Hitched Second Wives Club

I am also a second wife and a pre-married myself! It's a minefield.

I'm H's 2nd wife (wave to him, he's probably still stalking me on here), but my first marriage.

Been engaged before, hence why i've been here since 2004, but only got married last year.

I have been married before. Don't really need to have contact with my cheating ex|H as our "kids" are both in their 20's. So my fiance will be my 2nd H. However I will be his 3rd wife! We don't see his 1st ex thankfully but have run into her in the past and she is a very nasty piece of work - along with their daughter together both of whom we have had to get the police involved in order to keep them away from us. His 2nd ex lives quite near us and is ok. We see her sometimes as her 2 girls are very close to my H2B even tho he is only their stepdad. I get on really well with the girls so putting up with her presence occasionally is just something i have to do.

She doesn't interfere with our relationship, she's just a biatch when it comes to the kids.

Considering she has 5 (2 of which are Hs), he has zero idea about how to be a mum.

H is always getting shitty texts off her, and she's a proper money grabber.

She's lied about having breast cancer, lied about her daughter being sexually abused, and even said we can't have her 7 yr old daughter stay over, incase my 8 yr old son "fiddles" with her.

She gave us cr@p about our sons name, trying to say we chose a name to out do her sons name, she's radged in the head.

One of her best lines was "I bet Jacobey has gold plated milk" I replied with "not likely, it's solid gold for my kids". ?

Im not im just being nosey, but Jojo i sympathise, ex sounds like a bloody nightmare! And the MIL, pah!

I had a very brief "starter marriage" in my early 20s that failed after a year due to the fact he tried to kill me twice. And other stuff. No contact at all with him.

My second marriage lasted 19 years, produced three fabulous children, all grown up - and we are almost friends! We are very civil to one another, attend family occasions together and he even gets on with my OH. Bless him, he even came to my dad's funeral and was treated as part of the "family party". But he's boring!

Oh's ex is ok. She's a bit flaky and we are not sure of her parenting skills. They split when the children were 3 and 5 so a long time ago. She's remarried and I get on omk with her.

Oh it's all happy families in Custard-world! And we know how fortunate we are. It's taken a bit of work!

I'm not a second wife but my ex had a ex-wife and 2 kids with her.. I was around when they broke up ? and she was horrendous. Even 2 years down the line she was using them as a weapon and complaining that he wasn't giving her enough money (he was unemployed and struggling to pay his own bills but still giving her money!)

I'm a third wife, though H is my first.

He has two teenage daughters (almost 15 and 16) from ex no. 1, but none with ex. No. 2.

I get on ok with ex 1, because the girls like me, but they live about 100 miles away. Luckily I get on really well with all of H's family, but more so because I don't think MIL really cared for his previous wives.

Ex no. 2 used to contact and see his girls on a regular basis, which used to upset me, even though she left him, and bearing in mind she's not their mum, but now we're married and I'm their official step mum she doesn't see them at all, and only occasionally posts on their Facebook, which doesn't bother me.

I know I'm lucky to have great in laws, and have a good relationship with his kids and I feel for anyone who isn't so fortunate. Being a step mum and second/third wife is difficult enough, without any added hassle.

Not a second wife but H does have 2 children from his previous relationship. They were never married though, I dont think he would have gone through with it!

She's a nightmare as some of you know from my rantings on here. Its settled down in recent years but i had death threats, the lot in the beginning. Oh and her mum turned up to my wedding to 'take pictures of the kids'. Yeah, course love.

I'm a second wife, OH's first wife left him and their 2 kids to run off with a bloke she met on the internet. OH has full custody of them now and eventually she decided she wanted contact so they see her alternate weekends.

The woman is absolutely clueless as a mother, but she's always been civil to me.

?

Yeah. I know.

I'm just being nosy, but I want to say, some of your stories are ? - I admire all of you who have to put up with such s**t.

