Hen weekend that I wish I had never booked !!!!!! **UPDATE** last page

Poor you I hope you manage to get it sorted & don't get stung by the company.

I've discovered lately that girls are a lot less loyal than men. When it comes to hen/stags, the men are prepared to pay anything and go anywhere that is organised. With women, it tends to be ok only if it's cheap and what they want to do. Also, there's a bit of a problem when it comes to paying deposits etc. If there's a deadline, chances are they wont have the money by then, so they just drop out!

I had the same, 20 girls all up for an abroad do, set up a savings account, 2 joined it, 8 people officially booked on now.

Lads organised theirs last wk, 15 already paid deposits.

Joke!

Hope you get sorted hun.

I couldnt have put that better myself, OH is has gone with the same company and his list is endless of all the lads that are completley up for it his BM has arranged it all and already put his deposit down to book it. There all chipping in for OH place as per tradition atleast one of us has some loyalty amongst friends.

Funnily enough my Best friend who is still up for it and paying her deposit next week is the best mans wife

☹️ that is awful! perhaps ask everyone that has pulled out to help you out with a little bit for the deposit or any charges if you have to cancel, or could you change it to another day that people can make?

I have no idea what is happening for my hen do, got my MOH organising it and she's not letting anything slip, she's told me she's put deposits down but that is all I know, bit worried that she might struggle as some of the people who would be invited to my hen night she doesnt know and she might not be so pushy to get money or a definite yes they're coming off them.

That is pretty awful, I would never leave someone in the lurch like that! Did you discuss the cost with them before you booked it? If so it might be worth trying to get some money from them if you get stung? You might not get anything back from them, but it's worth a shot.

I'm not organising my hen do, and by all accounts I'm quite glad. I have kept telling the BM's to make sure they get paid before they book anything, but it's sad that you need to do that where your friends are concerned!

Exactly what I was thinking. My OH's stag night was booked by his BM last night, they're off to Andorra for 3 nights in March and it's costing over £300 each and he's got 15 lads going and they all paid in full by the day it was due which was last Friday. No chasing required.

I'm not planning mine (have no idea what I'm doing) and have left it with my 3 BM's however I'm staying in this country and only asking for half that amount and my BM's have said that not everyone's replied to emails yet as to whether they can make it. Mine's only in May though so have a bit more time but I totally agree.

How mcuh notice had you given the girls?

When I planned mine I started off with about 18 girls, in the end 9 of us went, fortunatley they cancelled with plenty of time so I didn't incur any charges, but it grieves me why people commit, probably knowing fine well that they cant go, and it's when you tsrat asking for money that they drop out!

I let them know a while back that im going to be booking it and the balance they would need to pay they were also able to pay in installments but none have made any payments and now the full payment is due on the 14th all saying they cant afford it I even offered to( out of the wedding venue money) pay half for 4 of the ladies if they could pay the other half (£75) by the 14 th and then pay me back at the end of the month !!

SIL said this is fine she can do that but as mentioned mum is ill so might not be able to make it anyway.

SIL to be says she will let me know Friday Grrrrrr

2 others havent got back to me but have heard from family member that they are saying they cant afford it - Nice of them to let 'me' know then !!

Just had email back form hen company feel sick !!! 150 pp supplement may be charge for each person not coming because room has been booked for upto 6 people and changing room to a twin or triple may incur charges. Rang them they are going to see what venue say in regards to down grading room, woman was quite snotty on phone which didnt help, will know within 48 hours !!

This is an absolute nightmare, should I just cut my losses and cancel, but if I do that am I still going to be charge aswell as them keeping the deposit dont know what to do

It states in T&C that if I cancell I lose deposit and that if the venue incurrs charges I am liabla for them too.

Cue the sobbing into my coffee . . . . !!!!!!!!

Have yoe explained to your friends that you will now be liable for the cost regardless if they come? I think that is what i would do, they shouldn't have agreed to attend, especially as you told them the cost beforehand!

I agree, what about Mum's, Mum's Best Friend, Aunty.

I would get very snotty with said friends and say unfortunately you have to contribute towards the lost deposit.

Did you make it clear when you booked you were paying deposit on their behalf until they paid you back. Unfortunately I know my friends can be the same, so I wouldn't pay any deposit for people. However, hindsight is all well and good and I know it doesn't help you now.

Try not to panic, wait to hear back from the hen company and then look at your options xx

I am shocked by this!!! This sounds exactly like something my friends would do to me!!! I would phone each and every one of them and just tell them the situation you are in and let them know exactly what stress they've caused you! I would be fuming. I was MOH last year at my sister's wedding and I seen first hand how people screw you over with money!!! I can understand when people can't go but why commit if you're just going to pull out last minute anyway?

Makes me rage!

