us"
I just don't understand why they're being like this, and what I can do from here. If they had money issues, I would have understood but they haven't even communicated with me about it at all! And as my MOH has stated, it's £60 pp, 6 months away, and doesn't have to be paid in full, so it was definatley doable for the girls who were worried about money.
I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to just accept it, and say they obviously feel bad they're planning a night out (even though that was my plan anyway so not really anything different), but the other part of me wants to have a massive go about it and uninvite them from the wedding completely. I feel so let down and hurt. I'm the type of person that would bend over backwards to get to a hen party, especially for a good friend!
I am however very grateful that moving the date means 2 of my other friends can come, so there's a positive. And i'm very happy with the girls that have said they are coming 100%. I just feel so let down by these 4. Any advice?