Is your DH going to say something to her? Or has he done so already?

got to say i have a deep down worry that his daughter and her mother will turn up at the wedding and cause a bit of a stink just to spoil things for us. Haven't heard from them in a while at all but I just won't totally relax until the day happens and they don't make an appearance! We have even had to tell our venue that they must not accept any instructions or cancellations etc regarding our wedding from anyone other than the two of us in person and definitly not over the phone as she has cancelled things by pretending to be someone else in the past.

I'm a second wife, OH's ex is a COW!

He will be my first hubby

I hope I don't offend anyone by asking, but, if asked, do you think your current partners' first wives would say similar things about you? Also - those of you who've been married before, what do you think of your ex's new partner?

I am my 2nd husbands 1st wife, , , BUT, , , I was my 1st husbands 2nd wife,,,,,

Do I qualify to join ?

Weird - was reading this thinking it must be a nightmare, then realised I'm H's 2nd wife (he is my 1st H). They married young, didn;t have kids and split a long time ago, so it never really registers - phew, I think I'm lucky.

I am not a second wife, but can I just say that cowtrog is one of the best insults I have heard in a long time! I'm not sure if you meant to say that or it was a typo, but it's awesome!

You know what fun and games I have with MrMinis ex, although they were never married they have 2 kids together and sadly she is all for using the kids as weapons.

Trust me JoJo, I spent all day yesterday in tears of anger/frustration about her. I'm not a mum but I though that the primary function of all mums was to protect their kids and do absolutely anything in thier power to make them happy? I don't get how a grown woman can use her kids as pawns in a game of tit for tat with her ex boyfriend- they have split up 7 years for gawds sake!

I have 2 girls from my previous marriage and also my 18 yo son from a relationship previous to that - My H2B has no children of his own and has never been married before but did loose his long term partner of 15 years to illness the year before we met, I think he is a brave man to have taken us all on, as I can't say I'd have done it if the shoe had been on the other foot but he says he'd not have it any other way !

My ex H caused no end of trouble for me when we first split up (I was single) and refused to have anything to do with the girls unless we got back together, thankfully I never caved in to his blackmail but sadly he has been true to his word and had no contact with the girls since then (7 years ago) ,not even b/day or xmas cards. We split when the youngest was 9 months so she has no recollection of him what so ever which I find extremely sad, especially since my ex in-laws all decided not to try and keep in contact with any of us either apparently because my ex found it "distressing " ( never quite got my head around that !) ..families huh!

But on the opposite end of the spectrum, despite a few ups and downs years ago when we first split up,I have always had firm friendships with not only my son's father but also pretty much all his family and several of them have told me how proud they are of the way I have raised my son and encouraged him to always respect and keep in touch with them all. His dad and I have always respected each others right to live our own life's' even when we've didn't agreed with each others choices. I have attended many of their family functions and always been considered family. My H2B initially, wh found this a little weird until we attended my son's aunt's wedding a couple of years ago and he was made to feel extremely welcome. Many of my friends who haven't had amicable separations do find this all a little strange but admit it has really benefited my son as he has been growing.

Oh and as for my son's "step mother" - she is just as laid back as I am if not more, we've shared coffee on few occasions and generally complained about our kids and actually ended up sharing a table on the evening of the above wedding and had a great laugh. I know this is a rarity but I'm extremely lucky to have maintained these relationships over the years particularly for my son's benefit.

I am a second wife.but H is my first (and last) husband!

H's ex is a Twat with a capital T captial W capital A capital T!! Her and H have two kids together and she uses them as weapons! They have a agreement that H will text the ex first to see if its ok to call and talk to them , then he will call! but half the time she never responds to H so he doesnt get to talk to the kids and then when she wants a night out or a holiday , she starts telling everyone that H has pushed them out and doesnt care about them and all of a sudden he gets to talk to them and see them , i could go on all night about her and the *** she pulls with the kids but i dont want to bore any one!!

