Honeymoon fund instead of gift list - rude?

Yeah that's the only reason I'm considering it as my aunt and uncle, parents, and a few friends have already asked what we want and there's still a year and a half to go!! I've said don't worry about a present please, we just want you there, but I just know they are planning something anyway.

We are in the same situation but are going ahead with asking for contributions towards the honeymoon. Not sure how we are going to word it yet, but something along the lines of we don't expect gifts but if they wish to give us a gift, a contribution towards our honeymoon would be nice.

I've been to a few weddings now where the bride and groom have asked for money/contribution towards honeymoon. I would rather give a gift they want than worrying about what to buy them and I personally don't have any problems in giving/being asked for money/honeymoon vouchers.

I've just put a little line on my invite saying if you are considering giving us a gift, we would very much appreciate US dollars to spend on our once in a lifetime trip to America. You could tweak it a bit and put the details of the company you're using. My fried used trailfinders and would really recommend them. I personally don't see the problem with people asking for money, I would rather they get something that they want that spending a fortune on something that'll get shoved in the cupboard!

I've not really thought about what to do re the whole gift subject yet. We've got our home and everything in it and not having a big honeymoon so not really sure. I did attend a wedding a few years ago where they had a website set up for 'gifts' towards their honeymoon. The good thing was they had the things broken down , so for example the ride on a gondola may have been in 4 bits , so you didn't have to spend a lot to contribute to something. There were 3 of us going to the wedding so we contributed to all parts of one of the gifts. Then after the wedding they sent thank you cards with a picture of them doing the activity which I thought was lovely. I think breaking things down is good , sometimes if something is quite expensive it puts people off.

We've been together for 8 years so didn't need much "stuff" but have never been on a fancy holiday. Our invites say something along the lines of "presents are certainly not expected. If you do wish to get us something we have set up a honeymoon fund here xxxxxx. If you prefer to get us an item, we also have a gift list on the same site." That's not the exact wording but it was very similar to that. Our invites are very short so we didn't want to waffle in too much.

We haven't done a gift list or asked for money - we have told our parents if people ask we would like a contribution towards honeymoon but tbh I would prefer people to do as they pleased - I find it rude to ask for anything lol x

Ps please don't do a tacky poem lol

Im planning on making a list with lots of random things from £5 to £4000 (doubt we will get the latter though)

the cheaper things will be the likes of :- CD/DVDs, honeymoon clothing etc... (up to £15)

then slightly more expensive but still under £100 like :- new curtains for our odd sized windows, experiences days (for honeymoon) the drinks-cart/bar we both really want

then mid range will be stuff we need but cant afford to replace ourselves like :- washer/dryer combo, oven, dishwasher (our washers broken although it still sort of runs, the oven is old second hand and doesn't fit it the space, dishwasher got stolen as it was set up in our conservatory)

then expensive will be :- honeymoon/familymoon, car, house deposit (although their will be an option to just make a small donation to these too)

I would only expect really close family to consider the later 2 groups so I expect if we do get any gifts it will mainly be clothes and DVDs though from non family guest and maybe the slightly more expensive things from family

We didn't have a list, so people generally gave us money or vouchers.

*checks that the date isn't April 1st*

Are you serious?

JJKB I think people would find this rude ?

We didn't bother with one of those honeymoon list thingys we just asked for cold hard cash (towards our honeymoon)

I am a little bit rude though! ?

Not as bad as a relative of my fiancée, who is asking his guests to pay for their own meal!!!

JJKCB - I'm really gullible so need to ask - you are joking right?

why is it rude?

the mass majority is below £60 with most below £20 and the options of thing we do need (which has the option of donations rather than buying - literally the exact same as honeymoon donations but for a house instead)

and no one has to get a gift its a list for people who ask (which are mostly family) who have offered to buy similar household things before (but I usually dont accept gifts the only reason we would for the wedding is we are spending 4 years worth of saving that would normally go towards slowly replacing these things)

Since when has a toaster cost £50??? Isn't that a bit assuming of what people will give ?

It's your decision to spend 4 years of saving not your guests? I just think doing a list with things up to £4000 on is rude ! I generally thought it was a joke

I've said this many a time.

jjckb- I get the saving up thing, I drove around in a falling apart car in the whole lead up to the wedding but what would you do if the washer etc breaks before your wedding? It's a long old way away? You can't go without surely?

my dad is a builder that renovates old houses so he has a warehouse full of old secondhand stuff he gets free (everything from radiators to ovens) he either fixes things of gives us another one (they work but they are far from great - it would probs be like for like) the only new items we ever had was the fridge, microwave and dishwasher (the fridge is cheap and dodgy, the dishwasher was stolen - the microwave still works though)

:-o

Is this real ? I'm hoping your joking x

Our honeymoon was £4300 and we paid for it . Whatever we get from guests will be most appreciated but I don't want to guilt them into giving a certain amount of money .

HappyRedCAkes now I need to ask you if you're joking? I think what you've written is nice but I think you should replace the £50 for 'money' and change 'save' to 'use' as they're not saving it they'll be spending it either way.

it's all so tricky. We've made sure we have £10 through to £50 honeymoon vouchers and some cheap gift items on our list - I think the most expensive thing we have on thee is £120 although obviously if people wish they can buy 2 of the vouchers etc.

And your dads number is....?

im shocked anyone managed to steal a dishwasher though! That's not an opportunist crime is it? Blimey.

Hmmm....

Don't get me wrong I'm still secretly hoping for a 10 grand cheque off a relative with a secret lottery win x

There are not enough shocked faces to add here.

I can't anyway, on iPad.

Seriously, you're going to mention fifty quid in the 'jokey' note? I've seen it all now. I truly hope you reconsider.

I just think that you shouldn't try and get a certain amount out of your guests ... That's just my opinion . Btw totally can't afford it - some great credit cards out there ! No on a serious level everyone is different but If I got an assumption of a £50 gift I'm more likely to give £5 x c

It's not terrible at all. I'm asking for the same thing. If we don't get enough money for a fancy honeymoon we'll go somewhere less nice or save up for an extra year or something. I just don't personally agree with trying to steer people to a particular figure. In reality the average you receive will probably be around that figure anyway so in a way no need to try and steer your friends and family.

I'm so glad it's not just me - I thought I was just having a bad day and taking everything wrong xxx ( I was hoping for you to pop up and put my mind at ease ... Miss blunt ) x

Whatever my personal objections to asking for money are, it seems enough of you think it acceptable. However, as before, specifying an amount makes me slightly dizzy.

Perhaps if you can't afford it....never mind.

Wow -------------

( FTLOMB you out me off money poems and asking for anything ! I thank you for that )

Also, Redcakes, if I read your guest numbers correctly, your maths is off?

For £4k, you need 80 gifts of £50. Are you expecting 80 units of people each giving separate gifts?