How did you decide what your wedding would look like

I was the same! I always knew I wanted to get married, but never really thought much about the details. It looks like you have plenty of time though (August 2025), which is good.

I started by thinking about who we wanted to invite, and that helped shape what venues we looked at (in terms of capacity - no use looking at tiny venues if we wanted a large number of people there). My fiancé wanted everything in one place (ceremony, reception, accommodation) so that was another element.

I struggled with the 'theme' (which I don't think is desperately important, but does help) until I realised he's a proud Scot and I'm equally proud Yorkshire, so thistles and white roses were the way to go. He will wear his kilt in his family tartan, so I can use the colours in that as well to match elements like my dress and the bridesmaids dresses.

We chose some decorations we liked, which was reassuringly easy (having trawled through numerous websites, which was less so!) and are kind of going from there. We're having a bit of a break from planning at the moment - after the initial flurry we haven't got many tasks to do right now until it gets busy again next year.

Hope some of that at least gives you something to think about. Maybe try searching for themes or weddings to see what you like the look of. It's your day - the two of you - and you can mix and match how you want!

We don't really have a 'theme' as such. When people ask about colours I say dark red and pale pink roses.... as we aren't having bridesmaids, I don't think settling on a specific colour is as important. We made a rough guest list so we knew what size venue/ how many meals we would require for pricing.
Even when you do make decisions/ considering options, don't feel you need to share with all the family/ close friends- their opinions may upset you or put you in an awkward position.
Finally, once you've got a few email quotes, decide a budget, what you would be comfortable spending. It's all very well thinking about an Instagram wedding, but if you can't afford it, it will only make you sad and resentful. When deciding a budget, think must haves, if we can afford to have and no one will notice if we don't have.... my must have is as many friends as possible, if we can afford a photo booth that would be fun and don't want/ need is a fancy car and wedding favours Happy Planning..... x

I agree with everything that Lizzie and Emily have said. Similarly to you I always wanted to get married but never really thought about what it would look like! I had ideas of what I didn’t want, but not what I actually wanted.


I pulled together a guest list to understand the rough venue size needed and then looked at our budget and the venues that suited. We have settled for a hotel, where both the ceremony and reception can take place at the same site. Also we have gone for a package deal for the venue hire, DJ, drinks and food. So it was all super easy.
I would say don’t panic or worry too much on the tiny minute details yet. Things such as a post box for cards etc are really easy to sort. Section out a plan for venue, budget and wedding party and I am sure you will find the rest will come together. I was a tad too hasty on some things and have wasted money. For example I bought a wedding planner book instantly after getting engaged and the next week my mum had bought me one as an engagement present surprise, ooops!
We also have been looking at instragram/ Facebook/ Google/ pictures of our venue decorated etc. It has been really helpful for inspiration! I am wishing you the best with the planning and the wedding!! Xx

View quoted message Thanks Lizzie! Definitely a great place to start. The thistles and white roses is such a cute theme. I’ll definitely try and think of something that matches us as people as our theme, that’s a really nice idea. Probably not from where we’re from - south east London doesn’t have anything as glamorous as thistles and white roses, more like old beer bottles and knives which isn’t very wedding-ey lol. Thanks for your help 😊

View quoted message Thanks Emily, I think I’ll give it a go to write a “must haves” and write a guest list and you’re right that’s probably a great starting point. Already getting A LOT of opinions and it’s a bit overwhelming. Thanks for your help!

View quoted message Same I’ve found the don’t wants much easier to identify than the actual do wants. Definitely seems like a guest list is the ideal starting place to start though. If you had any great Instagram or Facebook pages you liked that you could share that would be amazing. Thanks for your help! Wish me luck!

View quoted message I am sure you will get a guest list together really quickly! Unfortunately no specific pages, I was mainly using hashtags or looking at local venues to me for inspiration. Wishing you the best on your wedding plans! X

I made me and my fiancée sit down and each make lists of what we wanted in terms of location, size, type of building, theme, etc. and then we collated the responses that were the same and went from there. We both wanted small and away from where we live so we had a good mutual agreement to base our searches on.


We also did the same for honeymoon destinations!

Also was not to sure of what I wanted my wedding to be (or when).
Contacted everyone I really wanted to be there and found one Saturday that all the people we wanted there could do (without taking extra time off work- most friends are teachers so also restricted time of year).
Once I had a date and rough numbers contacted lots of places and searched online to find somewhere I liked that was free. The first place I visited in person I loved.

Same with everyone else, had no idea what I wanted, so started with guest list. After we had viewed one venue we knew what we didn't want, and worked from there with what we did want.
I then used the style of the venue to inform some other decision, its a farm, so going rusticy was the obvious choice. We also knew we wanted to incorporate my other halfs vintage car so that also helped with some decisions.
After I found my dress I was suddenly able to visualise things a bit better. But at the end of the day I still don't really know, and in terms of a colour scheme if peole ask I'm saying 'yes colours are good'!