She is crazy though! Two years after breaking up and being divorced , with two weeks to go to mine and Hs wedding she was going round saying that i was sleeping with her husband ( meaning my H) and told me she would smash my face in if i didnt leave him alone!! shes nuts!!

She is also best buddies with my MIL!! my PIL made it clear at the beginning that i wasnt welcome in the family and that the ex would always be their DIL! Six months before the wedding we made a bit of head way and H and i was invited to go and see the PIL for the weekend so i could meet them, we had a lovely weekend and i actually quite missed them when we came home. Three weeks later the ex was looking for an arguement and called H to tell him that she has been to visit the PILs and they had been sitting there slagging us off , she even told me that my MIL had said that i was a unfit parent!! ( I have a son from a previous partner and H and i have a son also) . I felt like i had been punched in the face that the PIL had been so two faced! PIL dont respect or like me, they avoid me as much as possible , the havent spoke to H since christmas and doesnt even know that im 25 weeks pregnant!! anyway enough of that!!

As for what the ex thinks of me , i know she HATES me , not sure why but hey!!

And i wasnt married to my ex partner but his new girlfriend is ok , i dont know her very well , shes going to be my sons step mum one day and i know she loves him so im happy!!

MrsTurner, i've never met my PIL. They don't know H and I are married, or that they have an almost 1 yr old grandson.

It seems to be an unwritten rule that exes have to be pyscho biatches!!!

First time I met Hs ex, she didn't know i'd be there, and she looked rough. The next time she knew i'd be there, she had a face full of make up. Felt like saying "no matter how much slap you wear, i'm always going to be 10 years younger than you" ?

This is us. They haven't got a clue that we're getting married in a month's time and they will definitely not be meeting any future children that we have together. OH's family are a bunch of twunts, and I would gladly tell them this to their back-stabbing faces if they ever made the mistake of knocking on our door. They sided with the ex biatch, she stole his family, and they're all welcome to each other. I hope they rot.

I've been married before....it only lasted 8 weeks. He Admitted he only married for money.

I do wonder what J (H's first wife) would say - or indeed does say - about me.

I think there will always be an element of "competition" between wives. I am sorry that H got to do everythign with her first and that we will never have children together. But she probably thinks I am distant and uncaring, or am trying to take H away from his children (not true).

I've met her, she's met me, we are on cordial terms although very different types of people. It's in H's, their childrens and hence my interests to keep things as easy and conflict-free as possible, and I genuinely feel no animosity at all towards her. Occasional annoyance is as bad as it gets!

Oh and I am posher, cleverer, richer, thinner than her.

This doesn't work for me...I am 11 years older than H's exW. Just as well I have a plan B! (Brains!)

I'm (almost) the third wife. The first wife and I get on fine - we have had a drink together on a couple of occasions, and she has welcomed me into her home before now. Mr B and her have 2 daughters (aged 20 and 15) and I think she's done a fantastic job of bringing them up. They are polite, caring and well rounded young adults.
Maybe it's the fact that I'm only a few years older than the girls (I'm 26) but I have never tried to be their step mother and none of us have any interest in that kind of relationship - we're just brilliant friends.
As for their mum, maybe it helps that he was married again, but there is no animosity on her part to me, or mine to her.

Now, the sequel is a completely different story. They had a messy break up (long story, but basically he was bringing up her children as his own, and she refused to see his or let him have any contact. That marriage lasted a year). I don't know or care if she knows about me or the wedding, as he has had no contact since the split. He doe think her son might try and find him one day, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I'm H's 3rd wife... does that make me the Queen of the group, or am I not allowed in?

Just read this and see I am not the only 3rd wife ?

Do any of you get any kind of "scowl" from people when they realise your H has been married twice before? Makes me laugh because despite his ex's being an absolute pair of loons, I honestly couldn't give a crap that he's been married before. I'm far to busy being happy.