Hitched Second Wives Club

As much as i love a rant about the psycho ex, sometimes i cant because i get so angry.

My 9 yr old stepdaughter came to our house last weekend wearing a padded bra. She has buds under her nipples but nothing wobbling. a PADDED BRA! We told her to take it off and wear a crop top. her mum bought it for her because they didnt have any normal crop tops in matalan. Sexualising her child. Amazing mothering.

My 12 yr old ss has put himself on a diet because he weighed 12stone (has has lost 7lb so far) His mother isnt helping him because she takes them to mcdonalds whenever she can and ss is getting very frustrated at the lack of support from his mother. She is the reason he is so overweight. He shouldnt have to take matters into his own hands. When the doctor told her he was obese at the age of 8 (9st) she should have done somehting about it then.

The fact that she called my H while we were at his nans funeral to ask for her money was one thing. When she said she needed it to buy ss's birthday present, well, thats a whole other thing. That money is to feed and clothe the children, not to buy them presents with. Effectively, we bought SS's birthday present, which was supposed to be halves.

I will have to stop now. I can feel my blood boiling.

I think it's awful there are so many of these stories! Mine isn't quite so bad but I don't think I've been so angry in my life until this weekend. OH has a 9 year old daughter, L, from a previous relationship but they weren't married. They broke up before she knew she was pregnant and he didn't find out until L was born. This caused some issues initially, she then went on to get a new chav bf and had another baby and he told everyone L was his too and put bricks through my OH's house windows in an effort to keep him away which worked. When we got together he started seeing her properly (he started paying for her when she was 3 and the mum admitted she was his and apologised etc). She has been fine with me and OH is loving seeing his daughter once a month (we live really far away from them) and we pay for violin and swimming lessons which I happily contribute to. She is a lovely little girl and I know her mum can't provide everything for her. However this week the chav ex bf (and his new gf) have been round telling L that my OH doesn't love her, that he's a waste of space, that she shouldn't see him and if she does that makes her stupid. She rang OH in floods of tears and he spent all afternoon on the phone to her to reassure her none of it was true.

Now if this was the mother then that's one thing. But the ex of the mother and his new gf, who have nothing to do with L anymore, having a go at a 9 year old until she cries? What is wrong with people??? This guy is a thug which means my plan to go up there all guns blazing to have it out would probably result in me getting punched in the face but why should he get away with it? OH was both devastated and furious but there's not a lot he can say as he's worried the ex would get violent with L or her mother. He's not up there next until the end of the month and he's so stuck and helpless and there's nothing I can do to help. Which is similar to how some of you feel I gather. Sucks

When we get texts from her now, we just ignore them.

One thing that did pi$$ me off though. She NEVER gives her kids a Birthday party, yet this year, she suddenly decided to throw my SD a party, on the same day we had J's first Birthday party. Luckily, she didn't realise we were having an evening "do", so my step kids could still come.

I also took my SD shopping as a pre-birthday treat a couple of weeks ago. She kept commenting on how nice it was, that her Mum never does anything like that with her, and that I was a really cool step-mum. ❤️ I bet her Mum HATED that!!

I was expecting H to get a text or phonecall saying how the clothes weren't appropriate or something, it never came... quite shocked.

I have nothing to add as I am a first wife and he is my first husband, but I just wanted to say I cannot believe what some of you have to put up with from horrible exes. Mini I cannot believe she would send you messages like that and I also cannot believe a grown man would try to make a 9 year old cry. People are a disgrace. My sister split up with the father of her son and they have an amicable relationship. They aren't best friends by any stretch but they both agreed it was what was best for their son. Why don't other people think like that?

Im also in the "you have made your step child ill" club!!