Hxxx

MIL to be and aunt were 2 that originally cancelled on me, unfortunatly I dont have a massive circle of friends ( sound like a loner now . . . Hmmm great lol )

I am currently in communication with the company at possibly transferring the event to something that can accomadate only 3 but struggling as most of there activitys are minimum of 8 I have said I dont mind losing part of deposit as it stands the new activity that im asking to change to is a loss of £23 which I would much prefer then £149 or even £149 + £150pp etc etc etc

Hopefully this is visable I shall await their response, this is the last option before cancelling and losing deposit fingers crossed !!

I have'nt paid deposit on their behalf, I have put down my deposit and I 'offered' to pay half towards theirs if they could pay half by the 14th but still they are saying this is not managable well thats the ones that have actually replied to me !!!!

The issue is that the hen company have made booking for the amount of people that confirmed they would be coming but now that the money is due they have all said they cant afford it, and muggins here is getting the back end of it they all new when money was due and like mentioned they could have paid a little towards it each week but nada from any of them !!

How horrible! i don't like these package hen/stag places, mainly because they are aimed at men, ands the hen part has just been thrown togeather..£150-£400 isn't a lot for men to pay for a stag party, when all they have to do for the wedding will be buy a new shirt, but for women it gets nearer the time and they realise £200 hen party, £100 drinks plus the £200 for the new wedding outfit means they end up droping out last minuite. my oh is havinga weekend away with his mates, i will be having a night with no stay over and a coach there and back- that i wont be booking till i have everyones cash! then another weekend have a night away in brighton with my bm's who arn't allowed to say no! if i was you i would just cancel and plan a big night out to your nearing city/big town. you will be amazed how many will want to go then!

So you've only actually paid your deposit but the company are asking you to pay the remaining deposits now? And as there are minimum numbers for the hen weekend then you will loose your deposit if places aren't taken?

You must speak to all those involved and let them know that ypou are loosing money because of them.

that i wont be booking till i have everyones cash! - So wish I had done that

you will be amazed how many will want to go then! - I bet they would but could I invite them without feeling bitter or even slightly mugged off. . . Hmmmm !!

Will definetly lose my deposit and incurr cost for the others as the rooms booked were for 5 -6 people so will have to pay a supplement due to numbers dropping and room having to be changed !!

Are the names transferable? perhaps you could advertise it on here or gumtree for someone to take it instead?

Fingers crossed for you. Would definitely make the let-downs pay their bit towards the deposit or say that they're now not having a meal or drinks at the wedding as you've had to subsidise these with the costs they have made you incur for the hen do

My other half has said all those that have let me down cant come to the wedding ?

Definatley agree about the difference between hens and stags. OH's stag got booked last week for a week away in magaluf in august. So far 30 people have booked!

For me I'm having to do the bulk of my own organising and am trying to find a cottage in the countryside for a weekend away here. Trouble being that no-one will commit but I can't book anything until I've got an idea of numbers. Don't want to book a 18bed place and find theres only 8 of us!

Totally! I was so organised with mine, and gave people plenty of notice...H2B threw his together a few weeks back and has five more people going than I have to mine - and the cost is comparable so it's not that.

I booked everything myself, and made sure I got £30 up front for the cabaret show before booking so that people were definitely committed before I booked anything. When asked for £30 up front only one pulled out. Still 7 of us going which I'm happy with.

That's awful, alot of stress you dont need! This is kind of whats happening with mine, but I hadnt paid the deposit yet, basically said to everyone to give me part of the deposit by a fortnight, as I had about 27 people who had said they would come, but I knew after asking for money people would drop like flies, which they did.

All my OH has had to do is say what weekend suits him and the boys are doing the rest!

Really hope you can get this sorted without too much expense.x

Oh no getting worried bout my hen do now! i'm organising a spa night away and the company don't want a deposit you just pay the hotel on check out but once i've given final numbers i have to pay £35 for each change i make, so if anyone decides to drop out last minute i'll have to pay the charge.

It's hard even gettin a yes or no out of people nevermind havin to get money off people, wish i'd let my MOH do it all now but wanted to do it myself incase she didn't do what i wanted and invite all my friends :s

You'd think so called friends would want to be there to celebrate this special time with u!

ouch. . . how do you feel about that?

Been emailing the hen company since yesterday to see if there is some way round the issue, I re searched the hen activitys and found a spa weekend which includes a 30 min treatment ( bagsy the massage !!) with a 3 course meal + drink and nightcluband Luxuary hotel. I asked on the off chance if they could transfer my deposit over to this package instead to accomadate the 3 of us as the hotel has triple rooms and they have agreed to do this I lose £32 out of my deposit but Im so pleased this has been sorted was really starting to get me down.

Just waiting on the confirmation lady from hen company said she should have this befor the weekend, Yay !!!

** Note to self - Get money in advance from people before booking anything ever again in the future !!!!!!

Ah glad youve managed to sort it!

So pleased you got this sorted x

Thanks everyone for taking the time out to help with advice etc, much appreciated ?