I have a step son and daughter and we had then to stay not so long back , now my SD is 10 now and on one of the evenings , i had my sister come (who is slighty older than SD and help with the step kids because it was new to me she was brillient , SD and my sister decided they wanted to do my make up which was fine until SD wanted us to do hers , I wasnt sure because of her age and didnt want to say yes just incase H or the ex didnt like it , so i said yes but only if she rang her mum first and she agreed to it , so i put the lightest of of make up on her , she loved it . The next day SD went home and within the hour ,H had a phone call from the ex to say that i had give SD conjuctivitis around her eyes!!!!!! and that i shouldnt have put make up on her!! i was amazed as it was the ex that said yes to it, plus all my make up was quite new and my grandma who is a nurse assured me that an eye infection like that takes at least 3 days to appear so it wasnt actually my fault!! Thats when it was thrown at me that all my ILS apparently thought i was an unfit mother (which my MIL never denied saying)! and apparantly the ex didnt want me to look after her children because of it ! nothing to do with the fact that i have two boys of my own and ILS have never mentioned my unfitness before , i hate Hs ex , in my eyes shes the unfit one! she doesnt give a stuff about them kids and palms them of to people as much as she can , her flat looks like something of life of grime! shes more interested in getting a new fella than looking after the kids . i could write pages and pages of nasty stuff thats shes done but i wont because it will bore everyone Lol!!

? I wonder of my stepmother ever felt my brothers and I were an intrusion every single weekend.

I'm sure she didn't- its probably just me being a selfish old cow!

probably...? Is it reallly that hard being a stepmother? My stepmother has never given me any cause to think she found it hard, we get on well and always have done as far as I am aware. Maybe she did though - I guess even 'real' parents find their kids hard sometimes and vice versa.

yes. Most mothers have 9 months to prepare for thier children, they love them unconditionally and are in the main happy to have them.

I inherited 2 children who I have had to fight to win round, they are nice, but they are not mine. I never wanted children of my own, and I still don't.

I often want to ask my dad, he is my sisters step dad, though he never uses that title. He moved in with my mum and married her and inherited 2 teenage children- that must have been tough!

My step mum hated having me and my sisters round to stay. We knew this, so we made sure we gave her reason to hate us. We'd turn the oven off half way through her cooking dinner, or turn it up. We "accidently" smashed a few of her fave ornaments, and we flooded the bathroom.

She hated us staying so much, she made my dad move to a 2 bed house so that there was no room for us.

I'm not a good step Mum, I miss weekends alone (my mum always had my eldest, and would have my youngest too), you'd have thought having a step mum like mine would have made me more tolerant of my step kids...

As long as your hunsband cherish you, just ignore the ex .

H's ex wife has been behaving lately. Quite boring TBH, I have a few words to say to her about her kids behaviour.

Her new bloke made a birthday cake for my stepdaughter, my SD preferred the cakes i made. Bet that didn't go down well.

First time I "met" H's ex, she didn't know i was going to be there and she looked dog rough, I felt a tiny bit smug. Next time she knew i was going round, she was all made up, when we left H said "never seen her make that much effort before. She looks her age compared to you, her boobs are fake, yet yours still look better" ?

We have had the usual from the Ex of recent. Normally her not coming to pick the kids up at the agreed time. Sample text convo;

Ex; Can you have the kids untill 6pm today (they go home at 3pm on a Sunday)

MrMini (asks kids) Ive just asked them and they want to come home. J says he misses you as hes not seen you since Thursday.

Ex; I cant believe you trying to blame the children for you not wanting them. What sort of father are you? No wonder they dont ever want to come to your house etc etc etc

?

I love the excellent contradictions. She tells us every Friday that the children hate coming to see us and she has to pay them (!) to come over. Yet she quite merrily asks us to have them longer and wont take no for an answer. If my children hated going somewhere so much I had to bribe them to go I certainly wouldn't make them go there, or leave them there longer than I had told them too...but what do I know eh?! Im not a mum!

Oh and I have had to buy their school uniforms as its not her husbands responsibility...you know the one who insists they call him "dad".

*jumps off soapbox and glugs a glass of wine*